Author: Holly Mae Haddock

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Mental Health

Understanding the Different Types of Anxiety Disorders

Occasional nerves and worry are an expected part of daily life—no one is safe from feeling the sting of anxiety at some point or another. Feeling nervous before taking a test, when faced with a problem at work, or before making an important decision is a normal response to situations your body interprets as a threat. This type of stress can actually be helpful to us as it gives us clues about our environment and makes us pay attention. Anxiety disorders, on the other hand, involve more than temporary or situational worry or fear. You may know that you are dealing with anxiety, and your awareness of different types of anxiety disorders may lead you to ask, “What is the name for what I’m feeling?”

Read on for descriptions of the different types of anxiety disorders you may be facing. 

Different Types of Anxiety Disorders

As the most common mental health challenge in the United States, anxiety disorders affect nearly 30% of adults at some point in their lives. 

Symptoms of anxiety disorders can interfere with daily activities such as job performance, school, work, and relationships. It can prevent us from doing everyday activities when feelings of intense fear, worry, and distress become overwhelming.

In the English language, anxiety is both a synonym for excitement and fear. Knowing the wide range of emotions that correlate with this one word, it’s understandable that the different types of anxiety disorders span just as wide:

What Do They Share In Common?

While some of these disorders may seem unrelated, there is actually a very important theme that exists in all of them: avoidance. 

The different names of these disorders, more than anything, describe your body’s way of reacting (or avoiding) the stress of your environment or the fears you have inside. Those with GAD spend their days in endless worry, those with OCD feel compelled to manage their anxiety through certain behavioral tics, and those with social anxiety retreat inward, avoiding public places at all costs. Even those with a panic disorder typically develop a co-occurring agoraphobia as they dread the thought of an attack occurring in public. 

Although many people recognize PTSD as belonging to a mental health classification all of its own, it does truly belong with the other anxiety disorders. PTSD occurs when individuals are survivors of violence, horrific scenes of war or death, or threats to their life experienced themselves or secondhand. The symptoms that develop cause the person to continually relive the past, whether they’re awake or asleep, and robs them of a sense of safety. We see the same avoidance mechanisms kick in when those with diagnosable cases of PTSD will go to any length to avoid any triggers that set the scene for their trauma to replay. 

Anxiety and Alcohol

Not surprisingly, many people who face constant or severe anxiety often stumble upon a tool that greatly aids in their avoidance: alcohol. The relationship with alcohol or other drugs often takes on a life of its own, as it quickly becomes their go-to coping mechanism to escape from the painful experience of anxiety. Without addressing both the anxiety-avoidance cycle and the resulting use of alcohol or drugs treatment is less likely to be effective. 

What Is The Treatment For Different Types Of Anxiety Disorders?

Thankfully science has come a long way, and anxiety disorders and co-occurring addictions are treatable with several effective treatments available. The first step is to make sure there is no other physical problem causing the symptoms. A mental health professional can work with you on the best treatment in the case that they diagnose you with an anxiety disorder.

No matter the specific anxiety disorder that you face, there are several things you can do to help cope with symptoms in a more helpful way to make treatment more effective. Stress management techniques and meditation can be helpful to alleviate some symptoms. Support groups can also provide an opportunity to share experiences and coping strategies. 

Anxiety disorders are generally treated with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. However, when there is a pattern of addiction in the mix, individuals do well to consider anxiety treatment that does not cause further reliance on avoidance strategies (hint: even prescribed medication can further contribute to patterns of addiction rather than healing).

Here at Villa Kali Ma, we work to heal women from the effects of addictions and the underlying emotional intolerance that fuels the avoidance cycle. 

We invite you to share yourself in your own time when you are ready. Know that you are welcome to unfold your imperfections and vulnerabilities in a safe space free of judgment, condemnation, rejection, and ridicule. At Villa Kali Ma, you will be welcomed and cared for with the respect, love, and dignity you deserve.

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Mental Health

What Is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?

The rise and pervasiveness of post-traumatic stress disorder worldwide have demanded we approach others — not just those in addiction treatment — with more care and intention. This includes how we talk about trauma and what we include when we consider its effects. As one of the most emotionally debilitating mental health disorders affecting 3.5% of U.S. adults, those diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder require specialized treatment.

As a mental health community, we are only more recently aware that those who develop diagnosable PTSD are a small minority of the population exposed to traumatic events. Many events beyond the cruelties of war and childhood abuse can elicit a trauma response. Even before we take our very first breath, we are not immune to the possibility of trauma. In the last year alone, given the threat to certainty and our way of life, we have experienced a collective trauma.

In a nationwide survey, 40.9% of respondents reported experiencing at least one adverse mental or behavioral health condition or symptoms of a trauma-and stressor-related disorder (TSRD) related to the pandemic. Everyone reacts to traumatic events differently, with not all experiences leading to post-traumatic stress disorder development. Each person is unique in their ability to manage fear and distress. However, similar patterns emerge as we seek to understand how those with PTSD address the trauma that threatens their very wellbeing.

To avoid the bitter reality of what they experienced, many individuals turn to substances. They aim to numb their pain or gain some measure of control in their lives. So what warrants a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder, and what treatment is available for trauma and the often unhelpful addiction patterns it creates? This article begins at diagnosis and will lead you to discover your incredible power over your past.

Diagnosing PTSD

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual stipulates that we cannot diagnose post-traumatic stress disorder until at least one month has passed since the traumatic event. If symptoms of PTSD are present, a medical professional will begin an evaluation first by assessing your complete medical history and doing a physical exam. Although there are no lab tests to diagnose PTSD explicitly, the doctor may use various tests to rule out other physical illnesses as the cause of the presented symptoms.

Symptoms of PTSD

Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder often begin within three months of the traumatic event. In some cases, they may not arise until years later. The duration and severity of symptoms associated with PTSD can vary. Some people recover from severe symptoms within six months, while others sustain its effects for much longer. There is no one path to healing, but attention to all parts of you, body, mind, and soul, is the cornerstone of holistic recovery. Symptoms of PTSD often put in four common categories:

    1. Reliving
    2. Avoiding
    3. Increased arousal
    4. Negative cognitions and mood

Reliving

Those diagnosed with PTSD repeatedly relive the traumatic experience through swirling thoughts and memories of the trauma. People who have post-traumatic stress disorder may feel distressed when specific things remind them of the trauma, such as the event’s anniversary. These cues may lead to flashbacks, hallucinations, and even nightmares. When in that triggered state of mind, physiological changes in behavior and emotions occur.

    • Flashbacks
    • Frequent nightmares
    • Prolonged emotional distress
    • Physiological reactions to trauma reminders
    • Intrusive, invasive, involuntary memories of the event(s)

Avoiding

A person with post-traumatic stress disorder may avoid people, places, thoughts, or situations that remind them of the trauma. By avoiding the triggers that create that state of mind, they can lower their risk of further trauma flashbacks. This avoidance of things can lead to internal feelings of detachment and isolation from family and friends. Also, there may be a loss of interest in activities that the person once enjoyed.

    • Avoidance (or attempts to avoid) trauma reminders

Increased Arousal

Another symptom of PTSD includes excessive emotions. Powerful emotions like these can cause problems relating to others. Some of these issues involve feeling and showing affection, difficulty falling and staying asleep, irritability, sudden outbursts of anger, difficulty concentrating, and being easily startled. A person diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder may also suffer manifested physical symptoms, such as increased blood pressure and heart rate, increased breathing, increased muscle tension, nausea, and even diarrhea.

    • Difficulty concentrating
    • Self-harm or self-injury
    • Increased anger and irritability
    • Insomnia or other sleep problems
    • Risky or self-destructive behavior
    • Hyper-vigilance (being on edge) and exaggerated startle response

Negative Cognitions and Mood

Thoughts and feelings related to blame, guilt, estrangement, and memories of the traumatic event strongly impair mental cognition and emotional mood. This snowball feedback cycle can become highly toxic. Learning to be aware and how to handle triggers will increase one’s quality of life tremendously.

    • Blocked out memories or inability to recall parts of the traumatic event
    • Negative and often fearful beliefs about oneself, others, or the world
    • Constant negative mood state and distorted thoughts
    • Inability to feel pleasure or other positive emotions
    • Heightened sense of self-blame or guilt
    • Feeling disconnected from others

Managing & Treating Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder treatment aims to reduce the emotional and physical symptoms and improve daily functioning. Treatment for PTSD can include psychotherapy, medication, or both. However, due to often co-occurring addiction patterns, it’s vital to consider whether pharmaceutical management of PTSD will only serve to create more challenges to avoid trauma reminders at all costs.

In contrast, therapy focused on body, mind, and soul — as we offer at our women’s residential addiction treatment center — helps those with PTSD better manage their trauma symptoms instead of running from them. Relying on our understanding of trauma’s effects on the body, brain, nervous system, and psyche, we tailor our holistic treatment approach to address the whole person.

Our integrated approach to treating PTSD and addiction teaches women not just how to survive their past; they’re already experts in that area. We teach them how to truly live and how to be no longer haunted by it. Connect with us today to learn more about how we heal trauma and addiction.

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Substance Abuse

Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families

The reach of alcoholism extends far beyond the person struggling with the addiction. It affects families in often dramatic and life-altering ways. While most family members adapt or have the ability to remove themselves from a toxic situation, children have less of a voice in how their loved ones’ choices will impact their lives.

Despite their profound abilities to adapt and overcome, children rarely make it through these formative years of their lives unscathed. Nearly seven million children grew up in homes plagued by alcoholism. Irrevocable change happens to those forced to navigate the trauma of instability and neglect.

While we can overcome and heal from those experiences, their continued effects on our lives are also often overlooked. From childhood into the far-reaching corners of adulthood, being the child of an alcoholic alters the core of who someone is or who they will become. Read on to learn more about the scars of adult children of alcoholics.

Adult Children of Alcoholics

When uncertainty is a benchmark of growing up, children learn to mask their trauma and cope by whatever means necessary. Often this leads to becoming fearful of several things:

    • Criticism
    • Authority
    • Anger
    • Loss of approval

It may lead to following in the family’s footsteps of developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol or other risk-seeking behaviors. There are numerous ways that those traits may express themselves. Many whose childhoods were riddled with alcohol-related strife find difficulty in their adult lives regulating their moods and behavior.

Distortion of reality to avoid responsibility is just as likely as becoming so consumed with the need to control that they struggle to make connections that may threaten their independence. Thus, they once developed the survival strategies to cope with their reality and may now affect their behavior and relationships in extensive ways.

Emotional Dysfunction

It’s not uncommon for children of alcoholics to grow into adults who struggle to love — especially when love has always looked like fixing — or to repress emotions into numbness. They may struggle to make connections and find security in the relationships they do have.

Often, they experience profound difficulty trusting themselves, leading to low self-esteem, doubts in decision-making abilities, and intense fears of abandonment. When you are a child of an alcoholic family, there is little regularity or stability in how your outward emotional expressions are received.

Regulating those feelings can be difficult when the reactions from a parent struggling with sobriety are unpredictable. It can rob you of the sense of safety and, in self-preservation, lead to the need to conceal or repress those emotions.

While we can overcome this nature’s emotional trauma, it can also become deeply cemented in how we operate in the world. With such deeply ingrained behaviors, it’s possible that as you age, you may struggle to see them as fixable or even as problems at all.

Because of how we have learned to survive, emotions can feel wildly varied in their accessibility to us. It can feel unsafe to express them to those we perceive to have authority over us or those who may offer rejection in exchange for our vulnerability.

Problematic Priorities

To the children of alcoholic families, perhaps the most challenging aspect of wrapping their head around is their demotion on their parent’s list of priorities. As drinking becomes the focus of every day, it becomes the organizing factor in daily life.

Physical health suffers, as alcoholism can contribute to cardiac stress, liver dysfunction, and many blood pressure issues. Physical impacts do not lie solely with the alcoholic. Health issues can manifest in their loved ones, children in particular, as anxiety or even malnourishment in some cases.

Financial security becomes tentative when facing threats to employment and the expense of alcohol. Also, lower inhibitions when drinking may be the catalyst for overspending, leaving little money for necessities. This can spark food and shelter insecurity that becomes a critical fear of children as they move into adulthood.

It can manifest in extreme behaviors on either end of the financial spectrum. Some children find security in saving every penny for emergencies. In contrast, others use their past as an excuse for reckless adult spending since they already survived such instability once.

The High Risks & Hopes for Children of Alcoholics

While there is a significantly higher risk of adult children of alcoholics turning to drink themselves, there is also a lot of hope. Children who grow up seeing the repercussions of the disease have a step up in the awareness of where it may lead and are acutely aware of the warning signs before getting there.

Organizations like Adult Children of Alcoholics support the unique struggles of children who have grown up in this type of environment. As treatment centers like Villa Kali Ma work to restore your loved one to health in body, mind, and soul, know that the work of recovery is only beginning.

Healing family relationships is essential to sustainable recovery. It’s possible to overcome the trauma and habits ingrained from childhood and decide that you want to walk a different path. Through support and a healing treatment environment, we can soothe your inner child to build a future of hope and health beyond the reach of alcoholism.

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Mental Health

The Many Types of Mental Health Disorders

There are many types of mental health disorders. While many of these can share similar symptoms, it’s important to understand that a disorder may affect one person differently than another. For this reason, it’s always best to seek professional evaluation and guidance. A professional offering sustainable recovery will have the experience and insight needed to guide you along your journey as you strive to heal your mind, body, and spirit.

In this article, we’re exploring several common types of mental health disorders. If you suspect you may be experiencing one of the following mental health disorders and turn to substances to self-medicate uncomfortable feelings, consider exploring the benefits of co-occurring disorder treatment.

Types of Mental Health Disorders

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) contains close to 200 diagnoses, and it would be outside the scope of this article to begin to list them all. Thankfully, the authors of the current DSM have neatly categorized the various disorders underneath headings that encompass the core of the concern. The following are some of the major categories of disorder, as well as a few of the more common diagnoses ascribed to them.

Here are several common types of mental health disorders and variations.

Anxiety-Related Disorders

Having a sense of anxiety is perfectly normal when being faced with a genuine threat. Anxiety stems from our instinctual flight-or-fight response and is the body’s way of preparing for danger. When we carry around that high level of alertness throughout the course of a normal day, however, an anxiety disorder may be the cause.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Generalized anxiety disorder is one of the most frequently diagnosed mental disorders. It is characterized by feeling a sense of dread, worry, or anxiousness, but without having a direct source of concern to point a finger at. Those struggling with GAD may find themselves struggling to concentrate and unable to get a good night of sleep, and may also experience physical symptoms related to the stress.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety is something that many of us experience as teens. If we are unable to move past this developmental feeling of awkwardness around others, we may be suffering from a social anxiety disorder. People with this disorder will excessively worry about how others may be judging them and will be unable to relax in social situations.

Mood Disorders

When we think of mood, most of us think of feelings. While feelings are definitely linked to mood, your mood is more of a state of predisposition. When our mood orientation is negative or fluctuating, our feelings tend to follow suit.

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

Major depressive disorder is another very common diagnosis. With MDD, a person will consistently feel hopeless, sad, and unmotivated to move forward in life. The level of diagnosis will be specified based on the severity and recurrence of the symptoms, ranging from mild to severe.

Bipolar Disorder

Compared to the doldrums of MDD, bipolar disorder may seem like it has some benefits. Rather than only feeling depressed, a person with bipolar disorder will also experience intense periods of feeling good. Unfortunately, these manic periods often come with lapses in judgment that can result in regrettable actions.

Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorders

The diagnoses found underneath this category in the DSM-V were once placed in various other sections. As our knowledge of the impact of trauma grew, crafters of the manual determined that it deserved a category of its own. Diagnoses under this category may also be accompanied by many of the symptoms described in others.

The most common diagnosis found under this category is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD.) The criteria for being diagnosed with PTSD include the onset of symptoms following exposure to a traumatic event. The event can be caused by first-hand experience or second-hand exposure to a traumatic event. The subjective nature of what constitutes trauma, combined with the individual’s ability to process the events, makes the condition of PTSD best left in the hands of an experienced professional.

Personality Disorders

Unlike other disorders, personality disorders are generally considered to be something a person has been – and will be – living with for her lifetime. Focus on specific personality disorders tends to follow a trend, with some of the types of diagnoses falling out of the limelight, while others gain attention.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

One of the fastest-growing categories of personality disorder is that of borderline personality disorder. General consensus is that those with this disorder have undergone some sort of difficulty in childhood, resulting in an adult life that is maladapted to the requirements of adult functioning. A person with borderline personality disorder has difficulty forming healthy relationships with others, will tend to experience severe mood swings, and suffers from a poor sense of self.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Women with NPD are unlikely to seek mental health treatment on their own, which can make arriving upon a definitive diagnosis difficult. NPD is characterized by an inflated sense of self-worth and a callous approach toward the needs and feelings of others.

Psychoses

Diagnoses related to psychosis have common symptoms of hallucination, delusion, and disorganized thinking. In some cases, the psychosis can manifest as catatonia, which is the absence of response to external and internal stimuli. The subtle differences in expression will determine which diagnosis best captures what is going on for a person with psychosis. By far, the most common diagnosis of psychosis is that of Schizophrenia. Other forms of psychosis include Schizoaffective Disorder and Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Each of these diagnoses varies in the amount of disruption that they cause in the daily life of the sufferer.

Neurodevelopmental Disorders

When it comes to mental health, it can be difficult to determine which symptoms are related to a mental state, and which are related to the actual structure of the neurons in the brain. Experts have determined that certain types of disorders are based on the latter. Mood and behavioral disturbances for those diagnosed in this category are typically connected to the differing ways that the brain works. Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Intellectual Disability, and Autism Spectrum Disorders all fall into this category.

Substance Abuse Disorders (SUD)

Substance abuse disorders and mental health are increasingly being taken into consideration as co-existing conditions. The DSM has a myriad of SUD diagnoses. They are categorized on the basis of which type of drug is being used, how frequently, and which mental health symptoms are arising as a result. Mental health symptoms associated with SUD include all of the anxiety and mood disorders, as well as symptoms of psychosis.

Conclusion

There are many types of mental health disorders, each of which can have a unique effect on how you feel. If you believe you might identify with any of the mental health disorders mentioned above and you regularly turn to alcohol or prescription drugs as a form of self-medication, it’s time to reach out for help.

Explore the benefits of sustainable recovery at Villa Kali Ma and discover the inspiration you need to move forward with confidence.

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Mental Health

6 Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders

An anxiety disorder is a mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry or fear. Though this type of mental health disorder can impact us all differently, there are several common signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders.

Anxiety disorders are the most common type of mental disorder in the United States. Each year, over 18% of adults suffer from symptoms of anxiety that are worthy of a diagnosis, and statistics are indicating this number has increased over the course of the 2020 pandemic.

With the vast availability of the information available on the internet, finding data to confirm suspicions of anxiety disorder has become an easy task. There are several commons signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders, including excessive worry, fatigue, and more.

If you feel the following symptoms of anxiety disorders and attempt to self-medicate the uncomfortable feelings with alcohol or prescription medication, consider exploring the benefits of treatment for co-occurring disorders.

Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders

Not all anxiety is bad. In fact, anxiety is a sign that our minds and bodies are prepared to get us out of a dangerous situation.

Anxiety is a mechanism of the flight-or-fight response, which has evolved to help humans to survive. When we are faced with a genuine life-or-death scenario, we want our anxiety to be in full effect.

If the anxiety is operating out of context or persists for an unreasonable amount of time, an anxiety disorder may be at the root. In order for a diagnosis of anxiety disorder to apply, several of the following symptoms must be present.

Here are several common signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders.

Excessive Worry

It can be difficult to determine what constitutes an excessive amount of worry. Each of us has our own way of going about things, and we all encounter problems which we have to solve in our own, unique, way.

In general, the amount of worry can be considered excessive if it is interfering with your ability to go about daily life in a normal fashion. If it has you spinning your mental wheels continually, but with no real solution in sight, it might be considered excessive. If the worry persists for six months or more, it might be considered excessive.

Finally, if the amount and duration of the worry are much more severe than the average person would consider putting into a similar scenario, your worry may be considered excessive.

Insomnia

With all of that worry going on, one can imagine that it would be hard to slip off into dreamland and enjoy a blissful sleep.

Insomnia can include anything from not being able to fall asleep in the first place, to not being able to stay asleep throughout the night, to waking up far too early.

Challenges with sleeping can also be a symptom of physical health changes – such as menopause and aging – which makes it important to consider other factors when exploring a diagnosis of anxiety.

Fatigue

Combine constant worry and difficulty sleeping, and you’ve got the prime variables for creating fatigue.

Some may be surprised to learn that mental activity can be even more draining on the body than physical activity. Thinking is such a strenuous activity, that the brain actually uses up calories to do it. While the average person will only rely on a small amount of brain energy to go about the day, the brain of a person with anxiety is in overdrive.

By the time you try to hit the bed at night, you will have expended the energy needed for a mental marathon. Worse still, your brain may refuse to stop running long enough for you to recharge through sleeping.

Difficulty Concentrating

By now, it is easy to see the way that excessive anxiety creates a score of interwoven problems.

Yet another of those is that of inability to concentrate. Not only is the brain of an anxious person exhausted, but it is also consumed with the focus of the worry. Remembering the flight-or-fight response that is at the root of anxiety, it can be surmised that our minds are not designed to think about anything other than what it perceives as a threat.

For the anxious mind, the threat is never-ending. Instinct tells us that our survival depends on being able to eliminate the threat, and our brains won’t let up on the task until it feels safe.

Thinking about mundane topics such as office work and household chores is not considered to be a survival necessity during times of anxiety.

Irritability

Being asked to concentrate on something else while your brain is screaming at you that there is danger afoot can be extremely annoying.

Life is rolling on while the anxious person is invisibly consumed, and others are not likely to have any idea about the inner turmoil that is being experienced.

They may be shocked, hurt, or angry at the irritation that the anxious person expresses when being asked to spare some of the drained attention span on trivial issues.

We only have so much energy to give to others in a day, and the anxious person is running on an empty tank.

Physical Problems

While it can be easy to consider that anxiety is confined to a mental problem, the fact is that it all ties into our biology.

The body is not designed to be in a constant state of alertness. It is designed to amp up long enough to deal with a problem, and then return to a state of homeostasis.

For a person struggling with persistent anxiety, the body is being asked to stay in a perpetual state of readiness for action. Eventually, the resources devoted to this unreasonable task mean that focus is diverted away from tending to other, vital, biological functions.

Persistent anxiety can eventually result in a myriad of physical problems, including digestive issues, muscle pain, irregular heartbeat, increased blood pressure, and migraines.

Types of Anxiety Disorder

While there are several common signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders, an anxiety disorder may impact one woman differently than another woman.

The specific scenarios in which the anxiety is experienced, and the approaches taken in an attempt to relieve the anxiety, will inform your mental health provider as to which anxiety-related diagnosis is most appropriate for your situation.

These factors can range from feeling anxious across all situations for most of the day to only feeling anxious under certain conditions. The severity of symptoms can be described anywhere from mildly distracting to all-consuming.

If you find yourself self-medicating with alcohol or prescription drugs to self-medicate these underlying conditions, consider the benefits of dual-diagnosis treatment. Explore the benefits of holistic recovery and discover the inspiration and guidance needed to help you calm the mind, body, and soul.

Categories
Love

How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship can cause pain and self-doubt that follows you years into the future, even after breaking off a relationship and moving forward with your life. The end of a relationship is never easy, as it often surfaces a wide range of painful emotions.

In this post, we’re taking a closer look at the common signs of a toxic relationship as well as how to heal from a toxic relationship.

How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship

Women tend to find comfort in being able to relate to one another. While sharing war stories about giving birth tends to take first place in relatable stories that we tell, our experiences with being in a toxic relationship run a close second. A quick internet search of “toxic relationships” will bring up an unending list of horror stories and tips for getting out of them.

For various reasons, scores of women have gone a round or two with an abusive relationship. Some of us even go back into the ring for more of the same. Our chances of finally breaking free from the trap of toxic relationships are improved once we know what to look for and how to heal properly.

Here’s how to heal from a toxic relationship.

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships tend to have common characteristics. For whatever reason, these signs tend to be much more noticeable in relationships other than our own. If you are already free from your toxic relationship, you can use this list of signs as confirmation that you did the right thing by leaving. If you are still in a toxic relationship, take these signs as an encouragement to get out.

  • Lies: This is often one of the first signs that we are in a toxic relationship. A partner who lies is messing with our fundamental reality. Beyond causing us confusion, our desire to continue to believe in this person damages our ability to trust our intuition. When the lying partner is particularly crafty, gaslighting techniques can make us feel like we are losing our minds.
  • Negative feelings: This seems like it would be an easy red flag to spot, but those of us who have been in toxic relationships know all too well how easy it is to brush off our negative feelings. In cases where the partner is gaslighting, it is particularly tempting to attribute any discontent to our failures as a person. Any negative emotions that we are experiencing will only be worse while we are trying to blame ourselves for having them in the first place.
  • Isolation: Toxic people like to have their victims all to themselves. When we are isolated from the support of people who genuinely care about our wellbeing, it is harder to recognize that we are being treated poorly. We are more likely to put up with toxic behavior for a more extended period when we do not have our loved ones pointing out the poison.
  • Uncertainty: A hallmark of an unhealthy relationship does not ever know what to expect. From the time we are tiny babies, we are dependent on learning that we will consistently be fed, kept warm, and attended to. This need for security exists even into our adulthood. A relationship where this type of protection is absent can result in chronic feelings of anxiety. A partner who does not seek to foster a sense of security is toxic.

Realize That It Is Not Your Fault

One of the most relieving things that one can realize when it comes to surviving a toxic relationship is that it is not our fault. Sure, we have responsibility for our actions, but our choices and decisions that are made along the way have roots in more profound issues. Specific life experiences and personality bends can make us a prime target for attracting the wrong kind of partner and can cause us to stick around for much longer than someone else would.

The conditions for being in a toxic relationship tend to be set long before we find ourselves within one. While clearing out the list of factors that can make us vulnerable to engaging in a toxic relationship may take a lifetime of individual therapy, the first step is to become aware of them. Those who attract unhealthy relationships are prone to having low regard for their own needs and tend to have trouble setting boundaries with others. We also commonly have some history of abuse or neglect embedded in our childhoods.

The Ongoing Process of Healing

Knowing that we are vulnerable during the aftermath of escaping a toxic relationship lends itself to a good idea of avoiding jumping into another one. We are best served by using the time following the end of the relationship as a space to clear our heads, right our minds, and begin to rebuild a life that the whims of a toxic person cannot tear down.

Get to Know You

Before getting involved in another relationship, it is best to spend some time getting to know yourself. As already mentioned, certain things about us can act as a welcome sign for attracting toxic people. One of those attractants is not knowing who we are and what we need.

The chances are good that you have spent a lot of energy getting to know your ex’s personality and needs. Use some of those psychological skills you have developed and apply them toward understanding yourself. If you would like some help in the process, try finding a compatible therapist to sort through any baggage.

Tend to Your Own Garden

Many women who have spent time in toxic relationships suffer from the tendency to give too much of themselves to other people. Our predisposition toward loving others often traps us in the vicious cycle of abuse, to begin with. Our kindness, concern, and willingness to forgive can be used against us in an abusive relationship. It is a myth to think that others are any more deserving of our care and attention than we are worthy of it, ourselves.

The better that we tend to our own emotional and mental health needs, the more energy we must expand to care for others. You are not doing anyone a favor by presenting a burned-out, frazzled version of yourself to the world. Spend time learning to care for your own needs, using your own set of skills, before deciding to share yourself in another relationship.

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Mental Health Substance Abuse

The Mental Health and Substance Abuse Connection

There is a clear connection between mental health and substance abuse. People often turn to substances as a means of numbing uncomfortable feelings, including depression, anxiety, and trauma. This type of self-medication is dangerous because it can lead to the development of substance abuse and addiction.

In this article, we’re taking a closer look at the clear connection between mental health and substance abuse.

Mental Health and Substance Abuse

There was a time when struggles with substance abuse were considered to be indicative of a failure in character on behalf of the user. So-called alcoholics and drug addicts were considered to be lazy, avoidant of responsibilities, and social miscreants. Society preferred to gossip and cluck tongues about the addict, and then sweep them under the rug as often as possible.

Perhaps it was due to the growing knowledge of prescribed medications contributing to so many addictions, but, at some point, society shifted away from blaming the victim in this scenario. Drug and alcohol addiction began to be recognized not only as a problem for the individual and society but also as being a symptom of underlying factors. Substance abuse is not only treated as a medical condition but also an integrated factor of mental health.

Here’s what you need to know about the connection between mental health and substance abuse.

Co-occurring Disorders

Rather than being kept in a bubble, substance abuse issues are increasingly being treated in tandem with mental health issues. It has been found that nearly 10 million people in the United States suffer from mental health issues which both exacerbate, and are exacerbated by, simultaneous substance abuse. While it can be a type of chicken-and-egg scenario, the high rate of these two factors existing simultaneously has given rise to the perspective of approaching substance abuse as a co-occurring disorder.

Learn more about treatment for co-occurring disorders.

Mental Health Factors Contributing to Substance Abuse

Psychological studies have consistently linked the presence of preexisting mental health disorders to the increased likelihood of engaging in substance abuse behaviors. In therapist circles, this phenomenon is often referred to as self-medicating behavior. A person with an undiagnosed or untreated mental health disorder will attempt to alleviate the uncomfortable symptoms through using alcohol or illicit drugs. Once the mental health issues are appropriately and adequately addressed, such a person may no longer feel the need to attempt to escape through substance abuse. The following are a handful of common mental health conditions that can tempt a person toward using substances.

Depression

The experience of depression is a prime candidate for the temptation to self-medicate. Symptoms of depression include feeling hopeless, lacking in motivation to make changes, and not being able to take joy in daily activities. Depressed people who experiment with substances may find the initial experiences to bring a welcome relief from the weight of despair, not realizing that the temporary reprieve can turn into a spiral of dependence and addiction.

Start healing with a holistic approach to depression.

Anxiety

While those with depression can suffer from a lack of energy, those suffering from anxiety can have too much of it. A person with anxiety will tend to feel keyed up and nervous, even during situations where there is no rational reason for it. Using a non-prescribed substance to calm the nerves can help an anxious person to feel more normal while interacting and relaxing.

Learn more holistic anxiety treatment for women.

Psychosis

As one can imagine, living daily with the symptoms of psychosis can be stressful. Psychosis is characterized as experiencing auditory and visual hallucinations, and as believing in things that other people find absurd or bizarre. The constant barrage of voices, visions, and far-out ideas experienced by people living with such a reality can lead to desperate attempts to shut it down and just relax for a bit. These attempts to indulge in a sense of normality can include using alcohol or illicit drugs.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is included last on this list because it can encompass all of the above symptoms. A person suffering from PTSD has been exposed to some form of a traumatic event in their past. Rather than being able to move past this trauma, the mind, emotions, and body refuse to let it go. The traumatized person can experience a range of mental states and emotions and may turn to alcohol or drugs in an attempt to stabilize.

Learn more about PTSD treatment programs for women.

Substance Abuse Effects on Mental Health

Those who attempt to treat their mental health symptoms with substance abuse may be surprised to learn that the long-term effects of doing so can not only increase those symptoms but also create new ones. Many of us have heard stories of one bad trip resulting in a permanent break from reality. Using substances can also result in scenarios where we find ourselves in genuine danger, resulting in experiencing trauma.

Substance abuse also has a way of robbing us of our ability to experience peace and joy while sober. The following are some of the commonly abused drugs and their potential impact on mental health.

Alcohol

Alcohol is in a rare category when it comes to substance abuse, as it both legal and promoted as a recreational medium within our culture. The benefits of alcohol consumption include feeling more relaxed and able to enjoy the events of the day. What alcohol gives, however, can also end up taking away. Those who persist in heavy alcohol consumption will eventually find that they are unable to enjoy anything without it, which is a symptom of depression.

Marijuana

Marijuana is rapidly joining the ranks of alcohol when it comes to being legal and socially acceptable to use. Proponents of marijuana use cite its tendency to help a person relax before a stressful event or after a long day. For those who indulge in excessive amounts of the drug, this relaxation can turn into an inability to find the motivation to move forward in life. Lacking motivation is a primary symptom that is associated with depression. As with any drug, excessive use of marijuana can result in the development of dependence. Once you develop a dependence on marijuana, you may find it difficult to accomplish basic daily tasks over time.

Opioids

The dangers of opioid addiction came to light over the past decade. Not only were doctors over-prescribing the addictive medication, but users found ways to score the drugs outside of a prescription. When the prescription pills were no longer available, some addicted persons turned to use heroin. While the emotional and physical highs produced by opioids can be pleasurable, the cost of using can be the development of chronic depression.

Amphetamines

Amphetamines, and methamphetamine, fall into the category of stimulant drugs. Users may experience the benefits of increased energy and decreased feelings of vulnerability. Along with these superhuman powers comes a high risk of developing symptoms of psychosis. The experience of paranoia, disorganized thinking, hallucinations, and delusions can persist long after the drugs are ceased, and can even end up being permanent.

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Mental Health

Symptoms of Depression in Women

Many times, when we can’t bring ourselves to get ready for the day when we crawl back into bed in the middle of the afternoon, we wonder to ourselves, “What’s wrong with me? Am I depressed?” When we lie awake in the middle of the night listening to the echoes of that self-critical voice, we think, is it anxiety? We quickly Google “symptoms of depression in women” and hope to find an easy fix.

Although we may think that we’re familiar with the symptoms of depression, we have also become familiar with that this information is not, in and of itself, healing to us. As many women know, depression does not always steal your smile. Instead, we as women have grown especially adept at concealing our emotions and locking our hearts away.

The saddest faces can hide behind smiles so convincing, where even the one wearing it may not realize the truth it conceals. While humans contain the capacity for the full spectrum of emotion, the shame surrounding our expression of them has pushed so many of our complicated feelings into the shadowy corners of our lives. Swallowing our emotions until they escape our awareness doesn’t always lead to a diagnosable condition.

But it can. Depression affects every part of us, body, mind, and soul, although it doesn’t always look like we expect. The symptoms of depression in women freely run as wild as the emotions we’re capable of. So let’s talk about what some of those shadowy symptoms may look or feel like.

Cloudy Thoughts

Depression doesn’t always scream at you. Like clouds, we experience it in many shapes and intensities as it blocks the connection to our light source and filters the way we see the world. Instead of thinking of depression as storm clouds and pervasive doom, it may make more sense with your experience to consider depression as a gloom that has settled over your mind. This fog makes it difficult to:

    • Find motivation.
    • Recall trains of thought.
    • Or even connect with moments of happiness.

Other days, the storm clouds roll through. Raging thoughts and lightning strikes of guilt, fear, and pangs of worthlessness hit close to home, damaging your sense of who you are. Depression can make you feel like you don’t matter or that you shouldn’t. When it’s so cloudy inside your head, helplessness sets in, and you retain little hope for sunny weather.

Unstable Emotions

Both intensities of emotion and emptiness can be symptoms of depression in women. You may already be familiar with the classic definition of depression, where you feel profoundly sad. However, this intensity can also transfer to other emotions. Responding impulsively to something that may not ruffle you ordinarily can be confusing to manage and make you feel like a stranger in your own skin.

Intense restlessness along with feelings of anger or frustration may all be telltale signs of depression. On the flip side, depression may leave you with a jarring sense of numbness in place of emotions you’ve felt pretty consistently. And it’s not just those happy emotions that may suddenly feel inaccessible. We expect to feel unhappy in depression — we’re practically conditioned to it.

It’s the sense of feeling numb that really can drive us to madness. If you’re struggling to feel frustration for something that’s always bothered you, or you aren’t feeling passionately engaged in causes that once meant a lot to you, it may be depression. Feeling empty and untouched by powerful emotions can signify that it’s time to explore what’s going on at a deeper level. 

Our Body in Pain

The hurt that so often goes hand-in-hand with depression doesn’t just apply to your heart or the way your thoughts feel inside your head. Perhaps that nagging muscle cramp or the stomach ache you can’t shake doesn’t really have anything to do with the way you’ve been treating your body (though please treat your body with kindness, it’s important). Depression can cause physical symptoms like headaches, nausea, joint pain, cramps, and maybe the culprit of what you’re experiencing.

Depression can settle in the physical body just as much as it can invade our thoughts. The mind is a powerful and inventive thing, and persistent aches and pains can result from our attempts to ignore it. When we don’t heed our emotional signs of distress, the body will whisper what the mind pushes away in a manner that you can no longer ignore. Your body may change in response to how depression feels. You may gain or lose weight, and your appetite will fluctuate. You may feel extra tired or entirely unable to sleep.

One Size Does Not Fit All

Though pop culture and media essentially paint a singular image of what depression looks like, many variables may present from woman to woman. While those depictions of sadness, lethargy, and withdrawal may be accurate for several depressive experiences, they are not the only presentation.

Depression can look like overachieving, never sleeping, always doing, or constantly ‘on.’ It may even look like wildly swinging between them. Not only can the symptoms of depression themselves differ, but the length of them, as well as their intensity, can vary.

Healing Symptoms of Depression in Women

The most consistent thing about depression is that it’s inconsistent. Symptoms vary across many extremes in nearly every facet of who you are. It is crucial to remember that no matter how depression invades your body or your thoughts, you are not your depression any more than the sky is the weather. Please pay attention to your symptoms and try not to discount them.

Seeking support for your depression is the most reliable way to manage the symptoms and move toward a life with more predictable weather systems. When depression symptoms cloud your skies, you are not alone. Here at Villa Kali Ma, when your depression coincides with addiction, we will help you build shelter until the storm passes and even embrace the battery for the new life it brings.

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Wellness

Suicide and Overdose in a Post-COVID World

Fatal drug overdoses have claimed the lives of more than half a million people in the last decade alone. Faced now with the coronavirus pandemic, the threat is only growing. The pandemic has led to increased experiences of isolation, economic pressure, and family conflict that, among other factors, exacerbate suicides and drug overdose rates. However, despite these problems, there is healing to be found, especially when we’re brave enough to ask for the help that we need.

The Other Crisis

United States suicide rates and drug overdoses have risen steadily since the 1990s. Just a few years ago, suicide was the 10th leading cause of death, and in 2018, suicide reached its highest peak since the 1940s. Whether purposeful or accidental, drug overdoses are a direct descendant of addictive behaviors that existed long before the pandemic.

In a year like 2020, where the COVID-19 pandemic has exacerbated many of the problems that lead to suicide and drug overdoses, we must come to terms with the greater spiritual struggle that exists from our collective experience of stress, depression, and heartache, and the healing that we must seek to overcome these issues.
–

″ When it is darkest, we can see the stars. ″
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—  RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Suicide and COVID-19

Social distancing guidelines have made it difficult for many who already struggled with substances or their mental health to maintain a sense of normalcy. For many of us, the distractions that work and community involvement provided helped ease some of the negative and anxious thoughts buzzing around in our heads.

Now, asked to stay alone with our thoughts, our minds are laid bare, and having to confront those demons on our own became all too much. This has been a tough year for all of us, and we do not need an expert opinion to tell us that the pandemic has worsened a lot of the conditions that lead people to end their own lives.

Since the pandemic began, more people have reported having symptoms of anxiety and depression. More people have turned to drugs and alcohol to cope, and more people have thought about or considered suicide. Indeed, the actual number of suicides sky-rocketed this year.

Drug Overdoses and COVID-19

The number of drug overdoses has also been affected by social distancing guidelines. When you think about it from the perspective of addiction, isolation is the last thing a person in recovery needs — the disease of addiction is already isolating enough. For many who rely on support groups or other forms of socialization to help them recover, the pandemic presents a significant interruption to their progress. In the months since the pandemic began, both fatal and non-fatal overdoses have increased by 20% since 2019.

According to the American Medical Association, the opioid crisis has worsened because of the pandemic; over 40 states have reported higher deaths related to opioids. Moreover, the number of first-time substance users has also increased. More people are being driven to drug use due to stress, economic uncertainty, the fatigue of staying indoors, and relationship conflicts. And the unfortunate issue is that drug use causes many other physical, emotional, and mental issues that are difficult to get rid of.

Domestic Violence and COVID-19

As our mission is rooted in helping women, it’s important to acknowledge another stressor caused by the pandemic that affects women throughout the country. Although the pandemic’s initial part was a breath of fresh air for many couples, as time went on, spending all their time together led some couples to arguing, fighting, and violence. Unsurprisingly, domestic violence cases have increased this year. However, because incidents are often under-reported, the actual number is likely much higher.

By August of this year, domestic violence reports had increased by 76%. Six months later, we are probably still facing the same or a more significant challenge. Some experts say that orders to stay at home may have inadvertently locked the abused with their abuser, creating a nightmare scenario for some women in our country. Like other traumatic occurrences, domestic violence takes up residence in the heart of its survivors, causing feelings of helplessness and depression and often leads to addiction development.

Healing in the Face of COVID-19

The pandemic has caused a rupture in our lives, and there’s no doubt about that. For some of us, the struggle is more pronounced, and the stress and uncertainty drive some to deal with their pain through drugs or contemplating suicide. However, there is help out there if you seek it. At Villa Kali Ma, we emphasize healing the mind, body, and spirit to tackle the root problems of substance abuse and co-occurring mental health issues.

More than ever, we need to surround ourselves with like-minded wisdom seekers. We believe that healing within a community strengthens our resilience for changes that afflict our daily lives, especially during the pandemic. By becoming more aware of who you are, you will learn to see your life as the treasure it is, like a garden that grows beautifully under a pulsating sun. We can teach you to recognize the garden within and show you how to tend it.

Categories
Mental Health

Tiny Habits to Boost Your Recovery That You Can Start Today

I was anxiously lamenting all the little fires in my life to a friend over tea recently.

“There’s so much, and I don’t even know where to begin. How do you rebuild everything from nothing?” I cried out, having talked myself into a frenzy at the sheer magnitude of the pressures I faced.

She regarded me with a steady gaze, “Well, how do you eat an elephant?”

She paused.

“One bite a time.”

Her silly and slightly disturbing mental image filled my mind, and close on its heels was the heavyweight of realization. Nothing needs to be solved in one fell swoop. Tiny habits, not massive overhauls, are the first steps to sustainable change. Through goal setting with bite-sized chunks of life’s elephants, you can (and will!) overcome them.

Start now.

New Year’s Resolutions have this way of making us feel prepared. Outlines and action plans can give us an illusion of control over our success. But often, when we start them, we become paralyzed by the magnitude of change and quit. In fact, the enthusiastic hope-plan-doom cycle of a resolution contributes to failure almost 80% of the time.

Take charge of your time, boost your recovery and your future. There is no perfect moment coming that will unlock your success, but every step forward will benefit you. Make it a habit to start now, not in five minutes or five days, to reap big rewards.

Prioritize yourself.

Establishing a habit is a commitment. Most often, the hardest ones to keep are the “To me; Love, me” kind. The ones that benefit you and are led by your action. It can feel selfish and like an indulgence. But it is not. Making yourself a priority is the gift that keeps on giving.

Allow space for the things you want and need, then hold that space for them. Make this your first tiny habit, as it will be the key to ensuring you do not slip into harmful coping mechanisms when those wants and needs are ignored.

Small but mighty change.

When you feel untethered, handing over your power can be a struggle, but it’s not always necessary. Cliché as it sounds, sustainability must begin from the inside out. Many mini-mind shifts will produce powerful results without involving anyone but you.

The holistic healing staff at Villa Kali Ma suggest incorporating into your daily schedule little habits like mindful breathing, a short yoga flow, or reframing the words and emotions you use to express yourself. These can offer small shifts with a big influence. Other small but mighty changes you can make are:

    • Offer kindness to others when you are feeling low.
    • Google something interesting. Anything, really, but learning something new can productively engage your mind.
    • Start your day with a glass of water.
    • However, feels good to you. Just get your thoughts out on paper for a few minutes every day.

Think about it.

It seems so simple, but how often do you take the time to sit with an idea and flesh it out? Spend time with those ideas (even the worries). Take inventory of them, and process them accordingly. Intrusive thoughts can feel intense, even when they’re good ones. We are often told to stop the spirals in our heads.

What if sometimes the answer is thinking them through?
To pause and give them space.

Use a timer to give yourself a structured few minutes. Then pause and consider as many of those loose ends as you can. Spend time with the thought in its entirety, even if it’s uncomfortable. This tiny habit of giving yourself permission to pause and make space for your thoughts and feelings can have powerful results, and the cue is already ingrained when you feel that building push of an idea, pause.

Lean on experts.

Tiny Habits aficionado BJ Fogg has a reputation you can rely on- and you should. With more than two decades of research into a sustainable life change, Dr. Fogg supports small changes to make the most impact. Fogg suggests getting highly specific to optimize the prompt you’ll use to engage it.  Using the combined force of motivation, ability, and a prompt within a moment, you can establish a behavior. Boost your recovery by allowing it to motivate you.

Set your habits with intention and specificity, but don’t eat your elephant in one big gulp. Small bites, tiny habits, and consistent effort toward your end goal will move you steadily toward it. Allow expertise to strengthen your resolve and support the habits you put into motion right now. If you find you need some assistance to boost your recovery or begin your healing journey, Villa Kali Ma offers a holistic program that supports setting goals and teaches mindfulness practices.

Contact us today to learn more about sustainable recovery and the life change available to you when you are in a supportive environment like Villa Kali Ma.

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