Women with a history of trauma, mental illness, and substance abuse need extra tools for dealing with being triggered. Being triggered isn’t just uncomfortable, but potentially dangerous, putting us at risk for relapse.
In this post, your friends at Villa Kali Ma take a closer look at the best strategies for dealing with the triggered state once, sharing our personal favorites.
What is Triggering
First off, let’s define our terms. The word triggered, used in common parlance these days, refers to suddenly becoming dysregulated, in response to exposure to a stimulus, or trigger. Typically the stimulus is a trigger for us when we have associated that stimulus subconsciously with a past event that was overwhelmingly horrible for us. For example, if we were shamed at school when we had to read in front of the class, we may get triggered into a state of panic many years later in a work environment, when put in a situation where we may need to read out loud. It is common that we do not remember the original event, or at least do not realize that the feelings we’re now being flooded with actually belong to the past. Instead, from our point of view, these feelings come on from out of nowhere, often perplexing and confusing us.
When we’re triggered, we go into an automatic mental, emotional, and physiological reaction that signals that we are in danger. The body signals danger through uncomfortable physical states, like shallow breath, muscle tension, sweating, and racing heart. These body symptoms are signs that the body is preparing itself automatically for reacting quickly in service of safety. If we need to defend ourselves or get away from something that’s threatening, the body is ready to physically move us.
Being triggered is very uncomfortable. Emotionally, it usually falls in a range between rage, fear, dread, panic, and a vague sense that something truly terrible is happening. We may feel instinctively that we must take action immediately, or else the world will come to an end. However, that urge to act immediately is often combined with a panicky fear, with not knowing what action to take. Typically the mind starts speeding up, looping and going haywire, while our bodies go into an altered state.
It can be helpful to know that there are two kinds of altered states that indicate we are triggered. The altered state can be high energy, feeling like agitation, anger, or intense fear, in which case we may feel very energized, filled with a desire to run away or fight. If that state goes on for two long without resolution, or if we have a pre-existing patterning of going straight into collapse, we may experience the other end of the pole. The dorsal vagal collapse, rather than feeling high energy, feels like the opposite: a state of going limp, numb, foggy, and low energy, like playing possum. In either mode we typically have very restricted breath and may notice our heartbeat behaving strangely.
The Problem with Triggering
The reason all women with substance abuse history need a strategy for dealing with triggering, is because it can easily lead to destructive behavior. It is very likely that in the past, we managed the unpleasant physiological, emotional, and mental experience of triggering by using substances. In general, we need to understand that while triggered we are quite literally out of our minds and in a truly altered state. We do not think clearly when triggered, and since our bodies are in a state of high fear mixed with aggression, the choices we make are generally poor – driven by a sense that survival is on the line. For women with a substance abuse history, triggering is a relapse risk. For women with mental health and trauma problems, with or without substance abuse, triggering can still be enormously disruptive and derailing. It is likely that we may get in fights, or have other kinds of meltdowns, or even behave in ways that have consequences for us, if we don’t have a trusted way to soothe ourselves.
Also, we deserve some help with triggering. Being triggered is horrible, and it’s not our fault. Triggering is the legacy of what other people did to us long ago. The heartbreaking difficulty is that when triggered, we are confusing the bad past with the better present. When triggered, we fear that the horrible things that are actually behind us, are in front of us. We think that the nightmare we successfully escaped already, is still to come.
The wonderful news is, there are many, many resources for dealing with triggering. One of the reasons that AA and other 12 Step Programs come so highly recommended, is that they provide a network of soothing people upon whom we can rely when we’re triggered. In addition to relying on safe people for help, there are many things that we can do all by ourselves.
Strategies for Coping with Triggering
Here are some tips from your friends at Villa Kali Ma, for handling your next triggering episode.
Interpret What’s Going On Correctly: “It’s just Triggering!”
The next time you notice that you are mobilized into high fight-flight, or you are collapsed, foggy, and without energy, label it as “just triggering”. Say to yourself, “Oh! It’s just triggering”. It’s important to say “just”, to help minimize it. It’s not a big scary thing, just a nervous system reaction leftover from long ago. It’s normal for all women who have trauma. It’s not the past happening all over again, it’s a flashback. It’s an echo in the body and nervous system, and as real as it feels, it is only a memory.
We got this tip from the lovely Janina Fisher here.
Anchor Yourself in Time and Space
You can tell when you’re in a memory instead of the present moment, by asking, is this terrible thing happening right now, or am I only afraid that it might happen?
Chances are very high, that it is not actually happening currently, but parts within you are screaming at you that something bad might be happening again. Your partner might leave you, you might lose your job, you might be in big trouble. But you don’t know yet.
See if you can discern whether it is only a threat, or actually happening now, verifiably. Even if it is happening, see that the same events will feel different to you now that you’re an adult. You can be dumped and it won’t kill you, it’s not the same as being abandoned by your parents when you were little. Anyone can lose a job, but you can find another – you aren’t dependent on adults to feed and protect you anymore.
To anchor yourself in time and space, it helps to look around ask, In this moment, in this place, with these people, am I actually really in danger? You may want to place a hand on your heart and say, My mind is looking out for danger. Thank you mind. But I believe that I am safe enough right now.
For this one, the credit could go to many, but we’ll acknowledge the lovely Deb Dana and her work applying the insights from Polyvagal Theory (https://www.amazon.com/Anchored-Befriend-Nervous-System-Polyvagal/dp/1683647068).
Use Parts Language
The next time you get triggered, you may want to try using parts work. In Internal Family Systems Therapy, a wonderful form of therapy that conceptualizes the psyche as having many different parts, triggering is understood as being “blended with a part”.
According to IFS, when a part is activated, it gets our attention by blending with us. This is true of protector parts (parts that most often carry anxiety or anger as part of their protective strategy) as well as exile parts (the parts that carry the raw, vulnerable trauma material). Blending means that a part temporarily takes over.
When a part blends with us, it fills our head with its thoughts, and fills our bodies with its sensations and feelings. Whatever age that part is, we will feel the same age. When we notice we feel younger, more powerless, and vulnerable than we actually are, that indicates that a younger part has blended with us.
Triggering means a part that needs healing has surfaced and is trying to get our attention. If we are scared, it is a scared part that has blended with us because she needs some help and healing. If we are angry, we are feeling a part’s anger, and getting a message from that angry part.
So instead of saying I am so angry, or I am terrified, or I’m freaking out, you may get relief by acknowledging instead: a terrified part is blending with me right now. An agitated part of me is showing me how she feels. A disappointed part is letting me know that she needs my attention. These feelings belong to a part of me, these are her sensations, these are her experiences. I wonder how I can help her feel heard and understood, soothed and helped.
There are many great IFS practitioners, and for this technique we will thank Frank Anderson (https://www.frankandersonmd.com/) and his wonderful book, Transcending Trauma.
Get Physical
The most effective tools for helping yourself when you’re triggered go through the body. Pat Ogden’s PEACE protocol, from Sensorimotor Therapy, and Peter Levine’s SCOPE protocols, are worth practicing every day and memorizing.
Both approaches involve three key components: slowing everything way, way down, orienting to the here and now by looking around our environment, and using what’s called a “somatic resource”. A somatic resource may include laying our hands over our heart, tapping, stretching, or anything else that helps soothe the body. When we were children, we needed people to pick us up and hug us, touch us, for us to feel safe. We still need that, and the good news is we can get it from ourselves by using somatic resources.
We here at Villa Kali Ma especially love the Peter Levine hug:
Place your right hand under your left arm, holding your ribcage/armpit/side of your heart. With your left hand, firmly grip your right shoulder or upper arm. Squeeze your right shoulder with your left hand or rub your right upper arm. Stay in this position and just breathe, for 1 minute, holding yourself until you feel calm.
Heal Your Trauma at Villa Kali Ma
Villa Kali Ma is a unique provider of mental health, trauma, and addiction recovery services for women. Our licensed facilities, located in the northern San Diego County area, offer inpatient and outpatient programs that help women recover lives of peace and freedom, through a combination of effective western clinical approaches and gentle natural modalities. Our state-of-the-art trauma center is licensed to provide ketamine assisted psychotherapy, EMDR, Brainspotting, and more. If you’re looking for help learning to relate to yourself and your trauma history with more love, kindness, and creativity, consider joining our community of amazing women!
