A Journey Within and Beyond Cocaine Addiction

Cocaine is a perilously addictive stimulant derived from the leaves of the coca plant found in South America. Commonly called coke, and once included as a star ingredient in the recipe for Coca-Cola (as the name of the product indicates), cocaine used to be included in common household medicines intended as over the counter “elixirs” (often mixed with opiates for a complete effect) before coca’s real destructive power was wholly recognized.

Although primarily cleared out of the pharmaceutical canon, except for use as a local anesthetic, cocaine enjoyed a revival as an illicit drug in the United States during the 1970s, earning the reputation of being an “upper class” drug the excessive expense of maintaining cocaine addiction. However, since the more affordable version of the substance was created, crack cocaine and cocaine addiction are no longer limited to the high-end market. Cocaine is brought into the United States through an extensive network of smaller and larger drug cartels and is one of the top products trafficked worldwide.

Cocaine can be dissolved and injected intravenously, snorted in powder form, and smoked as crack or freebase. Through its direct action on the brain, cocaine is highly habit-forming. It results in numerous health problems affecting the heart, mind, and respiratory systems and creates psychological wreckage for users – intense depression, anxiety, and psychosis. In smoked forms, cocaine has an even more direct entry route, and its powers are concentrated, including its addictiveness.

Cocaine originally lures us by appealing to what can be thought of as our more masculine, action, and thought-oriented side (as opposed to feelings and receptivity). The side of us that likes to direct and control environments, be in charge, and experience effectiveness will like cocaine. It is no accident that cocaine is often used in business circles, as it tends to aggravate those qualities already welcome in the business world – competitiveness, narcissism, and extraversion.

Many people “work well” under the influence of cocaine for a short time, as the euphoria and the mental-body stimulation allows them to fly, for a time, on borrowed wings in their social and work worlds. These wings fall off, and the person begins to experience the stunning drop, which involves depression, or ego deflation, where the person’s sense of themselves as well as the energy and ability to have positive thoughts about the self is now impaired and comes to depend on the presence of the substance.

Cocaine addiction works as a pump, pumping air into the ego, inflating it into a giant bouncy castle of optimism, but equally deflates when absent. When looking at women who are drawn to cocaine, we may be seeing people who for whatever reason look for and enjoy a boost to their masculine pole, to the part that likes to be “large and in charge,” the claim that wants to be gregarious, productive, and high energy. This is the side within us most valued by our culture, whether born biologically male or female.

Cocaine boosts the part of us that can succeed in society. The spirit of cocaine addiction has to do with ego inflation – or what might be called feeling “up.” Not just energetically, but specifically in terms of self-perception. Under the influence of cocaine, people become more confident, verbal, assertive, and perceive themselves as powerful and capable in ways they would not feel without it. In short, a cocaine trip is an ego trip. However, cocaine addiction destroys the user’s personality, including the ego, which becomes ever more brittle and fragile, disordered, and dysfunctional.

The organic infrastructure of character is converted into a house for the spirit of addiction. So although cocaine temporarily loans feelings of direction, focus, high energy, and self-esteem, it also directly destroys our ability to get there naturally, leaving us, as all drugs do, less able to focus, feel emotionally ok enormously weakened. Whatever the root cause of cocaine addiction is, prolonged use and abuse foster a negative, entitled, violent type of masculine principle energy pattern to live inside a woman instead of her real soul.

Over time, the woman that this malicious parasitic spirit of addiction rules is subject to ever more fractious, abusive thoughts, including psychosis and paranoia, and of course, the increasing drive to use the substance, not infrequently to the point of death. Cocaine often appeals to those who need to feel that their self is a winner, not just inferior but superior, a real contender. As such, it will always be an enormously addictive substance if humans are born with the “ego program” pre-installed in us.

The ego will always like something that increases its reign of influence. We are all wounded in our self-esteem, and something that seems to take away that pain will be intriguing to us. Ego inflation is not true self-esteem, however, and feeling that one is above others, more successful, more of a winner than they, however much the ego likes it, is isolating and does not create happiness. Instead, it makes a drive to fly higher and higher, to become more and more selfish, competitive, and self-centered, and to push more and more loved ones out to the periphery, until all are kicked underneath into the “less than” position, just for the poor ego-possessed person to feel safe.

Having a massive, over-inflated, healthy ego is enormously lonely, as it walls us off from those we long to be loved by. That is why even though people with a narcissistic personality structure seem to have an enviable amount of self-approval, their heart-shattering loneliness makes them deserving of our most profound compassion. Thus, cocaine makes a narcissist of anyone. Most of us are afraid of our depression, our low self-esteem, and the deflated pole, and the way that we conquer that within is to be in an adversarial relationship with it, to try to subjugate that within us which is vulnerable, weaker, what might be called the more feminine or yin qualities of receptivity.

Typically, we have a good reason for this pattern, often due to trauma from our lives when we had less power (as a child, for example). Finally, we do not want to spend any more time feeling powerless, less-than, and ego-deflated any longer in charge of our own lives. But what we resist persists. Women dependent on the substance and desperate need for cocaine addiction treatment go into withdrawals when unable to use. Those withdrawals of cocaine addiction treatment are, as all withdrawals are, the equal and opposite effect of the drug itself. However far high up the drug took us above our baseline, we will swing, like a pendulum, precisely that far down below our original baseline, to the absolute nadir.

More profoundly depressed than when we started, more decimated in self-esteem, and more powerless, vulnerable, frightened, and traumatized. If you have fallen victim to the chains of substance abuse, please know that you have the right, at any time, to cancel that bargain and sincerely come back to your sovereignty through cocaine addiction treatment. With the proper cocaine addiction treatment and help, you have the right and the power to stop using the substance completely and gradually regrow natural, life-sustaining pathways in your brain and body.

You can grow your inner world back to the point where you can sustain positive, humble feelings of your worth in connection with others. You can make your inner world a place where it is safe for you to feel your vulnerability without fear of exploitation, enjoy your influxes of energy as they come, and experience your deep-bodied, more relaxed natural cycles of lower stamina. When you decide to seek cocaine addiction treatment and remove the substance and collapse the “house” that addiction has been living in, it cannot continue to live in you. You oversee this; only you can say what spirits you permit to live in you.

An Integrative Approach to Cocaine Addiction Treatment for Women

If you are ready to commit to cocaine addiction treatment and get back to substance-free yourself, come to Villa Kali Ma. In time, you will not need any substance to experience your natural heights. Instead, you will discover your birthright-given abilities to rise, ascending with all the support of the universe under your wings. To learn more about our cocaine addiction treatment program, contact us today. We are here to help.

I don't believe it to be an exaggeration to say that Villa Kali Ma saved my life.
I couldn't have asked for a better environment to heal and redirect onto a path towards true living.


This place completely changed my life. I needed a drastic change from the typical recovery environment in order to stay sober long-term. I can honestly say that I love who I am today and I am forever grateful for Villa Kali Ma!


I am so grateful I found Villa Kali Ma, it has truly changed my life. Kay is awesome and the entire team who works there is absolutely amazing. If you need treatment, I highly recommend making this the start to your recovery.


Villa Kali Ma is an in-network provider with Anthem BCBS, Multiplan, First Health, Healthnet, and currently accepts most
PPO plans with out-of-network benefits. Call (760) 814-8214 for information on cost and payment options.