Author: VKM

We are all breathing every second of the day, whether we are thinking about it or not. So what does it mean to do breathwork if breathing is an automatic process? 

Let’s explore the powerful benefits of breathwork and how it differs from other practices you may already know. 

What is the difference between meditation and breathwork?

The stereotypical picture of meditation is familiar to us: someone sits on the ground, eyes closed and palms upturned as they connect with blissful blankness. It looks like the embodiment of peace, and for many people, it can feel frustratingly unattainable. While this isn’t an entirely accurate picture of what meditation can truly be in your life, we don’t often have a mental picture for breathwork.

Breathwork isn’t a replacement or alternative to meditation but a practice entirely of its own. While meditation asks you for quiet focus, breathwork is entirely geared toward alternating the rhythm of your autonomic nervous system through the way you take in oxygen. Your breathing becomes the focus of your healing on every level- from the muscular action to the existential awareness- so that every breath you draw becomes the work you’re doing with your entire being.

Why is breathwork so powerful?

Breathwork is powerful because the air you breathe is a central component of powering your body and mind. You are shaped by the way you move through the world and the breath that moves through you as you do. Breathwork is powerful because you are powerful. 

Some of the benefits of breathwork are: 

• Reduced levels of pain and increased ability to self-manage pain 
• Better regulation of anxiety levels 
• Getting more (and better) sleep 
• Increasing the strength and health of your lungs
• Faster cell regeneration 
• Stronger immune system 
• Improved trauma recovery (physical and mental) 

• Increased circulation and more stable blood pressure 

There are many types of breathwork you can try

One of the most empowering reasons to consider breathwork for healing is the many ways to incorporate it into your life. Some types of breath work you may be familiar with already are square breathing, alternate nostril breathing, pranayama, or balanced breathing. There are practices for those just beginning, expert breath workers, and every stage in between. 

When you are beginning a breathwork practice as something new or an alternative to meditation, you can explore the types available based on what it is you’re looking for. Do you need support with anxiety or symptoms of trauma? Square breathing invites a 4-count breath at every step (inhale, pause, exhale, pause) and can help with that. Are you aiming for better control of your lung capacity and cell oxygenation? Diaphragmatic breathing engages your muscular strength in supporting those functions. 

How often should I practice breathwork?

As with all practices you begin, the way you cultivate it should be responsive to your needs and the progress you hope to make through it. 

Breathwork is scientifically proven 

Your ability to intentionally regulate your breathing has many benefits, as we’ve explored, but science wants you to know that it really works. With improvements to health that range from strong immune systems to improved removal of toxins through your breath, there are various studies that support the powerful effects of breathwork for healing. 

Breathwork works for healing because it is healing at a scientific and spiritual level. You are drawing in air that will move stagnancy within your body and introduce new possibilities as you remove the things that no longer serve you. For some people, that will be at a cellular physical level as toxins are removed. Others may find that the science of breath healing is more existential magic. 

The benefits you experience will be unique 

Your experience of breathwork will be just as unique as you are. While there is a vast possibility of benefits and life changes you may see, how breathwork impacts you will be a unique journey that you get to take. Every new change, benefit and development will be an exciting achievement to uncover along your path toward healing. 

How do I get started?

Whether you’re beginning as an alternative to meditation or in addition to other healing practices in your life, getting started with breath work is simple. You do not need a class, a guide or to be taught. There are types of breathwork you can do right here and now. Alternatively, there are amazing resources to inspire your breathwork practice across the internet, in holistic studios and communities across the country. 

Whether you choose to create a community breathwork practice or you strike out in a solitary space of internal healing, you have undoubtedly stumbled on a new space to breathe deep. 

Inhale, my friend, and prepare to exhale into new possibilities. 

If you or someone you know is ready to overcome substance addiction or is looking for a more holistic approach to recovery, Villa Kali Ma welcomes you. 

What if I told you that the power of observation may be the secret you’ve been looking for to unlock the magic in your world? Through the profound and already-present quiet joy in your life, it could be! But what is quiet joy, and how can you find it?

What counts as “quiet joy”? 

We already know that small things can have a big impact. Put simply, quiet joy is anything that is easily overlooked or often considered unimportant. Quiet joy is not about the big things or the active parts of our lives. It’s a passive observation of the things you’re already experiencing through your daily routine or the life that’s happening now. 

You are worthy of soft pleasures in life and quiet joy, and you are already rich in the experiences that provide them. To help you make the most of that, we’ve gathered our six favorite tips for harnessing the power of observation without creating more obligation. 

Our life-changing tips to find quiet joy every day 

1. Fit gratitude into new spaces. 

There are so many beautiful practices that center around gratitude in our lives, but when is the last time you scaled it down into the micro-moments of your day? Gratitude journaling is great, but what about gratitude notetaking, mood boarding or photography? Consider a practice that you can fit into any moment through the use of your phone, a journal or something else that you’ve always got at the tip of your fingers. You can use an app designed for it like Pinterest, or just the Notes app or photo albums on your phone to collect observations of gratitude you experience as you move through your daily life. 

2. Let your intuition lead you toward magic. 

You know, deep down, what helps you to see the wonder that exists in the world. Recognizing the implicit magic in the things that happen in your life is a skill you already have. Through conditioning, that skill becomes suppressed- you begin to recognize the magic in the expensive, novel or hallmark moments in life instead of all the places they reside. You may feel silly or a little bit ashamed by the joy of a sunset or the smell of a new book, but you shouldn’t! Trust those moments when you feel excited or enamoured by the ordinary moments in your life. Your intuition is showing you the everyday places the extraordinary is already present. 

3. Re-write your self-talk about value. 

You are not only valuable when you are performing to the expectations of yourself and others. Try practicing self-talk that’s observational for the magic that already exists in you. When you feel tempted to criticize yourself for a thought or feeling, try observing it. Instead of “I never get things right the first time”, you can try observing that you need a learning moment. Now you’ve made use of an experience that felt frustrating and the power of your observation can become a part of the narrative you have about yourself instead of just criticism.

4. Notice the mundane with intention. 

The power of the extraordinary still exists in our everyday lives, but we stop noticing it as a product of our constant activity. Each day, try narrating a different mundane part of your day to yourself. This may feel silly at first but you can harness some of the magic you’ve forgotten to feel simply by noticing it. So today when you make your afternoon snack or you wash your face tonight, narrate the process to yourself and observe all the actions, small and simple, that are contributing to the ways you experience care in your life. 

5. Choose one way to connect with your body every day. 

Whether you’re spending a few minutes in meditation or choosing a more hands-on approach like exercise or orgasms, return to the power of your physical presence for a few minutes each day. Doing one activity every day that makes you feel empowered in your body creates joy in a multitude of ways. When you stop thinking about the way you think about your body, you can feel about it instead. Take a moment to feel your body however is best for you and soak up the joy that brings you. 

6. Create something. 

Creation is one of the most empowering yet overlooked soft pleasures in life. Did you make yourself lunch? You created that meal- from the idea of it to the sustenance it’s provided to your body. Have you worked with your hands lately? That’s creating, whether you knitted a sweater or rearranged your spice cabinet. Creativity is an expansive part of our lives and, when we marvel at the magic we can create (see what we did there?), your creative power unfolds before you.

The extraordinary power of your intuition is on your side 

The soft pleasures are “a great pleasure in waiting”.  You already recognize the power of pleasure and of the experiences of life. Through intuition and excitement, quiet joy exists in your life and is available to you through the energy you expend already. It costs nothing extra in time or effort when you tune into your intuition. The challenge in recognizing and accessing quiet joy is to sit with them and turn your observation toward the everyday experience of living. When you do, you will find the pleasure they bring has been there for you all along. 

If you or someone you know is ready to unlock quiet joy in substance abuse recovery and beyond, Villa Kali Ma has a variety of programs available now. Get in touch today. 

The experience of storytelling is magical, and when you’ve got your pen in hand, a kaleidoscope of possibility is open to you. We invite you to join us on a journey to discover the impact of story, imagination and narrative power on your personal growth. 

You can escape into any story 

Have you ever become so immersed in a film, album, or book that you forget you’re simply a visitor in a fictional world? The power of storytelling (in any form) to help you get outside your own head and feel from a space beyond your own experience is unique and consuming. 

When your life story is colored by addiction and trauma, you may wonder if any form of escapism can be healthy. For many people, the only way beyond trauma is to find a way to recount what happened and process the event from a safe distance, psychologically. Evidence based trauma therapy techniques like EMDR function from a similar philosophy. 

As a treatment method, you can use the power of story to help you escape from your own mind when you become stuck. This kind of healthy escapism can allow you to reframe the emotions you’re experiencing by creating a new framework that’s removed from your experience, but one that allows you to get closer to it. Escapism alone isn’t a healthy way to heal long-term but it can be the coping mechanism you need to draw a full breath and gather your energy to keep moving forward. 

Storytelling can help in many ways 

Your story continues to happen within you, even when you are taking a break from processing the story so far. That story, your life, and your experiences are the narrative you tell yourself and others about what you’ve experienced. You can harness the power of your memories and emotions by viewing them through a creative lens and, according to research, doing so can help you to heal too. 

When you tell your story, you have the opportunity to reclaim those moments with the power of perspective we often gain in hindsight. Let’s talk about a couple of those benefits in more detail! 

You can create safety through storytelling 

When you tell yourself the story of an experience you’ve had, you may find opportunities to explore the reactions and emotions you felt through an abstract detachment. Doing this through a story where you are the narrator and author of what’s happened, can empower you to explore more deeply without the inhibition of time or pressure. 

You can write another ending 

Trauma can create blockages that prevent healing or true exploration of your own emotional scope. It’s difficult to move past these moments when you can’t process them without reliving the pain they caused. Through storytelling, you can rewrite that ending and explore the story in a new way. 

While doing so won’t allow you to actually change the way things played out, it can create a sense of peace or escapism within your truth that helps you to process the pain you felt. 

Self-talk and unconditional positive regard 

Story doesn’t just happen through creative or exploratory means. You are telling the story of your safety daily with the way that you talk to yourself. When you read a particularly intense thriller or a spicy scene in a novel, do you feel the press of adrenaline and the emotional risk? The same thing happens with the way you speak to yourself. 

When you hear words of judgment and criticism alongside your thoughts, you’ll begin to feel defensive before you’ve even seen the end of that thought story. 

Through unconditional positive regard, your internal narrative can become a space of unrelenting acceptance for your experiences. Rewriting the tone and words you use to speak to yourself can help you to reframe every story you’ve been a part of, and all the stories you’ve yet to live, from the foundation of your thoughts. 

Does the way I talk to myself really matter?

The way you speak to yourself will be the lens through which you view the stories of the rest of the world. With that in mind, how could it not matter? 

Use thoughtful words with deliberately neutral language when you are feeling emotionally fragile in order to head off a spiral of thought that will take your story to much darker spaces than you need. Likewise, you can use encouraging words when you feel confident to validate your experiences and increase the availability of power and curiosity to continue to explore those feelings. 

Your power is infinite in your story 

At the heart of it all, amid the tapestry of story that makes up each of our lives, you are the pillar of power in your story. You are more than the story of pain, fear, or trauma that may root you to a moment or reaction that feels unsafe. You are more than one victory or one regret. You are an infinite storybook, and you hold the incredible possibility presented with the knowledge that brings. 

If you are ready to explore the story of substance abuse in your life in order to create a holistic story of healing, reach out to us today. 

(760) 350-3131

We’ve been there. You feel your blood pulsing as the anger rises and then- wait, what? Why am I crying? If you’ve been caught out and are fed up with tears making an unwelcome appearance in your frustration, read on to learn why it happens! 

The way we think about anger isn’t always honest 

When you think about anger, what do you imagine? In films and television, you’re most likely to see anger as a loud external experience. There might be yelling, banging or slamming. The tension in these manufactured expressions of emotion is high, visibly so, and through these visual associations, we come to understand anger as those expressions. It is not. Anger itself can be quiet or lingering. 

Like other emotions, it wears many hats, but there is something unique about anger: it is often just a mask for other emotions. Anger is a secondary emotion, one that’s often caused by or layered over other emotions that you feel first and may find more difficult to sit with. Emotions like grief, fear, loss, confusion or rejection may be at the root of the anger you feel when it brings tears to your eyes. 

How do I stop crying when I’m angry?

To begin disassociating the experience of tears with anger, it’s valuable to spend time exploring why we cry when we feel anger. Science suggests it’s a way of self soothing, so your angry tears are nothing to be ashamed of. They are a healthy and healing way of processing an emotion that can be difficult to feel for you on every level.

Anger is complex and can be draining for your physical body, your mental reserves, and it can even tap the tanks of your spiritual well being. To stop crying when you feel angry, it’s vital that you also stop judging yourself for these complex emotional connections and begin to create space to feel each of them. 

The secret to this tip is that it’s not a tip at all. There is nothing wrong with tears or frustration. Crying, nor anger, are inherently bad things. Both experiences invite you to feel deeply the truth of your experience with your emotions. To do so, they insist that you drop all pretenses and you may feel vulnerable or embarrassed by the rawness that is required of you. That’s okay!

5 Ways to feel safe in your body and mind 

1. Breathwork that engages your whole body. 

The way you bring air into your body is a powerful tool you can use to help regulate your wellbeing. Seem revolutionary? It is! Breathwork is a skill you can master with your body, mind and the draw of oxygen. There are many different methods of breathing with different purposes designed to help you feel safe at an emotional or physiological level. Some types of breathwork good for supporting anger are: belly breathing, 4-7-8 breathing, and ujayi breathing. 

2. Intentional movement that empowers you. 

The incredible thing about bodies is that you can use yours in any way that empowers you. For some people, they find release in movement like running, swimming, hiking or aerobics. Other women may enjoy practices like yoga, ballet or martial arts. But established exercise styles aren’t the only intentional movement available to you. If you feel connected to yourself through movement like roller skating, labyrinth walking or even simple stretching, all of these kinds of movements are intentional choices that you can celebrate and use to help you find grounding when emotions feel too overwhelming. 

3. Focus on the big picture.

Have you heard the expression, “to see the forest for the trees”? It can be tempting to pour all of your energy into the metaphorical tree you can see most clearly in a moment where you feel angry, frustrated or lost. It can also be a false safety net. While sometimes you need to move one small step at a time, that’s not always.
When you are feeling overwhelmed by the magnitude of your emotions, try taking a step back to see the emotion as part of the forest instead of the totality of your being. Put it into the perspective of all feelings so that it’s more comfortable to make sense of the way it feels in your body right now. 

4. Root into the world around you. 

Like those trees, rooting can be a powerful way to create space for safety in your emotional and physical self. Ground yourself in the most literal sense by putting your feet on the Earth and feeling the energy that comes through the bare grass, stone, dirt or sand beneath you. If doing this helps you to feel safe in your body with the Earth’s energy through your feet, you can try sitting on the ground or lying down and letting yourself sink into the Earth. Practice your breathwork for a meditative experience to reconnect with your sense of safety. 

5. Remember to play. 

This seemingly simple tip may be the most valuable one on our list. Play is a powerful part of the human experience, yet so many of us stop prioritizing play as schedules, stress and obligations overtake our days. Remember to take time to play as it remains the most powerful way to learn at any age. 

If you’re looking for more tips on processing anger and finding space to play through your recovery, call Villa Kali Ma today to get started on the next steps to safety in your life. 

(760) 350-3131

The longest day of the year is here. Are you ready?

On June 21, Summer officially arrives and with it, we’ll get more than four extra hours of sun! Summer solstice boasts the most daylight of any day in the year. It’s the perfect time to connect with nature, reconnect with yourself and renew your energy. Let’s talk about the power of solstice in harmonizing your body, mind and spirit with the force of nature in all her glory. 

What is summer solstice?

Occurring twice each year, solstice marks the maximum (summer) and minimum (winter) number of daylight hours in a calendar year. The summer solstice has celebratory roots that date back well past Shakespeare (though he memorialized it as well in Midsummer Night’s Dream) and span the entire globe. Across the world, people celebrate solstice in a variety of ways. In some countries, it’s a holiday and in many, it’s a party. The celebrations root right back to connecting with nature and honoring the incredible power of our planet and the four elements: fire, water, earth and air. 

Why you should reconnect with yourself during this time

Summer solstice is the perfect time to cultivate a practice of care that will carry you through the rest of this year and beyond. It’s a beautiful benchmark that’s noted not by a date on the calendar but the position of the sun. Every day, you can watch the rise and set of the sun and remind yourself of the constant ebb and flow of growth and rest. These things are both present in the sun’s daily rhythm, and they’re present in you as well. Like the sun, you are constant and ever changing. Your best is possible only when you honor both of those truths. You can find comfort in the knowledge that you are honoring yourself with the rest that the day takes with the sinking sun. 

The start of something new is the perfect time to refocus on your goals and ground yourself into the here and now. If you’ve been feeling stressed out or out of sorts, Summer’s new leaf is the perfect time to reconnect with your inner goddess and solstice helps you maximize your potential by giving you extra hours of wakeful energy in the day. 

It’s an astrological strength boost

If you’re into astrology, you’ll know that solstice marks the start of Cancer season every year. 2022’s summer solstice also falls one week after the strawberry supermoon and just 6 days ahead of Neptune retrograde. If you’re not into astrology, all of those things culminate to foster a sense of connection between yourself and the world around you. This solstice may offer you a sense of heightened awareness of your own intuition. You should trust that connection to your inner self. Lean into the solstice’s powermove of taking up space, and let your strength and knowing shine like the sun. 

Tips to soak up those solstice vibes 

Ready to make this summer solstice the source of strength and shine in your life? We are too! We’ve cultivated these tips just for you, to help you connect with yourself, your sun and the ground beneath your feet this summer. 

Get outside 

Whether you prefer to sink your toes into the warm golden sand or you want to take a hike up the hillside and into the forest, spend some time in nature for solstice. Honor the sun by connecting with the earth and welcoming these extra hours of daylight in a way that feels good to your body, mind and soul. The holistic appreciation of connectedness is best harnessed when you’re spending time outside.

Have a mini-festival

Call it anything you like: a party, a barbecue or a gathering! Bring together your loved ones to help you welcome summer with the excitement you’ve been building as you awaited the arrival of the season of warmth. Create a playlist and make your favorite snacks, then share them with the people who mean the most to you. 

Connect with the elements 

Do you feel particularly empowered by an element of nature? Maybe you enjoy the deep mossy scent of the forest, a gentle breeze, or the feel of water on your skin. No matter what part of the natural world connects most with your soul, try to spend some quality time rooting into that for solstice. Plan a trip to your favorite embodiment of the element that empowers you and share this summer start with yourself in harmony with nature. 

Solstice is celebrated across the world because there is no geographical or conceptual limit to the ways the world and the power of the sun on your skin can impact your life. For many people, solstice is the start of something new- it’s like a refresh in the middle of the year. You can spend the day catching your breath, soaking up nature or finding other ways to reconnect with yourself. There is no wrong way to honor the day where the daylight hours are turned up to maximum capacity every year. 

If you or a loved one is looking for a safe space to reconnect with yourself and root into recovery from substance abuse, Villa Kali Ma is here to welcome you this solstice and beyond.