Author: VKM

Categories
Mental Health

How Can Women Overcome Guilt and Shame in Recovery?

Shame and guilt are some of the most difficult emotions we experience. It is very distressing to feel like we don’t deserve love and belonging, or that we have been very bad and need to be punished for it.

Women are especially prone to guilt and shame, in part because many aspects of our nature, qualities we cannot help but embody, are looked down upon by the larger culture. Guilt and shame are also residues of traumatization, to which women are more vulnerable.

In this post, we at Villa Kali Ma will look closer at guilt and shame, and how recovering women can learn to transmute and transform them into healthier energies.

What is the difference between guilt and shame?

In popular psychology, the difference between guilt and shame is offered as “I did something bad” (guilt) versus “I am bad” (shame).

Guilt is more limited, and it suggests a different choice could be made in the future. A sincere apology and changed behavior can and often does repair a past mistake. Shame is more condemning and final, conferring the sensation that no matter what we do, we will always be bad.

Shame is, curiously, not absolved with a sincere apology or changed behavior. We continue to be convinced that we are rotten to the core, even when we behave like good people. When someone says to us, “I see you as a kindhearted person”, we think, “You don’t know the real me”.

Another way to look at the difference is to say that guilt centers on a specific action we did, a choice we made, an event or sequence of events limited to their own time and place. Guilt has a time stamp, and may be healed with time. Shame is boundless and forever, therefore that much harder for the human soul to bear.

What is the connection between guilt, shame, and addiction?

Shame and guilt are primary sources of addiction. They are very painful feelings to sustain over time, and shame in particular is noted to be highly correlated with addiction.

Children who grow up in shame-based family systems, where punishment and disapproval are dispensed in response to “who you are” rather than “what you decided to do” have many emotional problems they must learn to overcome through life.

For those of us raised in the shame mindset, a life-long sense of unworthiness accompanies us and must be dealt with in every scenario.

When we fail in life in some instance, which life gives us many opportunities to do, then that failure is not a reflection of specific actions we took, which we might learn from, and do better next time, let alone a reflection of the situation being challenging, but instead confirmation of our unworthiness.

Negative results seem typical of us, rather than typical of such situations. Shame makes everything personal. We become self-absorbed and narcissistic by way of shame, not because we love ourselves, rather because we cannot find anything inside of us to love. Shame is linked to despair and hopelessness.

Guilt, while it is easier to tolerate than shame because it contains a shred of hope that we could behave differently next time, is also fairly toxic.

Guilt implies responsibility, and false responsibility is easily transferred in dysfunctional families. When a small child is blamed for what other people are actually responsible for, for example, the child’s development is arrested by this inappropriate weight of responsibility. This easily happens when a child is made to feel unduly responsible for their parents’ feelings, such as Dad’s irritability or Mom’s sadness.

One reason the child is arrested in her development by being blamed is the fact that the child isn’t actually the origin of the parental stress or failure, and can be confused for the rest of her life about how her own actions do and don’t lead to effects in the world.

Both guilt and shame are precursors of addiction and are further amplified by addiction. Addiction compels people to behave in ways that really do hurt others, which creates more guilt. Addiction is also highly pathologized, moralized, and misunderstood, so it is easy for someone who has an addiction to feel that they are unworthy of love, approval, and connection.

Why do women sometimes feel guilty in recovery?

When we get sober, we have to look at all the things we did while we were under the spell of addiction. It’s never pretty. It’s disturbing and upsetting, and it represents a crisis of identity: if I did all that, how can I also still be a good person? Do I really deserve love and belonging? And if we have a core of shame to begin with, well, we knew it all along that we were bad, and this just proves it.

The good news is, that through the portal of this personal crisis, we have the opportunity to discover true, and genuinely unconditional self-love and self-forgiveness which extends far beyond any love we have known before.

We realize that all the pain we shared with the world was not ours alone to begin with. How did that pain get into us in the first place? We begin to understand how the wounds of others caused them to behave in ways that wounded us. Not because we were bad, not even because we did something bad, but because of things that happened to them that broke their hearts and spirits, long ago, by someone else entirely.

If we want to stop spreading this ancient pain around, we have to heal it within ourselves, which means to restore our original innocence and goodness.

Why do women sometimes feel shame in recovery?

Women feel shame in recovery because it is hard not to identify with the addict we have been. Because the addict within is amoral, selfish, hurtful, and destructive, we think that that is who we are.

All the evidence suggests this is so. The people we hurt tell us we are hurtful people. After all, who else is to blame? We may try for a while, to blame anyone or anything else for our use, but in the end, we know it is us, and no other, who can genuinely be held accountable.

An extraordinary opportunity lies in this pain, which is that we can break the basic pattern of ego-identification. Without lessening responsibility – after all, it is only we who can let the addict in the door of our personal being, or keep that door shut – we can understand that while addiction itself is a very, very negative thing, we are not our addiction.

Addiction is an illness, which can take hold of a person. That is all. No more, and no less, than a serious, but totally impersonal, kind of madness.

Villa Kali Ma can assist women in overcoming guilt and shame in recovery

At Villa Kali Ma, we offer a healing program for women to recover from addiction, mental illness, and trauma, which includes effective clinical modalities from the West in tandem with enduring holistic modalities like yoga, Ayurveda, and acupuncture.

Healing guilt and shame are top priorities for any woman on a recovery path because these two toxic emotions are the gatekeepers that guard the exit out of hell.

If you are ready to find out how each of these gatekeepers can be transformed into the positive guardians of innocence, kindness, and self-loving humility, reach out to see if we might be the right place for you to do your healing work!

Categories
Recovery

How to Combat Isolation in Recovery

There are times when to be alone is just what the doctor ordered. To sit in a well of presence in the simplicity of solitude is necessary at times, to replenish the spirit and body. This kind of aloneness is luminous and full, allowing us to connect more deeply and enjoyably to all of life.

On the other hand, there’s a kind of aloneness that comes from being walled off in a bad way, inside the confines of the injured self. When we go into solitude not to be more lovingly with ourselves, but rather out of pain, shame, or fear, or because we are listening to the lies of the inner addict who hopes to take possession of us again, then we are going into shadowlands. From this kind of isolation, we can’t connect with anybody or anything, not even ourselves.

How does this kind of isolation come over us, and what can we do about it? Read on for Villa Kali Ma’s take on how to overcome isolation, through a positive path of recovery.

How is isolation defined?

When we’re isolating, we stop communicating with others. We don’t reach out, and frequently, don’t respond to the outreach of others. We skip meetings, don’t return calls, don’t answer the door, and duck away when we see someone we know at the grocery store.

As a general rule, recovering people need daily contact with recovery people. Ideally, we open and close each day with a re-dedication to the recovery path. Sharing our feelings, telling on the addict, and doing step work with a sponsor are all necessities of sustaining the gift of sobriety, and these all require another live recovery person on the line or with us in the room. It takes a lot of action on our part, especially in the early days, to put ourselves in the right conditions and circumstances for the many blessings, miracles, and gifts of recovery to take root in us.

Isolation in recovery is a sign that the inner addict is on the prowl, hoping to pull us back into a relationship with it, in which its dark voice is the only thing we hear any more. Therefore part of recovery usually involves taking action steps to counteract the urge to avoid other recovery people. If you are isolating, we suggest you get into the presence of recovery people again, right away.

Tips on how to combat isolation in recovery

To overcome the urge to isolate in recovery, it’s helpful to take an “act now, ask questions later” approach, and just do the recommended recovery behaviors, whether we feel like it or not.

In the beginning, and during any other wobbly phase, we need to just take the actions that recovery elders suggest, without thinking about it too hard. We act as if, we fake it ’til we make it, we one day at a time it, because we’re in no condition to be deciding based on our thoughts and feelings.

So rather than consulting our mood, energy levels, thoughts, and feelings, asking “Do I feel like going to a meeting?”, we need to just get our shoes on and go. Get there early, set up chairs, and override the ego.

The reason is, it’s far better just to follow the plan, for a good long while, while we are being gradually restored to sanity because if we go off the plan, it’s almost certainly for the wrong reasons.

Take heart that at some point later on in the path, we will have more trust in ourselves again, and that the flame of the addict will be small compared to the roaring fire of our real, positive, loving self. But until that time, we are best off just following the recovery recipe.

In that spirit, here are some practical steps to take if you are isolating:

  1. Daily Meetings. Commit to daily meetings for a predetermined period of time. 30, 60, or 90-day meeting commitments are always powerful for breaking isolation.
  2. Get a Sponsor and work the Steps. If you don’t have one yet or don’t have one right now, share in meetings that you are looking for a sponsor. Working the steps will break the ice barrier that isolation has formed, and get you back into flowing emotion and aliveness.
  3. Recovery friend-dates. Go for coffee with recovery people. Do it whether you feel resonance with this person or not. The purpose isn’t so much to make best friends, but to counteract the urge to isolate. Remember, being around any other authentic recovery person will weaken your addiction and strengthen your true self.
  4. Use the meeting phone numbers list. Every meeting, put your name on the list to receive calls and make sure you get numbers. At least once a week, call someone from recovery circles, to connect and talk. Leave voice messages if they don’t pick up, and respond to any messages you receive, always.
  5. Schedule professional help. Schedule appointments with a therapist, counselor, or healing professional and talk about your isolating.

What is the connection between isolation and addiction?

Addiction thrives on isolation. While in the grips of addiction, we were almost completely separated psychologically from others, living in a fake world created for us by our disordered minds.

Authentic connection with another human being is the inner addict’s worst nightmare. The addict within will do everything it can to keep us away from genuine, truthful, loving presence in a human body. The addict within prefers isolation, or if others must be involved at all, the presence of other addicted, disconnected people.

That’s because the illness of addiction is connected to the artificial, programmed mental self, whose goal is disconnection. Addiction thrives inside the prison of our ego defenses. The fort we built for ourselves, originally as a trauma response, then reinforced through a lifetime of dissociating from our feelings and true perceptions of unity, is also the house of the negative ego, and therefore the house of the addict.

In the absence of addiction, we can, if we pay attention, sense the false mask of the conditioned self and not be completely identified with it. We can still feel the deeper murmurings of the living self and heart. But when addiction takes hold, we become the mask, and the true Self is fully eclipsed until we get into recovery.

Once we are in recovery, therefore, it is wise to recall that isolation, even if it seems easy, or comforting, like getting back into a small cozy space, is an invitation back to the locked ward of addiction.

Why do women isolate in recovery?

Isolation in recovery refers to the urge to seclude oneself to avoid other recovery people. Why do women do this, if it’s so clearly the path back to misery?

If we are observing ourselves keenly, we may detect that what we resist in recovery people is actually the awareness that they have. Recovery people have opened eyes that see and recognize the machinations of shadow material operating within us.

In addition to the addict trying to operate undetected, our own shame, guilt, and remorse can make the light of recognition feel like a flashlight shining into our eyes. When the pain is too much, a part of us may try to wriggle away from being seen. We may not catch it, though, due to rationalization, in which the mind makes up stories that cover up the real reasons we are isolating.

Here are some ways the urge to isolate may show up:

-A feeling of strong irritation with everything about recovery and the recovery community

-The thought that people in the recovery community judge us or look down on us

-A feeling of not belonging, being different, and misunderstood by the recovery community

-Thinking that we are being excluded, we aren’t liked, or that there’s an in-group

-Thoughts that emphasize the ways we differ from the recovery people around us, versus focus on the shared reason we are together

-Getting overly offended by something someone said to us in a meeting, and using that as an excuse to distance ourselves

-Starting to think we’re all better and know better than the people in the recovery community

-We think we can’t share our darkness or the other way around – we can’t share our light, in this group

Whatever combination of ego-defenses, inferiority, self-doubt, pain, and weaponized victimhood has most haunted us in our lives, will return again, suggesting we get away from those recovery circles.

Part of the reason this can happen is because we are extra raw in early recovery, and in truth, it can be a lot. It’s scary and different to recover, and we are learning many new skills. We feel shaky and uncertain inside.

That is all ok, and it is normal to feel that way, but we must look out to keep leaning into that vulnerable, quaky space, rather than running away. What helps lessen the urge to run is relentless honesty: as we keep sharing as authentically as we can about the truth of our experiences, we will find the need to escape lessens on its own.

Why women were made for connection

All human beings are wired for connection. We are social animals, and we feel best in families, groups, and communities of safe others. Everything about our nervous systems and our survival strategies reveals the fact that we are designed to live our lives in relative harmony and collaboration with other humans.

As women, we are especially wired for emotional connection, as evidenced in our biology. Hormonally speaking, we are set up to be oriented towards nurturance, bonding, and caring for others, as well as receiving care. Emotionally and relationally we are more prone to value close relationships. Women are, broadly speaking, more attuned to the subtleties of connection and disconnection, and to the needs of those we consider to be part of our sphere of influence.

For all these reasons, it is especially important that women in recovery learn to counteract the toxic urge to isolate: isolation may hurt us even more than it does men.

Recovery is the antidote to isolation

Isolation and addiction go together, and the pain of one is supposedly treated by the numbing of the other. Because the addict wants to grow in influence inside us, it steers us into greater and greater isolation, so that it has even more reason to expand its territory within us.

On the flip side, recovery from addiction cures isolation. This is a beautiful secondary outcome, which we may not have fully considered before getting into recovery, but it is true.

As we slowly heal over the many scars of addiction, we find that in place of the old negative self, who has been our prison guard our whole lives, we have now a loving kind inner guardian. This inner guardian, whom we gradually realize, with astonishment, is our own self, who we actually were meant to be all this time, connects to the goodness and love in another, not to the negative false self in another.

Whereas in the past we connected phantom false self to phantom false self, mask to mask, and disordered mind to disordered mind, if we connected at all, we now find that we connect heart to heart, realness to realness.

If this sounds like something you want, please know that you deserve it, no less and no more than any other being in this world. It is actually our natural birthright and the way life was meant to be!

Recovery will lead you to this place of deep, quenching connection, not only with other people but to that within you, which is worth connecting with. Your healing self-connection proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, to yourself, at last, why others connecting to you is a good thing, and you will be freed of the feeling that there is something bad about you.

Villa Kali Ma can help women combat isolation in recovery

All of life exists in a back-and-forth rhythm of union and separating. We come together, then we come apart. Into the sweet bliss of oneness, then away into the sweet fierce joys of individuality.

The difference between healthy solitude, in which we have the possibility of deep intimacy with ourselves and with subtle energetic presences which can only be contacted from within our own heart space, and the poisons of isolation, is all the difference in the world.

Isolating means that we retreat into our own pathology, not so that we can be alone with ourselves and connect more deeply, but rather so that we can be alone with the addict inside, and disconnect more deeply.

Here at Villa Kali Ma, we have a deep understanding of the subtleties, as well as the simple truths, of how isolation divides us from that which would heal us, and how recovery does the opposite. If you are looking to reunite yourself with the goodness that is, we promise, lying in wait so patiently inside you, consider one of our many programs for healing women. Our expertise is exactly this: how exactly women can and do recover, from the nightmares of addiction, mental illness, and traumatization.

Categories
Mental Health

How to Deal with Depression During the Holidays

What is holiday depression?

Holiday depression is another name for the blues, a special kind that comes around starting with Thanksgiving and peaking around Christmastime or New Year. The melancholy among us can have a rough go over these weeks, and even the cheeriest among us might feel it too.

There are many reasons why the holidays surface emotional pain. The stress of travel, end-of-year work deadlines, finances, and pressures of hosting and attending family gatherings are all valid reasons that some women find this to be a demanding time of the year.

Whatever your feelings are, trust us, if you’re not feeling merry, it’s ok. We get it.

What are the causes of holiday depression?

Holiday depression can be caused by any number of things. The most common sources are pre-existing mental health conditions, substance abuse history, seasonal affective disorder, stress, grief, and financial trouble.

Here are three additional ways to think about the holiday blues.

1. Compare and Despair

The holidays can highlight ways in which we feel we aren’t up to snuff. Someone else’s job, children, house, appearance, whatever, can steal away our own sorely-needed self-approval.

A little cure for this holiday blues-maker:

Write up a list of everything you are proud of yourself for, large and small. Acknowledge yourself, for your courage, your best intentions, and all that could be looked upon kindly and lovingly. Put the list in your purse and take it with you to your gathering. In a moment when you need it, go to the bathroom and read your list to yourself.


2. Boundaries and Depression

Due to stress, limited time and space, and large groups of people, something will probably happen during this season that crosses our boundaries. We will feel, whether we recognize it or not, angry.

Depending on our anger skills, we may lash out (saying something we regret, for example), or feel guilty about our anger and turn it inward. The latter will instantly create depression.

How can we stay in witness observer mode as much as we can, taking note that we are angry or that we feel our boundaries are being crossed, and yet not turn against ourselves?

A little cure for this holiday blues-maker:

Choose a subtle, self-soothing action that you will do every time you notice crossed boundaries. For example, you could wrap the fingers of your right hand around the thumb of your left hand and hold it for as long as twelve full breaths.

This is a little body-energy hack that will activate the parasympathetic nervous system and help you stay calm, but also soothe yourself. If you know something positive that will work better than this, good! Do that instead.


3. Stress

Finally, it seems pat, but stress is really bad for humans! Like anger, stress needs to be released almost immediately from the body or it turns into depression or physical illness.

Everyone knows the holidays are stressful, whether it’s because of financials, getting gifts in time, managing family schedules, finishing work projects before the end of the year, being responsible for cooking and hosting, or just the horrors of winter travel. So what could you do to prevent stress from turning toxic for you?

A little cure for this holiday blues-maker:

Pre-plan what you will do every time you notice a stress spike, whether in the weeks during the run-up to the holidays or during the actual days. For example, you could pause to do four rounds of box breathing. Box breathing is like this: four-count breath in, four-count hold, four-count breath out, four-count hold; and all of that four times total.

Again, maybe you have a better hack. Would you rather stop what you’re doing for a 5-minute stretch break? Dance break? Step-outside break? The important point is to plan to use a specific tool and use it.

What is the difference between holiday and seasonal depression?

Seasonal affective disorder is connected to all times of the year in which there is a lack of sunlight and would be diagnosed no matter when it shows up. Holiday depression is linked specifically to the winter holidays themselves. Both of them have similar symptoms, of what would ordinarily be diagnosed as depression, including lowered mood, lowered energy, and bleak thoughts.

The connection between preexisting mental illness and holiday depression

It’s not fair, but it makes sense, that people who already have depression or another mental illness, tend to feel it extra during the holidays.

Whether it’s because so much of our mental illness is tied up with family topics, because the winter offers less of the healing relief of sun and outside time or another reason, the connection between the winter holidays and an uptick in mental health symptoms is strong.

This is especially true of the period of time after the holidays themselves, such as the latter days of December or the first days of the new year.

What are signs of depression in women?

Women and men show their depression slightly differently. Men may show their depression more in behavioral terms, for example by isolating, and to experience it more consciously as negative outlook and bleak thoughts about the world. Women may be more likely to feel their depression emotionally, as sadness, and to cry and to feel bad about themselves.

For both, depression is about feeling low, in terms of mood and energy, and is often paired with stopping certain activities that made us feel good. There are many vicious cycles paired with depression, such as eating food that makes us feel worse, poor sleep patterns that give us even less energy, skipping exercise routines so our endorphin levels drop even lower, and overindulging in entertainment, which makes us feel even less connected with what matters in life.

Common signs of depression are:

  • Appetite changes, including weight gain or weight loss
  • Loss of enjoyment in hobbies or creative activities
  • Feeling very exhausted, needing to oversleep, or be physically lazy (beyond normal levels of winter laziness)
  • Moodiness, crying, feeling sad, and thinking about the past too much
  • Crying without really understanding why you’re crying or what you’re sad about
  • Negative thoughts about yourself and your future

How to cope with holiday depression

Why not make a plan for coping with holiday depression? If you don’t end up needing it, great, but if you do, you’ll be happy you had enough self-love and foresight to prepare.

We suggest the following ideas be part of your holiday self-care plan:

1. Exercise, exercise, exercise

Exercise is nature’s most potent antidepressant, right here in our own bodies. It’s so simple it’s silly: if we just move (enough to get sweaty and energized), we’ll feel better.

What can you do to make sure vigorous exercise is part of your holiday season?

Our suggestion is to commit to some kind of daily challenge, such as 30 yoga sessions in 30 days, or to make December your month of dancing til you’re sweaty, once every day. Exercise doesn’t have to take all that much time – just 20 minutes of HIIT or another activity that gets you sweaty and out of breath will give you a cascade of good feelings.


2. Go outside every day for 20 minutes

Nature is also nature’s most potent antidepressant! (It’s a tie with exercise). Find a way to be around plants, gardens, trees, beaches, mountains – whatever you have.

20 minutes outside in the natural light, air, and sounds of nature will deal a powerful blow to the holiday blues. If you have to put on rain boots, lots of sweaters, or a giant jacket and it seems exhausting to do even just that – good. Fighting some opposition for the sake of your happiness actually helps create happiness.


3. Go to Meetings

If you are new to 12-Step, why not make this the year you find out what all the good fuss is about? If you’re not new, then you know why this tip works.

There are 12-step meetings for nearly every kind of trouble, and all of them have Christmas Day meeting marathons.

For those of us with addictions, there are the classics: AA, NA, PA, and so on.

For those of us with food issues, codependency, or love addiction, we have options too.

Finally, 12-step programs exist even just for helping us deal with our emotions. Isn’t that amazing?

You don’t have to identify fully with the description to get the benefit of attending, just go with a spirit of curiosity and open-heartedness. Sit close to the warm fire of honesty-based heart connection offered in these groups.

Managing and coping with stress

Managing stress has two aspects. One is ordering your life so that it unfolds in a less stressful way, and the second is to provide yourself with mechanisms for releasing stress (detoxifying and relaxing the body).

We suggest you do both. Here is our guide to managing tasks so that your life feels less stressful, in the first place!

Project Manage Your Holiday Season

This process, called Personal Kanban, can save your sanity. If this is hard to get from reading, there are short videos online. It’s worth a look up – it’s actually really simple.  Here’s our explanation:

Step 1: Collect Your To-Dos

On Post-its or small slips of paper, brain dump all the things that need to be done (one to-do item per Post-it or slip of paper).


Step 2: Order and Prioritize Tasks in A Visible Way

Somewhere you can see it easily, such as on a whiteboard, corkboard, or just a big piece of paper taped to the wall, make three columns into which you can divide your tasks. These three columns are: To Do, Doing, and Done.

Start with putting all your post-its/tasks into the To Do column. Place the tasks in that column, in order of priority and actionability. The tasks which are most ready to be tackled right now are most towards the top of the list, and anything which is bigger or needs more time will be more towards the bottom.

For example, “Christmas present for Brian” might be above, “Last grocery store run before Christmas” for chronological reasons, and “Christmas present for Brian” might be below “Respond to Molly’s email” because email is easy and can be done right away.

The most time-sensitive and important tasks, but which are actionable, are the tasks that should be towards the top. If a task is time-sensitive but doesn’t feel actionable, try breaking it down into smaller chunks of task and see if that helps.

For example, maybe “Get presents for everyone” is too big to be completed as one task, whereas “Order coffee maker for Jake” is a tiny task that surely could be done right now.


Step 3: Move Tasks through the Pipeline

Now begin tackling your tasks. The way to do this is to take a limited number of tasks from the big, first To-Do column, and move them into the Doing column.

Only put the number of tasks that you think you can get done now or in this particular window of task-doing. The Doing column should never have too much in it at once, literally only the tasks you are essentially doing right now, which will be completed shortly.

Every time you have time to work on your tasks, clear the items in your Doing column, moving them into the third column, Done. When your Doing column is empty, take a few more from the To Do column, reordering and shifting remaining tasks, as well as adding new ones to that column, as needed.

 

This little life hack goes a long way!

More about this process can be found on this website.

When is it time to seek professional help?

If you’re suffering, get help. There is nothing wrong with getting help, in fact, it can also be considered the kindest thing you could do for everyone else, to take care of yourself first. No one does well when any one of us is not ok, that is a universal truth, though it takes a whole lifetime to learn it.

If you know the holidays are hard for you, then do yourself and everyone else a solid and talk to a professional healer or therapist about it. Short-term help for getting through a season is something that can be done any time.

If addiction is on the table, and you’re worried you’ll slip, then take action and get help right away, because relapse is a serious world of hurt for you and your loved ones, both.

Much heartache can be avoided by having enough self-love to prioritize how you feel over all the other expectations that may be loaded onto the holidays.

You do matter, dear reader, enough to protect and support. We can tell you that without even knowing who you are.

Villa Kali Ma can help women overcome holiday depression and enjoy this holiday season

Villa Kali Ma helps women recover from the many miseries of addiction, mental health disorders, and trauma.

We use clinically effective, evidence-based treatment models and alternative holistic practices such as yoga, mindfulness, and nutrition, integrated together as one treatment course. We treat each woman as the individual she is and approach healing with sensitivity, compassion, and a wakeful heart.

The holidays are hard for many of our clients, and we’re prepared to help. If you’re staring down some darkness that you don’t have the heart to face alone this season, then come to us and we’ll do it together. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Either way, we send you our biggest wishes for sane, healthy holidays, dear readers!

Categories
Sobriety

A Guide to Staying Sober During the Holidays

For some women in recovery, the holidays represent pressure, stress, and temptations. We understand why!

Here at Villa Kali Ma, though, we’re of the opinion that women can have genuine, heartfelt fun during this season of celebrations, all without drugs, alcohol, or drama.

Read on for our considered thoughts on how to stay sober, and truly enjoy the beauty and meaning of the season of lights.

How to Stay Sober During the Holidays: A Guide

Staying sober starts with the intention to stay sober. Let’s start here: what are your intentions for this upcoming holiday season? We suggest identifying a few sobriety intentions right now, before reading any further.

I intend to…

For each of your intentions, add a “because”. A powerful why goes a long way. Why do you intend what you intend?

I intend to stay sober, because…

Why is it difficult to stay sober during the holidays?

The holidays can challenge our commitment to sobriety and other positive intentions. Here are a couple of reasons why that’s the case:

Stress

The holidays are notoriously stressful. Stress weakens our immunity, not only physically, but also emotionally, mentally, and energetically. We don’t feel as stable, and outside influences affect us more.


People

Being around more people than we’re used to, people we haven’t seen in a while, people who are drinking, or people we associate with difficult feelings and experiences from the past, are all ways that our sobriety can be tested. There’s nothing wrong with being close with people, of course, but as recovering addicts we need an extra shield around our energy.


Distraction

When we travel from our home base, have people staying with us, or participate in seasonal gatherings, there’s a greater possibility of unexpected encounters, surprise events, and other ways we can get distracted and derailed from our intentions.


Trauma Triggers

Depending on our personal history, the relative consciousness levels of our family of origin, and when in the year certain events that hurt us in the past took place, the holidays can be a yearly chance to revisit our core wounds and life themes.


Depletion of Energy

It is a natural effect of the darkening hours and the holidays’ position as a marker of a year’s end, that we may arrive at the holidays already feeling a bit tired out from all we have been working hard to accomplish during the year, including our work we put in for our sobriety. It is a potential risk factor to keep in mind, that we are just plumb tired before the holidays even begin.

What should a woman in recovery do if she is feeling triggered to relapse?

So, what to do if one of the above scenarios gets you, and you realize you’re triggered to relapse?

1: Name It to Tame It

Tell someone right away that you’re triggered to drink or use. Ideally, call a sponsor, or a stably sober recovery friend. To prepare in advance for using this tool, have several numbers in your phone already. It helps even just to leave a voicemail.

The next best thing is tell someone near you. “I am experiencing cravings to drink but I don’t want to, I want to be sober.” It is the truth itself, and your willingness to tell on the addict within you, to disregard embarrassment and ego and fight for your life instead, which will save you.


2: Get out of There

Leave the room, or maybe even the whole event. If the substance you are addicted to is there, and you’re tempted to use, just leave. No one can put that substance in your body but you, if you’re not there, it won’t happen.


3: Get to a Meeting

Get to the next possible meeting. Remember you can tune in to an online meeting from your phone while sitting in the car if you need to.


4: Get Physical

Combat the trigger by changing your body state, right away. The fastest thing you can do is vigorous exercise for a few moments, like jumping jacks, high-knee running in place, push-ups, or squats. Do this until you’re sweaty and out of breath. Don’t hurt yourself, but spend your physical energy and change your state.


5: Orient to the Here and Now

It’s important to get out of the head and into the here and now. The physical world can help you – splashing cold water on your face, stepping outside and taking several breaths of fresh air, and so on.

This trick, called 54321, is also handy:

Look around you and name 5 things you can see, with an adjective of some kind: (Turquoise lamp, bushy palm tree, shiny water bottle…).

Listen for 4 things you can hear (soft-sounding wind in the trees, regular ticking of my watch…)

Touch 3 different material things (cool tabletop, fuzzy sweater…)

Smell 2 different things (sparkly lemon peel…)

Taste 1 thing (sweet water…)

What are tips for staying sober during the holidays?

Prevention is the best medicine. How can you plan ahead to make sure you’re not even triggered? Here are some tips from us over here at Villa Kali Ma.

30 Meetings in 30 days

The program works, as they say, if you work it. One way to make sure we do in fact work it is to pre-commit to a number of days, tell a bunch of people you’re doing that (so you can’t back out without awkwardness), and then follow through and actually do it.


Daily Contact With Your Sponsor

If you don’t have a sponsor yet, get one. A temporary sponsor will work. If you absolutely cannot find one, co-sponsor with a recovery buddy. The point is to check in daily, even if only for 5 minutes, to couch each day in sobriety-prioritizing terms.


Get A Lot of Emotional Support

Through therapy, groups, meetings, and friendships, triple up on emotional support this season. Share your feelings even when you don’t think you’re having any.


Have an Abundant, Loving, Fun Self-Care Plan

We highly recommend that you make a season-specific self-care plan that covers not only meetings and emotional support, but also diet, exercise, sleep, and sober fun. Get out your calendar for the month of December, and start breaking it down into weeks and days, making a realistic but still abundant plan of self-loving.


Schedule Sober Fun

Go to at least one sober party, do an activity you wouldn’t normally bother to do (ice skating? bowling?) with sober friends. You can initiate. It shouldn’t need to cost a lot – for example, you can try a new recipe for some seasonal cookies, buy yourself and your friends some stickers, make holiday cards together. Make it feel festive and fun, as best you can.

What are daily sobriety tips for women in recovery?

How can you stay sober every single day? Here are some tips that work on the daily level.

Daily contact with your Recovery Community

We know not everyone loves AA, and we do understand why and how that is. But the fact is, it works. You don’t have to love AA, you don’t even have to connect all that much with the people who go there (though we know you will, eventually, if you keep going) – what you have to do, to have any kind of a life worth living, is stay sober! So rely on AA for what it’s good at – helping people stay sober. Do this every single day. Daily meetings, daily sponsor contact, daily outreach to newcomers, daily time spent doing step work, all of these are powerful sobriety protectors.


Take Care of the Body

Your body is where your life is happening. Take care of it. Nourish it with healthy foods that are full of nutrients, water it, and rest it adequately. Exercise it. Soak it in the bath. Rub oils into it. Let it wiggle its toes in a material that feels good. Make sure its socks are warm. Treat it like your favorite pet.

When you love the body well, you have a much, much better chance of being happy, and therefore, having no interest whatsoever in returning to a life of misery. Do something for your body that feels like a treat and makes the body happy, every day.


Express Yourself

Use the creative voice you have been given, to express the take on life that is yours alone. It doesn’t need to be different than anyone else’s truth, it just needs to be true for you. The benevolent, loving forces of life love it when you dig deeper into the specialness of exactly who you are. Say something that’s true for you personally, every single day.

Villa Kali Ma can help women stay sober during the holidays

Villa Kali Ma provides a unique program of services to help women recover from addictions, mental health disorders, and trauma. We unite holistic approaches like yoga, Ayurveda, and breath work, with the most effective, evidence-based clinical modalities, like EMDR and dialectical behavior training (DBT).

If you’re looking for extra support staying sober, healing an old wound, or turning a new leaf this season, check us out. We’d love to work with you.

Categories
Drug Addiction

Using crystals in recovery from addiction

At Villa Kali Ma, we offer a wide variety of methods for healing from addiction. Our program is integrative in nature, acknowledging the fact that many alternative healing therapies work well together.

The core of our program is built from powerhouse evidence-based therapies that are clinically validated, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and EMDR.

Woven around this clinical core are many braids of adjunct therapies taken from ancient healing systems that are powerfully effective in their own right, such as Ayurveda, yoga, and acupuncture. These sciences have been used effectively for thousands of years.

One method we embrace is the therapeutic use of crystals. The effect of crystals is sometimes scoffed at by people who haven’t tried it. Skepticism is good, we encourage it! Always. But empiricism is also good – as in, try it and see what happens.

Through experience and observation, we here at Villa Kali Ma find crystals to be a useful tool. We also don’t find it outlandish to imagine that the same properties that make crystals useful in emitting frequency for use in an ultrasound machine, for example, might make them helpful in balancing the body’s electromagnetic field, too.

That said, we do not recommend trying to get sober using crystals alone. Addiction is a serious medical condition requiring an urgent and intensive treatment response. Getting sober requires medically supervised detox and some months of follow-up treatment in a highly structured setting.

Holistic therapies are powerful healing modalities in their own right, but they are slower and gentler approaches and do not belong as the sole tool in an emergency protocol.

Whatever has brought you to this article today, we invite you to read on, for our exploration of how crystals can be used therapeutically in the journey to recovery from addiction.

What are crystals?

Stone crystals are a type of rock, formed from minerals and combinations of minerals, occurring naturally in the wild. They are also manufactured.

What makes crystals different from other stones is that they have a lattice structure, a repeated crystalline pattern that is consistent throughout the whole stone. These patterns are often beautiful, and under a microscope, strikingly perfect, geometrical, and regular.

Gemstones are usually crystals, such as rubies, emeralds, diamonds, and sapphires. Some crystals are made from a single mineral, as diamonds are created from carbon, but many are made from combinations of minerals. Emeralds, for example, are mostly made of the mineral beryl but include also trace amounts of chromium, vanadium, and iron.

Crystals have many physical properties that contribute to their unique profile and utility in technology as well as therapeutic purposes, such as degree of lightfastness, hardness, piezoelectric effect, and electrical conductivity.

How do crystals work?

Crystals work on the body and its electromagnetic field, through their electro-magnetic conductivity.

Different crystals placed on or near the body will have different effects, either drawing small amounts of current from the human bio-field or flowing small amounts of current into it.

In the context of crystals used in healing, the unique electromagnetic profile of a specific crystal is referred to as its vibration, which determines its therapeutic use.

What are examples of healing crystals?

There are many different therapeutic effects possible through the use of crystals in healing.

The most commonly used healing crystals include clear quartz, rose quartz, selenite, turquoise, agate, amethyst, citrine, obsidian, black tourmaline, and aquamarine, just to name a few. The list of popular healing stones is long.

These crystals are used for specific effects that benefit the physical body, and/or emotional states. For example, turquoise is believed to be de-acidifying, reducing infections, digestion problems, and inflammation. Selenite is commonly used for lessening emotional pain, such as depression and anxiety.

What are the healing effects of crystals for addiction?

We include crystal therapy in our programs at Villa Kali Ma, because like massage and acupuncture, crystal healing is useful for creating safety, ease, comfort, and peace in the body. It is much easier to respond to treatment when the body is feeling safe and relatively pain-free. Crystals balance the human bio-field, creating relief from the emotional distress and physiological discomfort of withdrawal and early sobriety.

Gently stimulating energetic nodes in the body has clarifying, calming, and regulating effects for the patient, as organs that are heavily involved in negative emotions and thoughts, like the heart, lungs, and adrenals, can be corrected to a more neutral, healthful electromagnetic signature.

Healing crystals for alcohol addiction

Alcohol is a common substance of choice for women, with tragic impacts on their minds, bodies, emotions, and relationships. When a woman is recovering from addiction to alcohol, two crystals are considered to be particularly helpful, celestite and amethyst.

Named for its heavenly blue color, celestite has a relaxant, and soothing effects on the body, stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic branch of the nervous system is responsible for healing, rest, digestion, and recovering. Whenever you want to encourage the body’s self-healing mechanism, activating the parasympathetic nervous system is key.

Amethyst, a beautiful violet quartz, has been used to help with alcohol’s negative effects for thousands of years. The name comes from the Greek word amethystos, meaning “not intoxicated”. The stone was believed by the ancient Greeks to protect against inebriation.


Healing crystals for cocaine addiction

Women recovering from addiction to cocaine typically have problems with their nervous systems for a time, until they rebalance and rebuild through positive actions over a consistent period.

Since during active addiction, these women used cocaine to overstimulate their sympathetic nervous system, creating artificial energy, excitement, and euphoria, post-acute cocaine withdrawal can be a brutal climb out of a valley of low mood, low energy, and ego deflation.

Crystals that work to raise energy and un-dampen the nervous system, without overstimulating, are helpful.

Rose quartz is a pink stone with gentle stimulating effects, linked to feelings of love and connection. Citrine, a stone associated with enthusiasm and enjoyment, is used for ameliorating low mood.


Healing crystals for heroin and opioid addiction

Heroin, fentanyl, and prescription opioids are powerfully addictive because they temporarily obliterate pain, and at the same time, generate euphoria.

Withdrawal from opioids is a tough experience because it means finding healthy ways to tolerate some pain and dysphoria, during the window of time it takes your body to regenerate its natural state.

Two crystals that can be helpful during post-acute opioid withdrawal and early recovery are aquamarine and howlite.

Aquamarine is a very beautiful blue-green gemstone that helps the lungs and breath. The breath is involved with our ability to self-soothe, trigger the parasympathetic nervous system, and modulate pain both emotional and physical.  The lungs are strongly affected by opioids.

Howlite has anti-inflammatory effects, which can ease physical pain and relieve places of chronic tension that are generating headaches. It is also sedative, bringing calm and relaxation.

How do women use crystals for sobriety?

A life in sobriety has ups and downs, and crystals can help us through without using, in a few different ways.

Crystals for Boosting Mood and Energy

Crystals like jasper and blue apatite can be used to stimulate your energy to bring courage and cheer when you’re feeling discouraged or otherwise low.


Crystals For Calm and Relaxation

Crystals like rhodonite and blue lace agate soothe states of agitation and encourage strong emotions to pass out of the body, for example when triggered.


Crystals for Spirituality

Crystals can be incorporated into a centering spiritual practice like meditation or prayer, used for grounding and self-soothing.

How are crystals for sobriety used?

There are many ways to use crystals to support your sobriety. Here are some ways to begin your journey of exploration.

Placing Crystals on Meridians and Chakras

If you have an understanding of the Chinese system of meridians or the Indian system of chakras, you can use these body maps to experiment with placing crystals on key energy nodes and highways of the body.


Placing Crystals on Parts of the Body that Need Help

You can also place crystals directly on parts of the body that are in pain, such as on your lower back, or key emotional centers in the body, like the heart, solar plexus, or forehead. Holding crystals in your palms is also effective and calming.


Charging Crystals and Setting Intentions

Some people charge crystals by placing them in the sun, or through creating a vibrational field of intentions and focused thought. Essentially, you are programming your crystal to help you in accordance to the way you wish it to.


Using Crystals to Crystallize Water

It is also possible to charge your drinking water and your bathwater with crystals. Some crystals are toxic if consumed internally, though, so research before you try this method.

What are FAQs of crystals for addiction?

Do crystals work for addiction?

Crystals can be part of your mental, emotional, and physical healing process once drugs and alcohol are detoxed out of your system. No therapy, mainstream or alternative, works while you’re still actively using drugs and alcohol, as substances create an overload of toxicity for the body and also interfere with any healing mechanism a modality has.

The only known cure for addiction is to stop using drugs and alcohol completely and to commit to a full transformation of lifestyle, radically changing behavior, thoughts, and feelings.

Crystals can support the hard work a person does to achieve sobriety and recovery, and can be used very effectively to help relieve psychological and physical pain, making treatment easier and more powerfully transformative.


What can using crystals for addiction do, and what can’t it do?

Crystals can balance, regulate, and harmonize your body’s electromagnetic field. Physical illness and unhappy states of mind and mood have certain electromagnetic vibrational signatures, and these can be changed through the application of a crystal that carries the correct vibrational “medicine”.

Through the correction of imbalances, a state of health and harmony can be created. When you are ready to be relieved of an imbalance, crystals can take the imbalance out of your field, and help entrain your field to a more balanced, crystalline, symmetrical state.

Broadly speaking, what crystals don’t do is eliminate a powerful recurring root cause, if you aren’t yet conscious and ready to change it. For example, if you are very anxious because, at a deep unconscious level, you believe that you are not safe, you will also need to repair the core belief consciously before lasting improvements will be noticeable. As with other modalities, including mainstream ones, unconscious trauma can get in the way of the healing powers of crystals.


Where can I start with using crystals for healing?

Intuition is a good guide when it comes to choosing and working with crystals. Just as you might be guided to choose a color to paint your house, or are drawn to certain flowers and scents, the vibrational signature of a crystal may be felt before it is understood mentally.

Start with finding your first healing stone. It is probably best to go to a store rather than purchasing online, because of the physical properties which can be better felt in person. By holding a crystal in your hand you may be able to feel within seconds whether the vibrational signature of electromagnetic effects is a good medicine for your particular needs at this time, or not.

You can also research online or in guidebooks, to get a more comprehensive overview.

Villa Kali Ma uses crystals for addiction treatment

Villa Kali Ma’s core program is built on evidence-based practices which are shown in clinical studies to have the best outcomes for women recovering from addiction, mental health disorders, and trauma.

Into this core, we integrate many ancient healing practices from around the globe. Crystals are used in some of our alternative therapeutic options, such as in our Reiki with Plant Oils and Crystals sessions, and are occasionally incorporated into our earthing, shamanic healing, art therapy, and meditation groups.

If you’re struggling with addiction, we encourage you to reach out and get help right away. If you like the sound of getting world-class treatment and also having the option of learning more about crystals and other holistic methods, consider one of our many programs for women!

Categories
Alcohol Addiction

A Guide to the Effects Alcoholic Mothers Have on Their Daughters

Every woman alive is a daughter. Daughterhood is a deep and archetypal condition, a form we fill out, each in our own ways. All mothers are daughters, too.

The relationship between mother and daughter is like no other. For better or worse, the mothers out of whose bodies and psyches we were forged will always be a source further upstream from us, a wellspring that feeds into our own lifestream.

For those of us with mothers who have also harmed us deeply, we know the peculiar bond braided from love, victimization, and dependency all at once. But nothing is unmixed, even the worst mothers give us something good – if only our own lives.

Those of us who feel mostly positive towards our mothers are still imprinted in such a way that we are forever influenced, and guided into being who we are now partly because of who she is or was.

We are all made out of our mothers. And our daughters are made out of us.

What is the effect an alcoholic mother can have on her daughter?

When a mother is an alcoholic, the effect of that alcoholism on her daughter follows a recognizable pattern. The patterns are predictable, as is the course of alcoholism itself.

Alcoholism shows up in different forms, but has one thing in common – whoever you once were, whoever you could have been, your original self is replaced with an alcoholic version of you.

Daughters of alcoholic mothers suffer greatly at the hands of the alcoholic version of their mother, whether by neglect of basic needs, psychological and physical abuse, exposure to danger, or just the unpredictability and inconsistency of people with addiction. Daughters of alcoholic mothers develop a recognizable syndrome, called “adult child of an alcoholic”, or ACOA.

A daughter of a mother who struggles with alcoholism is likely to:

  • have severe problems with self-esteem, struggling her whole life with guilt, shame, and self-blame
  • be anxious, depressed, and perfectionistic
  • have poor boundaries and internalize her anger (turn against herself rather than get mad at others)
  • develop behavioral health problems (substance addiction, eating disorders, and/or other kinds of self-harm)
  • be diagnosed with a mental illness (panic disorder, generalized anxiety, major depression, ADHD, and so on)
  • have a codependent relationship style, and/or be attracted to partners who also have addiction problems
  • have an ambivalent, avoidant, or disordered attachment style

Codependency, a concept very closely linked to ACOAs, is a kind of psychological syndrome reflecting the dependent child’s adaptation to her mother’s illness.

Codependency is characterized by psychological fusion and role confusion, wherein the child becomes “parentified” and roles get reversed so that in some domains the child meets the parent’s needs rather than the other way around.

In codependent dynamics, a non-substance-addicted person, in this case, the daughter, takes on responsibility for the alcoholic’s life, trying to compensate for their pain, and most of all trying to control the addicted person’s unsafe, unpredictable, and toxic behavior. This enabling and “closeness” (which is actually unhealthy enmeshment) is confused for love.

What strong connection does a mother have with her daughter?

The bond between a mother and her daughter is the most impactful relationship the daughter will ever have. It is the starting place for a daughter, and like the beginning of a story, sets the stage for her hero’s journey.

All children live for a long time in the metaphorical kangaroo pouch of their mother’s psyches. Mothers and babies begin their relationship in a state of merge, a kind of oneness similar to being in love. It is a stage of deep bonding and imprint that can never be undone, no matter what else happens.

Whether that relationship is sweet or fraught, it is a state of fusion. Whatever is true in the mother’s psyche will be shared with her daughter directly, cell to cell, during this stage. A daughter is psychologically part of her mother for many years after the physical parting from her mother’s body at birth.

The process by which a daughter becomes her own being and no longer primarily sourced out of her mother’s body and being is gradual, going through many steps and stages of growth and separation. The individuation process may be said to take decades.

Even when a daughter’s mother has passed on out of the physical realm, the psychological memory and shaping of the mother will persist, as it is not only about the individual person who had the role of being our mother but also the larger archetype of mother, which is collective and universal.

How can a mother break the cycle of addiction?

It is important to know that we can retrieve ourselves from the prison of addiction. It is absolutely possible. It has been done many millions of times, as the large community of recovering people can tell you.

It also isn’t easy and demands that we rise to the occasion of our own lives. Believing ourselves worthy of redemption is hard if we do not value or love ourselves, which many of us don’t.

For many mothers, it may be through the portal of the pain of realizing their impact on their daughters, that they are given the gift of a true desire to change.

If you’re ready, here are the steps to breaking the cycle of addiction, so that what has hurt you, doesn’t go on to hurt more people:

1. Get professional help

It is very difficult to get sober and, more notably, to stay sober permanently, without a total renovation of body, mindset, and emotional habits. This is not a time to go it alone, but rather to get all the help you can.

Addiction is treatable, and recovery is absolutely possible, but it takes some doing. One-on-one psychotherapy, active and frequent participation in healing recovery groups, and behavioral skills training in learning not to react to one’s thoughts, emotions and urges are all generally necessary.

At Villa Kali Ma, we also feel that lifestyle transformations in terms of exercise, diet, and consciousness habits are supportive too. Either way, you can expect to re-envision or update almost everything about yourself and how you have approached life.


2. Educate yourself about the nature of the disease

Knowledge is power. The more we know about addiction and how it operates, the more swiftly we will be able to see it when it comes knocking on our door, asking for us to take it back, as it will most certainly do.

By learning all we can about the biology, psychology, sociology, and even spirituality of addiction and recovery, we will be gifted with more insight and compassion for ourselves, and be armed to the teeth to defend ourselves against relapse.


3. Get into community

Build a support network that is resilient and flexible, ideally made up of loving, wise souls who understand what you’re up against. If you’re not sure where to find such people, start by looking within the walls of recovery meetings like AA. Whether there, or in other communities, remember that actions speak louder than words, and vibration speaks the loudest. Look for the people whose faces are shining with peace and clarity, but who also feel real and relatable to you. Those who have no need to deny your darkness, but also have a source of light inside them, are your people.


4. Look into your Family History

Our lives, as personal as they feel to us, have strong similarities with our forebears. If we struggle with depression or alcoholism, it’s highly likely we’re not the first in our family to do so.

By looking into our family history, perhaps completing a genogram or drawing our family tree as best we can with the information we have, we can gain valuable insights and expand our compassion for ourselves and our whole family system. Understanding a pattern that is being played out in your life can bring enormous relief and help you make different choices.


5. Address the Trauma Factor

It’s important to know that trauma and addiction go together like a horse and carriage. Especially in women, addiction is very frequently rooted in traumatization, from events that took place in childhood or during adolescence, and/or from sexual violation of some kind. Trauma is difficult to recognize until you learn that what you took to be a “normal” state (eg chronic tension or dread) is actually the trauma itself. Getting dedicated help for healing trauma is very often the critical intervention that helps a woman break the cycle of addiction.

What treatment programs are offered for women struggling with alcoholism?

Gender-specific treatment is strongly advised, for women in particular. It is more effective for women to receive treatment among other women than it is for them to get help in mixed-gender settings.

This is for a variety of reasons, most of which stem from the ways that women relate to men, and whether or not women are able to feel physically and psychologically safe around men (and, of course, whether those men are psychologically and physically safe for women). All in all, for women it is preferable to be in a same-sex setting if you can find one that meets your needs.

Addiction treatment exists on a continuum of care, that starts with medically supervised detoxification in a hospital or hospital-like setting and gradually tapers down to outpatient levels of care. Most of these levels of care are available in women-only settings (such as what we at Villa Kali Ma provide).

The levels of care are:

Medically-supervised Detoxification

A short-term, hospital-like stay among medical professionals, who monitor your detoxification process to make sure you detox safely.


Partial Hospitalization

A hybrid treatment setting that retains a strong medical element in case needed, but also begins the treatment and rehabilitation process.


In-patient, or Residential treatment

Traditional rehabilitation setting, in which treatment is administered in a safe, sequestered environment away from normal life.


Intensive Outpatient Treatment

Another hybrid option provides a high level of structure and intensity of treatment services but in an outpatient setting.


Outpatient Treatment

The least intensive level of care is usually recommended as a step-down level for people who have completed higher levels of care.

Where you belong in the continuum of care depends on how long you have been drinking, how old you were when you began drinking, how much alcohol you have been drinking, how frequently you have been drinking, whether you also use prescriptions, and factors like these.

Which level of care you belong in should be determined together with a professional, with input from both of you about what may be needed and necessary in your case.

Villa Kali Ma offers all of the above levels of care in holistic women-only treatment settings.

What are the signs of alcoholism in women?

There are many tell-tale signs of alcoholism, ranging from physical signs, like liver problems, to psychological problems, like anxiety and depression.

The easiest indicator to recognize in oneself or another is out-of-control behavior related to drinking. The following signs can be helpful for recognition of the patterns:

1. Drinking More Than You Mean To in One Sitting

A common experience for people with alcoholism is an inability to set limits on one’s own drinking, within a given drinking event. For example, you may say to yourself, “I need to get up early tomorrow, so tonight I will have just one glass of wine with dinner”, but nevertheless you end up drinking several glasses. The difficulty stopping once started on a particular incidence of drinking, is a sign that alcohol has some growing power over your will.


2. Unable to Cut Down even when you have Good Reasons To

Many people decide at some point to stop drinking altogether for a while or to drink a little less, overall. It is a sign that alcoholism is at play if you find this to be very difficult or even impossible. If you cannot follow a resolution to not drink for a certain period of time, if you are struggling with your own willpower, this indicates alcoholism.


3. Craving alcohol

Women who have developed or are starting to develop alcoholism will experience cravings to drink which feel relatively strong, akin to hunger when you haven’t eaten or thirst when you’re dehydrated. It will feel almost like a bodily need, such as needing to rest when tired. Cravings to drink may kick in after emotional triggers or as a habit at a certain time of the day, as though your body is asking for it.


4. Feeling Bad when you don’t drink: aka withdrawals

Another telltale sign of alcoholism underway is if, in the absence of alcohol, you start to feel bad physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. This is the body withdrawing from alcohol. The pain can be as subtle as an uptick in unease or grumpiness, or it can be so severe that you can’t function normally due to headaches or trembling, and you find you need to consume some alcohol to return to your normal state. Eventually, withdrawals can become part of your daily life. Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, sweating, trembling, anxiety, headaches, and delirium.


5. Needing to drink more to get the same effect: tolerance

Tolerance is part of all substance addiction. Tolerance means that what used to be enough alcohol to make you drunk or get the relaxant effect you are after, is no longer sufficient, leading you to drink more and more to get the same effect. Eventually, alcoholics no longer get any pleasure or peace from drinking, and instead drink just to stave off the pain of withdrawals.

Why is it important for a mother to be a good role model for her daughter and for herself?

We believe that women matter. All women. Me, you, all of us here at Villa Kali Ma, all women everywhere.

If you’re a mother, don’t ever fall for the mean voice inside that says you don’t matter to your daughter. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, you matter more than you will ever know, and to your daughter most of all. A mother-daughter relationship is forever, and as long as you are both still here, in living, breathing bodies, you have a chance to start again.

Every daughter counts, and you’re a daughter too. You can be the mother that you need, and the mother your daughter needs, all in the same breath.

Villa Kali Ma can help women struggling with alcoholism

Villa Kali Ma offers addiction treatment and recovery programs for women who suffer from alcoholism, trauma, and/or mental health struggles. We welcome mothers, daughters, sisters, and all the women of this world, into the heart of our program of care. We are here to help you throw off the burdens of addiction and to claim your right to live fully and freely, as best you can, in the light that you actually already are.

Categories
Alcohol Addiction

What are the Emotional Effects of Alcohol?

There is a reason that nearly 12 million women in the United States alone qualify for an alcohol use disorder. The way that alcohol affects the mind, body, and mood is addictive, generating the phenomena of craving, tolerance, and withdrawal.

But how does alcohol affect our feelings? Any woman who has wrested her life back from the octopus arms of addiction will tell you: that alcohol starts out friendly, helping us feel more social, open, and relaxed. But before too long, alcohol amplifies shame, guilt, anger, stress, trauma, depression, and anxiety. For those who don’t get out of alcoholism’s grip in time, their last days are spent in pure insanity.

Read on for Villa Kali Ma’s exploration of how alcoholism takes away a woman’s ability to feel her feelings. All the more reason to devote ourselves, once again, to the bright, true path of recovery.

What are the emotional effects of alcohol?

Here are a few of the ways that alcohol makes us feel bad.

How Alcohol Affects Women with PTSD

There is a strong connection between traumatization and addiction. The link goes in both directions; women who drink are more likely to develop post-traumatic stress disorder than women who don’t, and women who already have PTSD or complex trauma are more likely to become addicted to substances, including alcohol.

Alcohol, like all addictive substances, has a negative interaction with trauma, causing greater levels of dissociation, intensity of traumatic memory, flashbacks, and reenactment compulsion. This is because alcohol further prevents the processing and release of traumatic memories, so the distress coming from damage to survival instincts, which people with PTSD must learn how to release, is doubly locked inside the body.


How Alcohol Interacts with Stress

For the same reasons that alcohol interacts negatively with traumatic stress, it also interacts negatively with everyday life stress, such as the stress associated with parenting and work. The body’s stress processing pathways – heart, stomach, breath, and nervous system – are deteriorated by alcohol. The consequences of alcoholism also bring more stressful events into a woman’s life, in the form of legal, financial, and relationship problems.


How Alcohol Interacts with Depression

Alcohol generates depression as a side effect, even though many women also use it to self-medicate their pre-existing depression. The longer-term impact on physiology is to reduce levels of happiness and good mood, through disrupting neurotransmitter and hormone production and circulation in the body, as well as re-routing patterns of brain and nervous system functioning.

Alcohol also depletes the body of vitamins, minerals, and nutrients, which are vital to the maintenance of positive mood. Alcohol gradually poisons the liver and sickens the body, such that the body’s ability to eliminate toxins is impaired.
Feeling ill in the body and having a heavy load of toxins and inflammation are both correlated with depression.


How Alcohol Interacts with Anxiety

Anxiety is a side effect of alcohol and a withdrawal symptom from alcohol. Women who turn to alcohol for its calming, relaxant, and socially lubricating effects have to eventually face the reverse impact when the body no longer has enough of the substance to recreate the effect.

The pattern of chronic anxiety is deepened through the repetitive use of alcohol, and alcohol gets in the way of the body’s ability to find nervous system healing through positive methods like exercise, nutrition, and meditation.


How Alcohol Interacts with Anger

We need boundaries that protect ourselves and others, and healthy anger can be part of recognizing a boundary. A temporary emotional state of anger can be used as a signal to take action to protect ourselves and other vulnerable who are counting on us to defend them, such as our children or pets.

Rage, on the other hand, is out of control, explosive anger that hurts ourselves and others. Rage is not helpful for resolving conflicts or getting our needs addressed. Rage is adversely affected by alcohol abuse. Women who abuse alcohol gradually become more and more rageful over time.


How Alcohol Affects a Woman’s Self-Esteem

Alcohol reinforces shame severely. Shame is the feeling that you don’t deserve to be loved or to belong in the group. It is one of the most difficult emotions to endure.

When you’re already depressed, angry, and anxious, the chronic and relentless shame that people with addiction feel can be a killer. Many women with substance use disorders take their own lives.

There is a stigma associated with addiction, and the life consequences of alcoholism, such as health problems, physical ravages, job loss, financial trouble, DUIs, loss of custody, and so on, are also stigmatized.


How Alcohol Affects Social Interactions

Alcoholism leads to social isolation. Due to the changes in personality that take place with alcoholism, sober people and moderate drinkers don’t want to be around us and we don’t want to be around them. It is hard for caring people to witness our self-destruction and not be able to do anything about it. All of these reasons, and more, lead to a loss of family, friends, and social belonging.


How Alcohol Affects Intimate Relationships

Alcohol corrodes intimacy. In addition to psychological impacts that generate more rage, stress, depression, and anxiety, alcoholics make bad choices, bringing on financial and legal trouble.

Alcohol is linked to domestic violence (for victims too), emotional volatility, fights, and reckless behavior, like crashing cars, infidelity, and spending sprees. People who love us may eventually leave for their own well-being. The people who stay with us get sick with codependency, which harms them considerably.

How does alcohol affect the human brain?

Alcohol is first absorbed into the blood and then transmitted to the brain. Once in the brain, alcohol affects our supply of neurotransmitters and hormones. These tiny chemical messengers are involved in regulating and balancing all vital systems. The connection between alcohol and menopause is particularly significant because hormonal fluctuations during menopause can amplify the effects of alcohol on neurotransmitters and overall mental health.

If we do not have enough of the right kinds of these molecules, many pathways are disrupted and thrown out of whack. Some neurotransmitters which are known to be disturbed by alcohol are GABA, serotonin, and dopamine.

A very simplified analogy for thinking about this is: that alcohol breaks into the storehouse of neurotransmitters and releases them artificially, thereby cheating the system and spending them when we haven’t yet earned them.

An alcohol-induced GABA spike creates sedation, and a release of concentrated dopamine feels like pleasure. Sedation and pleasure are addictive, leading us to want to drink alcohol again and again. When the physical toxicity and negative emotional impacts of alcohol kick in, we are liable to want that borrowed pleasure and sedation even more.

The problem with breaking into the storehouse is that the required levels of these transmitters are gone when we need them for other bodily operations.

These molecules are supposed to be used for operating the body, as well as for natural reward and relaxation processes. They are ordinarily released as a cascade when we are doing life-affirming activities: after exercise, sleep, emotional connection, creativity, and procreation. Normally, we would feel pleasure as a reward for behavior that is good for life (our own and other people’s).

For example, the natural pleasure that a mother and her baby feel when a mother is nursing her newborn, or that two people feel when falling in love, or which a grandmother feels while gardening in the sun, are hormonal and neurotransmitter cascades saying “yes, this is good for you”.

If we deplete our supply of biological reward hormones and neurotransmitters through using drugs and alcohol, we eventually aren’t able to feel enjoyment naturally anymore. This can all be restored through a life of recovery, but it takes some time to replenish after addiction.

What influences alcohol’s impact on your brain?

How much influence alcohol will have on your brain depends on how much exposure you have had. The amount of alcohol you drink, how often you drink, how old you were when you began drinking, and for how many years total you have been drinking, are all predictors of how much impact alcohol will have on your brain. More alcohol over the same period of time means more impact. Also, the earlier in your development you start using alcohol, the greater the impact.

Another factor to consider is your baseline physical and mental health. If you have a physical or mental illness, then alcohol has a greater impact on you.

What parts of the brain does alcohol affect?

Alcohol affects multiple centers in the brain that are connected to mood, motor control, thought, sensation, and decisions.

Alcohol inhibits some brain functions and stimulates other functions. The frontal lobe, which moderates aggressive behavior, helps us make rational decisions and overrides impulsive urges, is inhibited by alcohol and can be damaged.

Alcohol also stimulates the limbic system, explaining why it can make people feel happy, affectionate, and connected in the short term, but also why sadness and other more difficult emotions exist in abundance in alcoholics.

Alcohol-related brain damage in women

In recent decades the impact of chronic alcohol abuse on the brain has been studied more closely. Brain imaging reveals what appear to be areas of damage in the brains of alcoholics, in key centers related to emotion. These areas of brain damage corroborate the already observable phenomena of extreme mood swings and out-of-control behavior in alcoholics.

Women are more at risk of alcohol-related brain damage than men, due to our physiological differences. We are also more prone to experiencing blackouts, which harm short and long-term memory, showing up as shrinkage in function-specific centers of the brain. What this generally means for women is chronic problems with anxiety, depression, and anger, as well as difficulty with memory and decisions.

How does alcohol affect your mental health?

Mental health is deeply disrupted by alcohol. For people who have no pre-existing mental health problems, alcoholism instills them, bringing on depression, anxiety, and in later stages, psychosis. For people who have a pre-existing or co-occurring mental health problem, including trauma-related disorders, alcohol makes these worse, deepening them and interfering with healing them.

People with severe and chronic mental health problems, such as bipolar disorder and major depression, often use alcohol to self-medicate, but its impact is very destructive in the long run, aggravating both mania and depression.

Overcome the emotional effects of alcohol today!

When our emotions are working as nature intended, we have vivid, active hearts. Our emotions guide and comfort us. When joy comes, we feel it fully. We can also tolerate and pass through the tenderness of sorrow. We play the full, grand piano range of emotional notes.

All that makes life worth living, is recognized by how it feels. Alcohol takes this birthright from us. It darkens our hearts.

Through sobriety, it’s possible to start over. Villa Kali Ma is a unique, women-only holistic treatment provider, specializing in recovery from addiction, co-occurring mental health disorders, and/or trauma. If you’re looking to recover your right to feel good in your own heart, body, and mind, we’d love to work with you!

References:

https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health/alcohol-topics/alcohol-facts-and-statistics/alcohol-use-disorder-aud-united-states-age-groups-and-demographic-characteristics

Categories
Alcohol Addiction

The Connection Between Menopause and Alcohol

Here at Villa Kali Ma, we celebrate women in every way. We love women fully, without any shade of reservation, as we are now.

Our love for women embraces many stages of life that all women pass through. One such stage of life is menopause, the window of development during which we turn from grown-ups into wisdom-keeping elders.

The present wider culture is stingy with its love for women. Its main attitude towards menopause is to trivialize it, pathologize it, or tease us about the messiness the process requires.

But we do not have to follow the cues of the wider culture, do we? We do not. Let us make our own music from the rhythms and harmonies we discover at play in our own lives, in the lives of women.

In a spirit of loving celebration of our maturing process, here is Villa Kali Ma’s guide to menopause, as it relates to our core topics of addiction, mental illness, and healing.

What is the connection between menopause and alcohol?

Menopause is achieved in the body through the operations of hormones, those indescribably tiny units of electrochemically alive substances that have such a big role in the body.

Alcohol is known to interfere with the natural health and operations of hormones, especially for women, who are more vulnerable biologically to alcohol’s many effects than men. Alcohol wipes out precious stores of needed hormones, makes others inert, causes some to be produced in overabundance, and so on.

When alcohol is relied upon for coping with the choppy waves of emotion that come with menopause, we get pulled into a trap, wherein we are always chasing, and never quite finding, a place of pause between hormonal swells.

If you, or someone you love, is getting entangled in the alcohol trap during menopause, you are not alone! This is a relatively commonplace struggle for women who feel unsupported or alone when called upon to face the many deepening questions that menopause asks of the body, mind, and spirit.

What is menopause?

Menopause is the clinical name for the transition that takes place when women exit the chapter of life in which they were biologically available to become pregnant and give birth to children (at least, the old-fashioned way).

Menopause is, notoriously, the season of life during which we experience hot flashes and mood swings, as well as bodily changes that affect our appearance and our feeling of who we are in the world.

Menopause usually takes place between the ages of 45 and 55, with the average age of menopause being 51. It is considered to have officially taken place once 12 months have gone by since the end of menstruation.

Hormonally speaking, menopause and perimenopause (the stage preceding menopause) involve a gradual reduction of naturally produced estrogen and progesterone, the two main hormones in women’s bodies.

Menopause is, no doubt, a highly biological experience, but it is also colored by many cultural influences. Its suffering is in part made up of how we feel about aging in general, but also the implications of the transformation of the female body to a form less admired within the dominant culture.

In many ways, menopause is closing to the chapter of life that was opened when we went through puberty as adolescents. Everything relating to the adult female body’s potential for bearing children, sexuality, and perceived appeal to others, is touched by this change.

What are the symptoms of menopause?

Menopause has physical impacts as well as emotional effects on women.

At the physical level, the change in hormones and their work in the body can show themselves in certain telltale signs. Here are some of the physical signals that changing hormones are affecting the body:

  • Menstrual irregularity
  • Hot flashes and night sweats
  • Sleep difficulties
  • Headaches
  • Weight changes
  • Itchiness and physical irritability
  • Changes in vaginal moisture and sexual arousal

At the level of emotions and thoughts, some common experiences for women during menopause include the following:

  • Mourning one’s past, greater awareness of one’s aging, and a feeling of limited remaining time
  • Nostalgia or regrets about how the past was spent
  • Lowered self-esteem, sadness, and depression due to changing physical appearance or other changes
  • Anger, moodiness, and irritability

How does menopause contribute to addiction?

Addiction is always a risk whenever overwhelmingly painful life experiences are encountered, and a woman has not yet had the chance to build up a reliable way of nourishing and comforting herself with healthy tools and habits. To struggle during menopause is enormously common – we all cope and do the best we can – and some of us will be more prone to falling for addiction’s false promises.

Some women may increase their use of prescription medication or start drinking more than she ever would have before menopause. Women who have had drinking or addiction problems in the past may find themselves more prone to be triggered to use again.

Both estrogen and progesterone interact with substance abuse and addiction. With both estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuating during menopause, this can influence subjective experiences of craving or desiring to use substances.

What drugs are most commonly abused by women on menopause?

Women who are pulled into substance abuse during menopause are most likely to use alcohol and/or prescription painkillers, both of which are highly addictive and harm the hormonal change process.

Alcohol and prescriptions tend to be used because they work in the short term to delay emotional and physical pain, which a woman may feel unprepared to process and experience.

It’s important to understand that such attempts to numb or avoid pain are signals from the psyche that help is needed. Rather than permitting substance abuse to carry on and cement into addiction, which is difficult to uproot once it has taken hold, one can instead decide to “get the message” and seek therapeutic support of some kind.

What are the side effects of addiction?

Addiction creates many problems and does not cure the pain of menopause. Rather, substance use interferes with and delays the adaptations the body is attempting to accomplish.

Menopause is a psychologically and sometimes physically difficult process, and ideally, women would have more support for going through it. It is easy to feel alone, depressed, and unsupported while it takes place.

Using substances, instead of helping, will generate a vicious cycle, making depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and menopause symptoms worse.

Instead of numbing the pain of menopause, therefore, it is highly suggested to find ways to nourish one’s body and soul during the process, with compassion and kindness for the truth of how difficult the experience is.

Some further side effects of addiction include:

  • Changes to the brain and nervous system, affecting executive functioning (ability to make decisions), loss of willpower and self-control
  • Intense cravings to use substances and increased levels of discomfort when not using substances, eventually leading to an inability to function normally without drugs or alcohol
  • Increased obsession with substances, managing use, and consequences of use
  • Change of personality to become more negative and unhealthy in thought and emotion, as well more as self-centered
  • Life consequences, such as job loss, financial and legal troubles, and erosion of relationships
  • Worsening of physical and mental health symptoms, including menopause symptoms

How to deal with severe menopause?

The pain of menopause can be taken as an invitation to greater intimacy with yourself and your needs. To learn to comfort and support yourself from within your own well of resources is ultimately a positive thing.

Likewise, taking constructive and self-responsible action on your own behalf to get help to heal emotionally and feel better physically, can be a transformation in lifestyle that brings many new gifts into your life.

As we learn to radically care for the female body and soul as it goes through these important shifts and changes, we come to a greater understanding of our own uniquely lovable life form.

Here are some ideas for further investigation, which we have found to be supportive for this time of a woman’s physical and emotional journey.

1. Exercise

There is a reason that exercise tops the list of natural health approaches. Moving the body to the point of feeling energized, relaxed, and spent in a good way, triggers the body’s self-restoration mechanisms. Vigorous exercise brings peace of mind, better sleep, and a healthy body.

Choose an exercise format that feels good to your body – as long as you are exhausting yourself through the exercise and gently pushing yourself to raise your fitness level each time you exercise, you will be amply rewarded in your hormonal and neurotransmitter functioning.


2. Diet

Every day, more research surfaces that shed light on the many ways that food affects our physical and mental lives. From gut health and inflammation to immunity and cognition, every circuit of the body is affected by what minerals, vitamins, and other substances we take in.

There are many diets to choose from, so investigate or consult a nutritionist, to find a diet that works for you. Generally speaking, fresh, organic, whole, and nutrient-dense foods will be the way to a feeling of clean, clear sustenance. Genetically modified organisms, added sugars, processed foods, packaged foods, additives, chemicals, and complex carbohydrates are generally suggested to be dropped away from the diet, as possible.


3. Get Support

It is unreasonable to ask that women go through the steep challenges of menopause without someone with whom we can confidentially express emotions. Whether in a support group, among friends, or with a therapist, secure a safe space for unfolding the truth of how you are experiencing your life, without any risk of judgment or pressure to conform. Your menopause is unique and yours to experience, and your emotions are valid.

Villa Kali Ma can help women dealing with menopause and alcoholism

Villa Kali Ma is dedicated to helping women heal, during the sacred window of menopause, and any other stage of life. We offer inpatient and outpatient programs treating substance abuse, mental health struggles, and trauma. If you’re struggling with addiction, mental health problems, or traumatization, while staring down this significant life transition, consider working with us. We’d love to help you find your way along the road.

Categories
Drug Addiction

Prozac Side Effects in Females: Why Does Prozac Affect Women Differently?

Women are affected differently than men are by addiction, mental illness, and trauma. That’s part of why we here at Villa Kali Ma believe so deeply in our mission: to provide healing and treatment services by and for women.

Women’s bodies respond differently to substances like alcohol and medications, too. One common medication, Prozac, frequently prescribed for conditions like depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, and eating disorders, has stronger side effects for women than for men.

In this post, we’ll explore the topic of Prozac, Prozac abuse, side effects, and more.

Why does Prozac affect women differently?

Women’s bodies are composed of different ratios of water, fat, and hormones than men’s bodies. Women are also subject to a greater degree of fluctuation, due to the menstrual cycle, as well as pregnancy and menopause. All of these factors can influence a woman’s ability to metabolize Prozac.

What is Prozac?

Prozac is the brand name for fluoxetine, an SSRI-class drug (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor).

Prozac was one of the original “happy pills”, pioneered by early proponents of expanding the use of psychiatric medication. SSRIs are believed to help with depression. Since its introduction to the market, the list of conditions Prozac is prescribed to treat has expanded to include other mental health disorders as well.

Prozac, like other SSRIs, is believed to increase serotonin levels in the brain. Serotonin is theorized to have a primary role in the operations of mood, thus contributing to happiness and unhappiness.

Since the skyrocketing popularity of anti-depressants in the 1990s and early 2000s, more and more people in the United States have been prescribed drugs like Prozac, to treat more and more mental health conditions.  Further research is needed to validate the theory of serotonin deficiency being the origin of depression, as well as into the longer-term safety and efficacy of SSRIs.

More recently, a percentage of the population misusing SSRIs has gained attention within the addictions and mental health field. This trend suggests that the psychoactive effects of antidepressants, widely believed to be nonaddictive and safe at appropriate doses, may after all represent potential for abuse.

What are the side effects of Prozac for women?

Prozac has numerous side effects, generally considered acceptable by the psychiatric and medical community, traded against a lessening of painful mental health symptoms.

Whether or not the side effects feel acceptable in comparison to the symptom-suppressing effects of the medication is a personal decision for each woman to make. The journey of finding the right medication and level of medication to take is generally ongoing, as most mental health patients will end up being guided into switching psychiatric drugs, adding additional drugs, and/or upping and lowering doses many times over the years.

It is noteworthy that some side effects are stronger for women than men. These side effects include:

  • gastrointestinal impacts like diarrhea, weight changes, nausea, constipation, loss of appetite and digestion problems
  • headaches, fatigue, dizziness, dry mouth
  • anxiety, restlessness, and insomnia
  • sexual dysfunction

What are the effects of Prozac on pregnancy?

More research is needed into the impacts of SSRIs like Prozac on mother and baby during pregnancy. Prozac is believed by some doctors to be safe to take throughout pregnancy at low doses, while others believe there is an increased risk of complications.

Given that all doctors agree that whatever substance ingested by a pregnant mother is also ingested by the fetus, it is wise to research and discuss options with your trusted health person before deciding what’s best in your case.

What are the effects of Prozac on female hormones?

Prozac interacts with female hormones and may disrupt your menstrual cycle. Side effects of Prozac that relate to hormones include an increase in premenstrual mood syndrome symptoms (headaches, irritability, moodiness, and cramping), cycle irregularity, and changes to the amount of blood (having a heavier or lighter period).

What are the serious side effects of Prozac in women?

Some side effects of Prozac are more serious and are important to be aware of. The risk of these side effects is greater at higher doses, and for the same reason, it is also more likely to occur when abusing the substance to get a psychoactive effect. So if you are on a high dose or you are using more Prozac than prescribed, look out for these.

Serious side effects include:

  • Abnormal bleeding
  • Seizures
  • Heart Palpitations, increased heart rate
  • Tremors and shakes
  • Nervousness and agitation
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Mood swings
  • Allergic reactions
  • Serotonin syndrome (serotonin toxicity, potentially fatal)

Can Prozac cause seizures?

In concentrated doses, yes, Prozac can cause seizures. People with a history of epilepsy may want to avoid Prozac. Seizures are reported to be rare when taking Prozac as directed by a doctor, but the risk increases when put on a high dose and/or when intentionally taking more than prescribed, for recreational or self-medicating motives.

What are the signs of Prozac abuse?

The distinctions between chemical dependence on a high dose of Prozac, Prozac abuse, and Prozac addiction are somewhat fine and semantic. In general, signs of addiction to Prozac taking root include:

  • Taking pills more frequently, or more of them, than prescribed
  • Finishing prescriptions early
  • Obsessive thinking about the medication, including preoccupation with obtaining it or undue fear of running out of it
  • Taking pills at unscheduled times, spontaneously or in response to an emotional trigger
  • Moodiness, irritability, mania, or social withdrawal
  • Flu-like symptoms
  • Other addiction signals, including financial or legal trouble, life consequences, and so on

Women’s treatment for Prozac abuse

Stopping the use of Prozac, like any psychoactive substance, should be done carefully with trained health personnel supporting and supervising the process. Prozac withdrawal is a medical event that needs to be monitored for your own safety.

If you have been over-using your prescribed Prozac or abusing Prozac without a prescription, it is highly advised to seek substance abuse treatment. The stages of detoxification from Prozac, getting through the mental and emotional challenges of post-acute withdrawal (which can include a severe uptick in mental health symptoms like suicidal feelings and anxiety), as well as adjustment to sobriety as a permanent positive lifestyle, are best supported by a team of professionals.

Villa Kali Ma can assist women with prescription addiction

As more research about SSRIs like Prozac emerges, it’s apparent that addiction to these medications is growing in some portion of the population.

From the beginning of the use of SSRIs, chemical dependence, evidenced by withdrawal syndromes, has been documented though not widely discussed in the public forum.

Most vulnerable to developing SSRI dependence or addiction are those with pre-existing mental health disorders, (aka the people being prescribed these medications), and those with an active addiction or addiction history.

Our opinion at Villa Kali Ma is, if you would like to free yourself from reliance on a particular substance, including a prescription drug you no longer want to take for whatever your personal reasons are, that is a valid goal and we support you. Many prescription drugs are patently addictive. Whether you count SSRIs on the list of addictive prescriptions is a matter of debate and definitions of addiction, but if you want to get off your SSRI, we’ll help you.

To us, any substance that harms you physically while it suppresses your emotional symptoms creates dependence and is hard to get off because when you do, you go into withdrawals, and may not be a trustworthy medication in the long run.

Whatever your opinion is, we are here to help people get through chemical withdrawals from any substance, legal or illegal, and to reorient themselves towards positive, healthy, holistic, happy lives without chemistry.

References:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4140701/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7613097/

Categories
Detox

Can You Detox While Pregnant?

Women can be pregnant, and also be helplessly addicted to alcohol, prescriptions, and street drugs. Is this you? Is this someone you know? Don’t worry, you are not alone.

It’s a serious problem, yes. Many newborns start their lives addicted to drugs. These babies spend their first few days outside the womb going through the physical and psychological agonies of withdrawal.

This happens not because women don’t care about their unborn children, but rather because these women are fully enslaved, caught in a cycle of compulsive self-destruction wherein their personal willpower is ineffective to follow through on sane and rational decisions.

It’s really important to understand that these women are not bad people, they’re just addicted! Addiction behaves the same way in every single person, it’s not personal whatsoever.

If this is you, take heart. There is, as they say in AA, a solution. It’s called recovery, or living life fully sober, one day at a time.

Can you detox while pregnant? Is it safe?

It is possible to detox safely while pregnant, but it’s important to do so in a medical setting, or in a supervised detoxification facility.

Any substance that you are ingesting is being filtered by your placenta and shared with your baby as well. The impacts to your system introduced by a sudden absence of the drug will also affect the baby – the pain or suffering of withdrawal will be felt by the baby too.

To minimize the risk of birth defects, complications during childbirth, and extreme withdrawal symptoms, such as seizures or other life-threatening events, check yourself into a medical facility to undergo detox.

What should a woman know about detox and pregnancy?

The sooner you detoxify your body from all addictive substances and their harmful side effects, the better it will be for you and your baby.

If you are pregnant and addicted, do not wait to seek help. Every second counts, due to the relatively short and influential window of time during which a baby’s development is being determined by your own body’s condition.

The longer your baby is exposed to chemicals, the greater the risk of harm to the baby, in the form of death by miscarriage, birth defects, or being born with neonatal abstinence syndrome (NAS), a condition generated when babies go into withdrawal at birth.

Getting sober begins with detoxification, or getting the drugs out of your system. Detoxification should always be monitored by medical professionals, because it is not an easy step of the process, psychologically and physically.

Many substances popularly used by addicted women today, including prescription opioids, benzodiazepines, and good old-fashioned alcohol, are dangerous to withdraw from due to the way they interact with key organs and systems in the body.

Seizures, heart attacks, and other life-threatening medical incidents can happen during detoxification. When pregnant, medical monitoring is essential to secure the life of the baby as well as to make sure the mother safely detoxes all harmful substances.

Why shouldn’t a woman attempt to detox on her own when she is pregnant?

There are several reasons to check yourself into a medically supervised detox if you are pregnant, rather than trying to detox on your own. These two are primary.

The first is that the withdrawal process can be dangerous to you and the baby, especially in the case of alcohol and prescription pills, and whenever drugs are used in combination with alcohol and medications. Sometimes medical interventions are needed, including medications administered to help reduce the severity of some of the worse withdrawal symptoms.

It will be much easier on you and safer for the baby if you are medically supported through the phase of cleaning psychoactive chemicals out of your body. If the withdrawal process were to go poorly, it is possible not only to lose the baby but also to lose your own life. A medical setting is essential.

The second reason is that most women underestimate the overpowering nature of cravings that kick in during detox. The further impact of pregnancy hormones can amplify cravings. Those who attempt to detox alone are much less likely to be successful at getting through to the other side than those who do it in a medical setting. When you’re pregnant, there isn’t enough time to try it and see if you beat the odds.

How to safely detox during pregnancy?

Detoxing safely during pregnancy involves making and following a plan together with other people. It should not be done alone as an impulsive reaction. The instinct to get clean, because you’re pregnant, is right and good, it’s just important to do it safely by following a plan.

The plan will involve medical personnel monitoring the detoxification journey, nutritional support, hydration support, and therapeutic services to help you through the worst of the emotional aspects of withdrawal.

The plan will also include where you will go after detoxification (ideally into residential treatment, or the next best available option for you), so you are as protected as possible from the urge to return to drugs and alcohol, and so that you can be properly supported to learn sobriety skills.

Immediately after detox, you will need to participate as actively as you can in a substance abuse treatment program, taking responsibility for your rehabilitation and recovery so that the transformation in lifestyle, thoughts, and feelings that is necessary for long-term sobriety can take place.

Recovery is accomplished one day at a time and never requires more than doing the very best you can, in the moment. You will only ever be dealing with the stretch of road right in front of you, which means a lot of letting go of control, plans, and expectations, instead learning to be adaptable and to take things as they come, with as much courage and cooperation as possible.

It is best to keep things very, very simple, and to keep your priorities crystal clear, sobriety being priority number one in every single moment. You may want to prepare yourself for the fact that, to stay sober every day, especially in the early days, takes commitment and full surrender to the process. This almost always means doing things you feel resistant to doing and following people’s advice and examples.

This is a temporary stage in which you are rebooting your whole life. All the difficulties of early recovery are eventually rewarded later on, with a surprising joy that you won’t be able to predict, but which will make it all worth it (and more).

Much like motherhood itself, sobriety will be an adventure – it might seem scary now, but once it arrives you will never be able to imagine your life without it. If this is you, we’re cheering you on!

What to expect during detox while you’re pregnant?

Being in the unknown is hard for all women. When you’re deciding to get off drugs, and you’re pregnant, you have every right to feel vulnerable and scared of what’s to come. We’re here to tell you that if you relax, follow instructions as they come, try to stay out of fear, and surrender to the process, you can get through this challenging stage.

Perhaps you can draw comfort from knowing that many women have gone before you into this same unknown, and come out the other side intact. Countless numbers of women who stood where you are now have gone on to live beautiful, humanly-imperfect lives together with their daughters and sons.

One barrier that sometimes scares women off from entering detox is fear of pain. Pain is a temporary part of the withdrawal process, it’s true. It is also part of giving birth. But pain can be, and is, tolerated and survived, every day, by women all over the world. And furthermore, there is a big difference between pain with support, and pain without it.

If you are in a medically supervised detox setting, there will be taper-down options for slowly adjusting to having less pain-numbing substances in your body. Some doctors may suggest medications that can help you reduce slowly, and/or drugs to counteract withdrawal symptoms, as well.

In your first sober weeks, in treatment, there will also be emotional support options for helping you to manage the anxiety you may be having about pain, fears of the unknown, and just feeling plain terrified to be a mother (or a mother again). Know that your courageous decision to get clean for your own sake and for your baby is meaningful and important, and so so valued.

Villa Kali Ma can assist pregnant women with detox and addiction

Villa Kali Ma offers medically supervised detoxification as a part of our spectrum of addiction treatment services. We welcome all women into our doors, including pregnant women.

Our programs for women address substance abuse, mental illness, and trauma through a combination of evidence-based clinical methods with holistic practices like massage, acupuncture, and yoga.

If you’re pregnant, first of all, congratulations. If you’ve decided to detox, congratulations again! We’re here for you if you need us.

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