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Mental Health

The Many Types of Mental Health Disorders

There are many types of mental health disorders. While many of these can share similar symptoms, it’s important to understand that a disorder may affect one person differently than another. For this reason, it’s always best to seek professional evaluation and guidance. A professional offering sustainable recovery will have the experience and insight needed to guide you along your journey as you strive to heal your mind, body, and spirit.

In this article, we’re exploring several common types of mental health disorders. If you suspect you may be experiencing one of the following mental health disorders and turn to substances to self-medicate uncomfortable feelings, consider exploring the benefits of co-occurring disorder treatment.

Types of Mental Health Disorders

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) contains close to 200 diagnoses, and it would be outside the scope of this article to begin to list them all. Thankfully, the authors of the current DSM have neatly categorized the various disorders underneath headings that encompass the core of the concern. The following are some of the major categories of disorder, as well as a few of the more common diagnoses ascribed to them.

Here are several common types of mental health disorders and variations.

Anxiety-Related Disorders

Having a sense of anxiety is perfectly normal when being faced with a genuine threat. Anxiety stems from our instinctual flight-or-fight response and is the body’s way of preparing for danger. When we carry around that high level of alertness throughout the course of a normal day, however, an anxiety disorder may be the cause.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Generalized anxiety disorder is one of the most frequently diagnosed mental disorders. It is characterized by feeling a sense of dread, worry, or anxiousness, but without having a direct source of concern to point a finger at. Those struggling with GAD may find themselves struggling to concentrate and unable to get a good night of sleep, and may also experience physical symptoms related to the stress.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety is something that many of us experience as teens. If we are unable to move past this developmental feeling of awkwardness around others, we may be suffering from a social anxiety disorder. People with this disorder will excessively worry about how others may be judging them and will be unable to relax in social situations.

Mood Disorders

When we think of mood, most of us think of feelings. While feelings are definitely linked to mood, your mood is more of a state of predisposition. When our mood orientation is negative or fluctuating, our feelings tend to follow suit.

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

Major depressive disorder is another very common diagnosis. With MDD, a person will consistently feel hopeless, sad, and unmotivated to move forward in life. The level of diagnosis will be specified based on the severity and recurrence of the symptoms, ranging from mild to severe.

Bipolar Disorder

Compared to the doldrums of MDD, bipolar disorder may seem like it has some benefits. Rather than only feeling depressed, a person with bipolar disorder will also experience intense periods of feeling good. Unfortunately, these manic periods often come with lapses in judgment that can result in regrettable actions.

Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorders

The diagnoses found underneath this category in the DSM-V were once placed in various other sections. As our knowledge of the impact of trauma grew, crafters of the manual determined that it deserved a category of its own. Diagnoses under this category may also be accompanied by many of the symptoms described in others.

The most common diagnosis found under this category is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD.) The criteria for being diagnosed with PTSD include the onset of symptoms following exposure to a traumatic event. The event can be caused by first-hand experience or second-hand exposure to a traumatic event. The subjective nature of what constitutes trauma, combined with the individual’s ability to process the events, makes the condition of PTSD best left in the hands of an experienced professional.

Personality Disorders

Unlike other disorders, personality disorders are generally considered to be something a person has been – and will be – living with for her lifetime. Focus on specific personality disorders tends to follow a trend, with some of the types of diagnoses falling out of the limelight, while others gain attention.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

One of the fastest-growing categories of personality disorder is that of borderline personality disorder. General consensus is that those with this disorder have undergone some sort of difficulty in childhood, resulting in an adult life that is maladapted to the requirements of adult functioning. A person with borderline personality disorder has difficulty forming healthy relationships with others, will tend to experience severe mood swings, and suffers from a poor sense of self.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Women with NPD are unlikely to seek mental health treatment on their own, which can make arriving upon a definitive diagnosis difficult. NPD is characterized by an inflated sense of self-worth and a callous approach toward the needs and feelings of others.

Psychoses

Diagnoses related to psychosis have common symptoms of hallucination, delusion, and disorganized thinking. In some cases, the psychosis can manifest as catatonia, which is the absence of response to external and internal stimuli. The subtle differences in expression will determine which diagnosis best captures what is going on for a person with psychosis. By far, the most common diagnosis of psychosis is that of Schizophrenia. Other forms of psychosis include Schizoaffective Disorder and Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Each of these diagnoses varies in the amount of disruption that they cause in the daily life of the sufferer.

Neurodevelopmental Disorders

When it comes to mental health, it can be difficult to determine which symptoms are related to a mental state, and which are related to the actual structure of the neurons in the brain. Experts have determined that certain types of disorders are based on the latter. Mood and behavioral disturbances for those diagnosed in this category are typically connected to the differing ways that the brain works. Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Intellectual Disability, and Autism Spectrum Disorders all fall into this category.

Substance Abuse Disorders (SUD)

Substance abuse disorders and mental health are increasingly being taken into consideration as co-existing conditions. The DSM has a myriad of SUD diagnoses. They are categorized on the basis of which type of drug is being used, how frequently, and which mental health symptoms are arising as a result. Mental health symptoms associated with SUD include all of the anxiety and mood disorders, as well as symptoms of psychosis.

Conclusion

There are many types of mental health disorders, each of which can have a unique effect on how you feel. If you believe you might identify with any of the mental health disorders mentioned above and you regularly turn to alcohol or prescription drugs as a form of self-medication, it’s time to reach out for help.

Explore the benefits of sustainable recovery at Villa Kali Ma and discover the inspiration you need to move forward with confidence.

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Mental Health

6 Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders

An anxiety disorder is a mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry or fear. Though this type of mental health disorder can impact us all differently, there are several common signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders.

Anxiety disorders are the most common type of mental disorder in the United States. Each year, over 18% of adults suffer from symptoms of anxiety that are worthy of a diagnosis, and statistics are indicating this number has increased over the course of the 2020 pandemic.

With the vast availability of the information available on the internet, finding data to confirm suspicions of anxiety disorder has become an easy task. There are several commons signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders, including excessive worry, fatigue, and more.

If you feel the following symptoms of anxiety disorders and attempt to self-medicate the uncomfortable feelings with alcohol or prescription medication, consider exploring the benefits of treatment for co-occurring disorders.

Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders

Not all anxiety is bad. In fact, anxiety is a sign that our minds and bodies are prepared to get us out of a dangerous situation.

Anxiety is a mechanism of the flight-or-fight response, which has evolved to help humans to survive. When we are faced with a genuine life-or-death scenario, we want our anxiety to be in full effect.

If the anxiety is operating out of context or persists for an unreasonable amount of time, an anxiety disorder may be at the root. In order for a diagnosis of anxiety disorder to apply, several of the following symptoms must be present.

Here are several common signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders.

Excessive Worry

It can be difficult to determine what constitutes an excessive amount of worry. Each of us has our own way of going about things, and we all encounter problems which we have to solve in our own, unique, way.

In general, the amount of worry can be considered excessive if it is interfering with your ability to go about daily life in a normal fashion. If it has you spinning your mental wheels continually, but with no real solution in sight, it might be considered excessive. If the worry persists for six months or more, it might be considered excessive.

Finally, if the amount and duration of the worry are much more severe than the average person would consider putting into a similar scenario, your worry may be considered excessive.

Insomnia

With all of that worry going on, one can imagine that it would be hard to slip off into dreamland and enjoy a blissful sleep.

Insomnia can include anything from not being able to fall asleep in the first place, to not being able to stay asleep throughout the night, to waking up far too early.

Challenges with sleeping can also be a symptom of physical health changes – such as menopause and aging – which makes it important to consider other factors when exploring a diagnosis of anxiety.

Fatigue

Combine constant worry and difficulty sleeping, and you’ve got the prime variables for creating fatigue.

Some may be surprised to learn that mental activity can be even more draining on the body than physical activity. Thinking is such a strenuous activity, that the brain actually uses up calories to do it. While the average person will only rely on a small amount of brain energy to go about the day, the brain of a person with anxiety is in overdrive.

By the time you try to hit the bed at night, you will have expended the energy needed for a mental marathon. Worse still, your brain may refuse to stop running long enough for you to recharge through sleeping.

Difficulty Concentrating

By now, it is easy to see the way that excessive anxiety creates a score of interwoven problems.

Yet another of those is that of inability to concentrate. Not only is the brain of an anxious person exhausted, but it is also consumed with the focus of the worry. Remembering the flight-or-fight response that is at the root of anxiety, it can be surmised that our minds are not designed to think about anything other than what it perceives as a threat.

For the anxious mind, the threat is never-ending. Instinct tells us that our survival depends on being able to eliminate the threat, and our brains won’t let up on the task until it feels safe.

Thinking about mundane topics such as office work and household chores is not considered to be a survival necessity during times of anxiety.

Irritability

Being asked to concentrate on something else while your brain is screaming at you that there is danger afoot can be extremely annoying.

Life is rolling on while the anxious person is invisibly consumed, and others are not likely to have any idea about the inner turmoil that is being experienced.

They may be shocked, hurt, or angry at the irritation that the anxious person expresses when being asked to spare some of the drained attention span on trivial issues.

We only have so much energy to give to others in a day, and the anxious person is running on an empty tank.

Physical Problems

While it can be easy to consider that anxiety is confined to a mental problem, the fact is that it all ties into our biology.

The body is not designed to be in a constant state of alertness. It is designed to amp up long enough to deal with a problem, and then return to a state of homeostasis.

For a person struggling with persistent anxiety, the body is being asked to stay in a perpetual state of readiness for action. Eventually, the resources devoted to this unreasonable task mean that focus is diverted away from tending to other, vital, biological functions.

Persistent anxiety can eventually result in a myriad of physical problems, including digestive issues, muscle pain, irregular heartbeat, increased blood pressure, and migraines.

Types of Anxiety Disorder

While there are several common signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders, an anxiety disorder may impact one woman differently than another woman.

The specific scenarios in which the anxiety is experienced, and the approaches taken in an attempt to relieve the anxiety, will inform your mental health provider as to which anxiety-related diagnosis is most appropriate for your situation.

These factors can range from feeling anxious across all situations for most of the day to only feeling anxious under certain conditions. The severity of symptoms can be described anywhere from mildly distracting to all-consuming.

If you find yourself self-medicating with alcohol or prescription drugs to self-medicate these underlying conditions, consider the benefits of dual-diagnosis treatment. Explore the benefits of holistic recovery and discover the inspiration and guidance needed to help you calm the mind, body, and soul.

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Mental Health Substance Abuse

The Mental Health and Substance Abuse Connection

There is a clear connection between mental health and substance abuse. People often turn to substances as a means of numbing uncomfortable feelings, including depression, anxiety, and trauma. This type of self-medication is dangerous because it can lead to the development of substance abuse and addiction.

In this article, we’re taking a closer look at the clear connection between mental health and substance abuse.

Mental Health and Substance Abuse

There was a time when struggles with substance abuse were considered to be indicative of a failure in character on behalf of the user. So-called alcoholics and drug addicts were considered to be lazy, avoidant of responsibilities, and social miscreants. Society preferred to gossip and cluck tongues about the addict, and then sweep them under the rug as often as possible.

Perhaps it was due to the growing knowledge of prescribed medications contributing to so many addictions, but, at some point, society shifted away from blaming the victim in this scenario. Drug and alcohol addiction began to be recognized not only as a problem for the individual and society but also as being a symptom of underlying factors. Substance abuse is not only treated as a medical condition but also an integrated factor of mental health.

Here’s what you need to know about the connection between mental health and substance abuse.

Co-occurring Disorders

Rather than being kept in a bubble, substance abuse issues are increasingly being treated in tandem with mental health issues. It has been found that nearly 10 million people in the United States suffer from mental health issues which both exacerbate, and are exacerbated by, simultaneous substance abuse. While it can be a type of chicken-and-egg scenario, the high rate of these two factors existing simultaneously has given rise to the perspective of approaching substance abuse as a co-occurring disorder.

Learn more about treatment for co-occurring disorders.

Mental Health Factors Contributing to Substance Abuse

Psychological studies have consistently linked the presence of preexisting mental health disorders to the increased likelihood of engaging in substance abuse behaviors. In therapist circles, this phenomenon is often referred to as self-medicating behavior. A person with an undiagnosed or untreated mental health disorder will attempt to alleviate the uncomfortable symptoms through using alcohol or illicit drugs. Once the mental health issues are appropriately and adequately addressed, such a person may no longer feel the need to attempt to escape through substance abuse. The following are a handful of common mental health conditions that can tempt a person toward using substances.

Depression

The experience of depression is a prime candidate for the temptation to self-medicate. Symptoms of depression include feeling hopeless, lacking in motivation to make changes, and not being able to take joy in daily activities. Depressed people who experiment with substances may find the initial experiences to bring a welcome relief from the weight of despair, not realizing that the temporary reprieve can turn into a spiral of dependence and addiction.

Start healing with a holistic approach to depression.

Anxiety

While those with depression can suffer from a lack of energy, those suffering from anxiety can have too much of it. A person with anxiety will tend to feel keyed up and nervous, even during situations where there is no rational reason for it. Using a non-prescribed substance to calm the nerves can help an anxious person to feel more normal while interacting and relaxing.

Learn more holistic anxiety treatment for women.

Psychosis

As one can imagine, living daily with the symptoms of psychosis can be stressful. Psychosis is characterized as experiencing auditory and visual hallucinations, and as believing in things that other people find absurd or bizarre. The constant barrage of voices, visions, and far-out ideas experienced by people living with such a reality can lead to desperate attempts to shut it down and just relax for a bit. These attempts to indulge in a sense of normality can include using alcohol or illicit drugs.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is included last on this list because it can encompass all of the above symptoms. A person suffering from PTSD has been exposed to some form of a traumatic event in their past. Rather than being able to move past this trauma, the mind, emotions, and body refuse to let it go. The traumatized person can experience a range of mental states and emotions and may turn to alcohol or drugs in an attempt to stabilize.

Learn more about PTSD treatment programs for women.

Substance Abuse Effects on Mental Health

Those who attempt to treat their mental health symptoms with substance abuse may be surprised to learn that the long-term effects of doing so can not only increase those symptoms but also create new ones. Many of us have heard stories of one bad trip resulting in a permanent break from reality. Using substances can also result in scenarios where we find ourselves in genuine danger, resulting in experiencing trauma.

Substance abuse also has a way of robbing us of our ability to experience peace and joy while sober. The following are some of the commonly abused drugs and their potential impact on mental health.

Alcohol

Alcohol is in a rare category when it comes to substance abuse, as it both legal and promoted as a recreational medium within our culture. The benefits of alcohol consumption include feeling more relaxed and able to enjoy the events of the day. What alcohol gives, however, can also end up taking away. Those who persist in heavy alcohol consumption will eventually find that they are unable to enjoy anything without it, which is a symptom of depression.

Marijuana

Marijuana is rapidly joining the ranks of alcohol when it comes to being legal and socially acceptable to use. Proponents of marijuana use cite its tendency to help a person relax before a stressful event or after a long day. For those who indulge in excessive amounts of the drug, this relaxation can turn into an inability to find the motivation to move forward in life. Lacking motivation is a primary symptom that is associated with depression. As with any drug, excessive use of marijuana can result in the development of dependence. Once you develop a dependence on marijuana, you may find it difficult to accomplish basic daily tasks over time.

Opioids

The dangers of opioid addiction came to light over the past decade. Not only were doctors over-prescribing the addictive medication, but users found ways to score the drugs outside of a prescription. When the prescription pills were no longer available, some addicted persons turned to use heroin. While the emotional and physical highs produced by opioids can be pleasurable, the cost of using can be the development of chronic depression.

Amphetamines

Amphetamines, and methamphetamine, fall into the category of stimulant drugs. Users may experience the benefits of increased energy and decreased feelings of vulnerability. Along with these superhuman powers comes a high risk of developing symptoms of psychosis. The experience of paranoia, disorganized thinking, hallucinations, and delusions can persist long after the drugs are ceased, and can even end up being permanent.

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Mental Health

Symptoms of Depression in Women

Many times, when we can’t bring ourselves to get ready for the day when we crawl back into bed in the middle of the afternoon, we wonder to ourselves, “What’s wrong with me? Am I depressed?” When we lie awake in the middle of the night listening to the echoes of that self-critical voice, we think, is it anxiety? We quickly Google “symptoms of depression in women” and hope to find an easy fix.

Although we may think that we’re familiar with the symptoms of depression, we have also become familiar with that this information is not, in and of itself, healing to us. As many women know, depression does not always steal your smile. Instead, we as women have grown especially adept at concealing our emotions and locking our hearts away.

The saddest faces can hide behind smiles so convincing, where even the one wearing it may not realize the truth it conceals. While humans contain the capacity for the full spectrum of emotion, the shame surrounding our expression of them has pushed so many of our complicated feelings into the shadowy corners of our lives. Swallowing our emotions until they escape our awareness doesn’t always lead to a diagnosable condition.

But it can. Depression affects every part of us, body, mind, and soul, although it doesn’t always look like we expect. The symptoms of depression in women freely run as wild as the emotions we’re capable of. So let’s talk about what some of those shadowy symptoms may look or feel like.

Cloudy Thoughts

Depression doesn’t always scream at you. Like clouds, we experience it in many shapes and intensities as it blocks the connection to our light source and filters the way we see the world. Instead of thinking of depression as storm clouds and pervasive doom, it may make more sense with your experience to consider depression as a gloom that has settled over your mind. This fog makes it difficult to:

    • Find motivation.
    • Recall trains of thought.
    • Or even connect with moments of happiness.

Other days, the storm clouds roll through. Raging thoughts and lightning strikes of guilt, fear, and pangs of worthlessness hit close to home, damaging your sense of who you are. Depression can make you feel like you don’t matter or that you shouldn’t. When it’s so cloudy inside your head, helplessness sets in, and you retain little hope for sunny weather.

Unstable Emotions

Both intensities of emotion and emptiness can be symptoms of depression in women. You may already be familiar with the classic definition of depression, where you feel profoundly sad. However, this intensity can also transfer to other emotions. Responding impulsively to something that may not ruffle you ordinarily can be confusing to manage and make you feel like a stranger in your own skin.

Intense restlessness along with feelings of anger or frustration may all be telltale signs of depression. On the flip side, depression may leave you with a jarring sense of numbness in place of emotions you’ve felt pretty consistently. And it’s not just those happy emotions that may suddenly feel inaccessible. We expect to feel unhappy in depression — we’re practically conditioned to it.

It’s the sense of feeling numb that really can drive us to madness. If you’re struggling to feel frustration for something that’s always bothered you, or you aren’t feeling passionately engaged in causes that once meant a lot to you, it may be depression. Feeling empty and untouched by powerful emotions can signify that it’s time to explore what’s going on at a deeper level. 

Our Body in Pain

The hurt that so often goes hand-in-hand with depression doesn’t just apply to your heart or the way your thoughts feel inside your head. Perhaps that nagging muscle cramp or the stomach ache you can’t shake doesn’t really have anything to do with the way you’ve been treating your body (though please treat your body with kindness, it’s important). Depression can cause physical symptoms like headaches, nausea, joint pain, cramps, and maybe the culprit of what you’re experiencing.

Depression can settle in the physical body just as much as it can invade our thoughts. The mind is a powerful and inventive thing, and persistent aches and pains can result from our attempts to ignore it. When we don’t heed our emotional signs of distress, the body will whisper what the mind pushes away in a manner that you can no longer ignore. Your body may change in response to how depression feels. You may gain or lose weight, and your appetite will fluctuate. You may feel extra tired or entirely unable to sleep.

One Size Does Not Fit All

Though pop culture and media essentially paint a singular image of what depression looks like, many variables may present from woman to woman. While those depictions of sadness, lethargy, and withdrawal may be accurate for several depressive experiences, they are not the only presentation.

Depression can look like overachieving, never sleeping, always doing, or constantly ‘on.’ It may even look like wildly swinging between them. Not only can the symptoms of depression themselves differ, but the length of them, as well as their intensity, can vary.

Healing Symptoms of Depression in Women

The most consistent thing about depression is that it’s inconsistent. Symptoms vary across many extremes in nearly every facet of who you are. It is crucial to remember that no matter how depression invades your body or your thoughts, you are not your depression any more than the sky is the weather. Please pay attention to your symptoms and try not to discount them.

Seeking support for your depression is the most reliable way to manage the symptoms and move toward a life with more predictable weather systems. When depression symptoms cloud your skies, you are not alone. Here at Villa Kali Ma, when your depression coincides with addiction, we will help you build shelter until the storm passes and even embrace the battery for the new life it brings.

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Mental Health

Tiny Habits to Boost Your Recovery That You Can Start Today

I was anxiously lamenting all the little fires in my life to a friend over tea recently.

“There’s so much, and I don’t even know where to begin. How do you rebuild everything from nothing?” I cried out, having talked myself into a frenzy at the sheer magnitude of the pressures I faced.

She regarded me with a steady gaze, “Well, how do you eat an elephant?”

She paused.

“One bite a time.”

Her silly and slightly disturbing mental image filled my mind, and close on its heels was the heavyweight of realization. Nothing needs to be solved in one fell swoop. Tiny habits, not massive overhauls, are the first steps to sustainable change. Through goal setting with bite-sized chunks of life’s elephants, you can (and will!) overcome them.

Start now.

New Year’s Resolutions have this way of making us feel prepared. Outlines and action plans can give us an illusion of control over our success. But often, when we start them, we become paralyzed by the magnitude of change and quit. In fact, the enthusiastic hope-plan-doom cycle of a resolution contributes to failure almost 80% of the time.

Take charge of your time, boost your recovery and your future. There is no perfect moment coming that will unlock your success, but every step forward will benefit you. Make it a habit to start now, not in five minutes or five days, to reap big rewards.

Prioritize yourself.

Establishing a habit is a commitment. Most often, the hardest ones to keep are the “To me; Love, me” kind. The ones that benefit you and are led by your action. It can feel selfish and like an indulgence. But it is not. Making yourself a priority is the gift that keeps on giving.

Allow space for the things you want and need, then hold that space for them. Make this your first tiny habit, as it will be the key to ensuring you do not slip into harmful coping mechanisms when those wants and needs are ignored.

Small but mighty change.

When you feel untethered, handing over your power can be a struggle, but it’s not always necessary. Cliché as it sounds, sustainability must begin from the inside out. Many mini-mind shifts will produce powerful results without involving anyone but you.

The holistic healing staff at Villa Kali Ma suggest incorporating into your daily schedule little habits like mindful breathing, a short yoga flow, or reframing the words and emotions you use to express yourself. These can offer small shifts with a big influence. Other small but mighty changes you can make are:

    • Offer kindness to others when you are feeling low.
    • Google something interesting. Anything, really, but learning something new can productively engage your mind.
    • Start your day with a glass of water.
    • However, feels good to you. Just get your thoughts out on paper for a few minutes every day.

Think about it.

It seems so simple, but how often do you take the time to sit with an idea and flesh it out? Spend time with those ideas (even the worries). Take inventory of them, and process them accordingly. Intrusive thoughts can feel intense, even when they’re good ones. We are often told to stop the spirals in our heads.

What if sometimes the answer is thinking them through?
To pause and give them space.

Use a timer to give yourself a structured few minutes. Then pause and consider as many of those loose ends as you can. Spend time with the thought in its entirety, even if it’s uncomfortable. This tiny habit of giving yourself permission to pause and make space for your thoughts and feelings can have powerful results, and the cue is already ingrained when you feel that building push of an idea, pause.

Lean on experts.

Tiny Habits aficionado BJ Fogg has a reputation you can rely on- and you should. With more than two decades of research into a sustainable life change, Dr. Fogg supports small changes to make the most impact. Fogg suggests getting highly specific to optimize the prompt you’ll use to engage it.  Using the combined force of motivation, ability, and a prompt within a moment, you can establish a behavior. Boost your recovery by allowing it to motivate you.

Set your habits with intention and specificity, but don’t eat your elephant in one big gulp. Small bites, tiny habits, and consistent effort toward your end goal will move you steadily toward it. Allow expertise to strengthen your resolve and support the habits you put into motion right now. If you find you need some assistance to boost your recovery or begin your healing journey, Villa Kali Ma offers a holistic program that supports setting goals and teaches mindfulness practices.

Contact us today to learn more about sustainable recovery and the life change available to you when you are in a supportive environment like Villa Kali Ma.

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Mental Health Wellness

Should You Keep a Journal This Year?

Journal. Diary. Blog. Archive. Memoir.

There is a myriad of names for the timeless act of recording your daily thoughts and feelings, but is it right for you? Maybe you’ve tried it before, but it didn’t feel right, or maybe you never have. With so many variables in journaling styles, it’s easy to get it wrong and dismiss the whole thing entirely. There are also so many ways to get it right, and the near-infinite nature of journaling styles means that there’s sure to be one that feels good for you.

So, Should I Journal?

The quick answer is yes. There are countless benefits to clearing out your mental dust bunnies. Your critical thinking skills, emotional processing, and trauma response are all likely to improve when you spend time with your thoughts and feelings. But it can feel stressful to begin, and to select the method that feels most healing for your personal journey. No matter how you journal, your process can benefit from remembering to WRITE:

What do you want to write about?
Reflect on the feelings, desires and thoughts surrounding the topic.
Investigate those emotive responses through your writing.
Time yourself.
Exit with introspection.

Whether you elect to structure your journaling, create an artistic element or just sit down with a page and let your thoughts pour out as they arrive, there is healing to be found in becoming an emotional scribe.

Science Says Yes

Even the most free-flowing styles of journaling offer benefits that drive you toward not just setting goals, but achieving them. Supporting recovery in all manners is more effective when you allow yourself to take up space, and spending time in your own head validates that.

Engaging with your thoughts can help you process them, and processing them allows meaningful change to occur not just within that thought, but others like it as you move through life. It is not a stagnant indulgence. Journaling promotes active learning through reflection and can lead to better emotional processing, perspective-taking, and critical thinking skills.

Even If It Hurts a Little

While it can be uncomfortable to spend time with those painful realities taking up space in your mind, there is much to learn from them and your strength will only increase from confronting them. Connecting authentically with your emotions and processing them are keystones in recovery. Learning new methods to dispel old tendencies can be difficult or even painful, but learning is growing.

Connecting to your thoughts and emotions, making space for them, and having the opportunity to be honest with yourself are priceless tools toward healing. Journaling offers you a record of this growth and accountability that may be otherwise easy to discount or overlook. Whether you are setting goals, spending time with your gratitude or just spilling your heart on the page, that record will illustrate the strides you make.

What Should You Write?

Anything. There’s no wrong answer here, because this is yours and yours alone. But if the infinite possibility of emotional exploration feels a little (a lot) overwhelming, here are some topics to get you started:

    • Dear future me,
    • Write a letter to someone you love.
    • Make a “yes” list and a “no” list.
    • How are you really? (and don’t filter it)
    • Recall a memory that made you feel powerful and write in detail.

There are healing prompts or explore something more imaginative. If none of these strike your fancy- feel free to just write. Writing when you aren’t bound by structure, sense or concept can be freeing. Stream of consciousness journaling may surprise even you.

There’s No Wrong Way to Journal

It truly is that simple and that profound. Just like your recovery, this healing experience through your emotional mind is all yours. It is bespoke. Created for you, by you, and you can’t get it wrong. You cannot fail. But you can grow. Your words can change your world, and there is no limit on the change you can be in the world.

With the therapeutic benefit of healing in mind, body, and soul, you can move through the process of recovery feeling capable. Journaling can lead the charge for change and healing. But both start from within and do not require profound skills or tools to begin. Put pen to paper or letter to screen. Put thought to word and just write.

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Mental Health

How 2020 Will Shape Our Mental Health

The beginning of 2020 brought about the end of a decade – a time to reflect on the past and create hopes and dreams for the future. However, we quickly learned that this year was not likely to make good on the promise and hopes we set. Instead, 2020 taught us to stay flexible and adapt, and through enduring many trials, it reminded us of just how strong we are. As we near the end of 2020, we again set our sights on the year to come, closing the chapter on a year that has been fraught with many stressors, both planned and unplanned.

The Coronavirus Pandemic

As the virus drew national and international attention in its spread to all corners of the globe, our response to it has moved through many stages as our ability to cope has been tested.

The Unrest Begins

The first wave – the onset of the virus – created an environment full of fear and uncertainty about how our lives would be affected and for how long. From that fertile ground quickly rose seeds of dissent, anger, and frustration about how others handled themselves during this time and the extent of the precautions they were (or were not) taking.

The messaging shifted very quickly, encouraging us to “look at the bright side” and seek opportunities for growth and advantages offered by this worldwide reset. Lurking underneath this mask of our “new normal,” however, there still existed plenty of distress: depression, hopelessness, anxiety, insomnia, and for some, traumatic stress, and suicidal thoughts.

On August 14th, 2020, a CDC study reported that 40% of US adults reported symptoms of depression, anxiety, or increased substance use, with 10.7% reporting having suicidal thoughts in the past 30 days. This represented a substantial increase from past studies.

Stress Continues

As the pandemic has worn on and we watch “the numbers” rise, our sense of helplessness has become difficult to counter in the face of the year’s many challenges. The losses we suffered began to stack up. Starting with a worldwide shift that called for us to stay at home, facing necessary adaptations to age-old traditions, economic unrest, educational changes, workplace reform, and disconnection from those around us, we have arrived at is a completely changed way of life.

This changed way of life has led to many new stressors: many Americans have lost their homes, jobs, and businesses, just as they have also lost their standard ways of coping with it. What is more, many young adults lost their identity as goals they had worked years towards achieving were lost to the pandemic. Even for those where the real casualties have been minimal, many of these factors’ cumulative stress creates profound effects.

The Vulnerable Among Us

While everyone is understandably affected by the virus, some communities remained disproportionately vulnerable to its effects, including Blacks, Hispanics, the elderly, people of lower socioeconomic status of all races, and health care workers.

For them, this is a crisis of physical health and takes a toll on their mental health. From these conditions, three months into the pandemic, the Black Lives Matter movement reignited and brought further unrest and unease to our already tenuous state.

Further on into the year, as we prepared for a 2020 presidential election, even basic public health strategies such as testing, quarantining, and wearing masks have become politicized. Civil political discussions moved to a hostile online environment, and we feel distant and unrecognizable to those with an opposing view.

Substance Misuse and Our Mental Health

The pandemic challenges exist in isolating us from others and the very solutions to deal with our stresses. In protecting our physical health, social distancing, and stay-at-home measures deeply affected our mental health. This is especially true for those with substance use disorders or those who are in recovery from them.

We have learned time and time again from speakers such as Johann Hari that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety; it is human connection. The strain of isolation takes a particular toll on us, whether our problematic relationship with substances began before or after the pandemic started.

Those who already were in active addiction – now isolated from their support services – have begun to use their pre-programmed coping skill to deal with the new stresses they face. Those who may not previously have had a problem have now found themselves reliant on alcohol or other drugs to make it through the day, to calm their anxieties, or to pass the time.

Hope in 2020 and Beyond

Although the challenges of this time are genuine, it is essential to realize that while the ways you may have traditionally received support are no longer available, the counseling and treatment world has adapted right along with the virus. We understand intimately the losses associated with this pandemic: the loss of life, of how we do things, and of when things were more comfortable.

However, those of us in the recovery community are also no stranger to learning to adapt and learning to carve out a new way of life for ourselves. We are familiar with making the difficult choice to avoid numbing, exploring our past, and walking the path that will lead us to experience happiness and fulfillment ultimately.

At Villa Kali Ma, we want to hold onto hope for you that things will get better, and with clinical expertise and holistic healing methods, we want to show you the way. Contact us today to learn more about our trauma-informed and sustainable treatment programs.

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Mental Health Wellness

Surviving the Holidays: Navigating Post-Election Conversations

For months, people have been enduring an onslaught of news coverage surrounding the election, as well as many strong differing viewpoints. It can be exhausting to take in all this information and fight for your voice to be heard. Likely, people reading this share a heavy sigh that the election and the holidays must be so close together.

Some get-togethers have family members split down the middle with differing hopes for the election result, leading to potentially awkward or downright confrontational moments. Being mindful of your needs and approaching this time is essential for your wellness and perhaps your relationships.

Feeling Divided

The atmosphere between pre-and post-election has felt tense and almost irreparable. However, remaining in the relationships we care dearly about is essential, as is not walking around with an “elephant in the room” for the entirety of the holidays. If you would like to hold some dialogue with your friends and family about your view, consider these tips for difficult conversations throughout the holidays.

Know Your Goal

Before entering any political conversation, identify what you are hoping to gain or learn from the exchange. When talking to someone with a different viewpoint, know that it is doubtful you will change their mind with one conversation. Maybe you seek to be understood or to understand them better, or you may enjoy a respectful debate.

If your goal is to “win” the argument or prove that you are right, it is likely that the conversation elements will be very triggering to you and will not ultimately help you feel more connected to others. Proceed cautiously, both with yours and others’ intentions for the conversation in mind. Consider abstaining from discussions with others that you know will not stay respectful and divide you further.

Be Self-Aware

Remember that you are not in control of what someone else says, but how you react to them. Notice your tone, volume, body posture, and how you are feeling internally. Our nonverbal communication makes up a considerable portion of how others perceive your message, so check in to make sure it lines up with what you are trying to communicate.

Also, make sure to check in with your physical body. If you feel your heart rate rising or muscles clenching, that could be a sign to take a step back to cool off. Stay present with yourself and excuse yourself from the conversation if or when it gets to be too much. You might want to try some grounding techniques before excusing yourself from the conversation entirely.

Avoid Tactics That Build Defensiveness

Be careful about labeling, using sarcasm, name-calling, or dismissing someone. When a person feels attacked, their defense mechanisms will likely flare up, and having a genuine conversation will be almost impossible. These types of interactions also do not feel good on either side.

A good rule of thumb for conversations where you disagree is to try to understand the very best parts of their viewpoint, rather than taking demeaning shots at policies that they may not even agree with. Remember that you are talking to a person, not taking down a political party.

It is not helpful to the conversation when you regurgitate the talking points fed to you by media sources on either side. The person in front of you likely has a more detailed understanding of their political beliefs that is not helpful when you paint them into a corner based on party lines.

Listen Actively

Instead of crafting your perfect argument in your head when the other person speaks, take the time to listen and make sure you are understanding the point that they are trying to make. Please do not make the mistake of thinking that you already know what they are going to say. You are still free to disagree after, but this helps slow down the conversation and makes it less about people shouting facts or talking points at one another.

The golden rule of communication applies here, too: you need to listen before you speak. Before you move into trying to disprove their points, if you can stay curious about why they believe what they do, this helps set the conversation up for success and avoids creating defensiveness that comes from feeling misunderstood on either side.

Consider Your Limits

You may have found yourself in a conversation that feels out of hand, whether you started it or maybe discovered your way into it by mistake. Know when to end a conversation to keep yourself and your emotional health safe. See the boundaries section below for ways to help with this.

Notice the Triggers

The holidays often can be a significant trigger to drink. For one, there is usually easily accessible wine, beer, or other alcohol at gatherings. Often, drinking is normalized because we celebrate the season or the end of the year (especially this one). This time of year, there is also excellent potential for others to offer drinks unknowingly or knowingly to people working towards recovery.

In 2020, although in-person gatherings are much smaller, the temptation to drink is still very present. This is also a time when people tend to regress to a more childlike dynamic with their family. Some coping mechanisms from childhood could be to dissociate, take risks, or become combative. All of these can bring down the inhibitions and raise the temptation to drink or use drugs.

With the added factor of family members sharing views that are often emotionally triggering, this can create the perfect storm for relapse. Going into events with this in mind can help to prevent slip-ups and keep you on track towards your goals. Consider if being around or speaking to a specific person is a good idea for you and set boundaries where needed.

Suppose you will be in a potentially triggering situation; set up sober support to call at a particular time to check-in. Also, practicing saying “no” could help people who may offer you drinks. It can also be useful to have a non-alcoholic drink in hand to avoid these conversations. Taking care of yourself and working on recovery skills before these interactions can also make a huge difference!

Plan Your Boundaries

Depending on your household, you could be going into a very challenging holiday season this election year. Consider whether you do not want politics to be brought up at all and whether this is a boundary your family would respect. Having this conversation before the event could help lessen potential unwanted conflict. You may talk about this by saying something like:

While we’re together, I want to focus on all the things we have in common rather than to get stuck in the places where we disagree.

I think it might be best if we save political conversations for behind closed doors, as I know this is an area of potential conflict for us as a family.

This may not be a possibility depending on your family. Consider these boundary options to ensure that you care for yourself in the holidays instead of disappearing inside yourself or saying things you might regret. Use this boundary checklist as a guide.

1. Find a Teammate

Is there someone at the gathering or on-call which your values align with? Talk to this person to see if you can make a game plan. If you are stuck in an uncomfortable conversation with Uncle Bob, can they pull you away? They could touch your shoulder if they see you getting elevated. Discuss ways you could support each other over the holidays.

2. Consider Who You are Talking To

Some people are in a place to have difficult conversations, and others may start in attack mode. Watch out for people who may be trying to bait you into an argument with a mean or outlandish statement. If the person you are talking to is not receptive or is lost in their opinion, think of ways to shut it down instead of engaging.

3. Create a Phrase

Practice a statement to say to end conversations for situations when you do not want to discuss politics or would like to stop a conversation you are in. Creating a blanket statement that you have said before can help when you feel overwhelmed to get out quickly. If the other person continues the conversation, it is okay to be a broken record. Your phrase might be something like, “I’m not sure this conversation is helpful to our relationship,” or anything that conveys a similar message in a respectful but firm way.

4. Have an Escape Plan

Potentially there could be statements said that are very much against your values. In some situations, you may even feel attacked despite your best efforts. If you have tried to set boundaries and continue to be crossed, have a plan to leave, take a break, or be in a private room.

If you need support with the emotional toll of the holidays this season, Villa Kali Ma is here to help. Reach out today to talk about how we can support you or your loved ones during the holidays and beyond.

Categories
Mental Health

Seven Steps to Self-Forgiveness

You can’t forgive without loving. And I do not mean sentimentality. I do not mean mush.
I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, ‘I forgive. I’m finished with it.’

— MAYA ANGELOU

In general, as a culture, we have become so good at striving for success and recognition, and at the same time so bad at dealing with missteps and mistakes, especially our own. We understand the concept that “everyone makes mistakes” and that theoretically, “it is not about the fact that we made a mistake, but how we recover from it.” However, this is an incredibly difficult belief to hold on to when facing our own shortcomings or failures.

Many people struggle with self-condemnation that stems from feeling as though they’ve either done something “wrong” and have guilt related to how they acted, or because they feel that they themselves are “wrong” or defective in some way which leads to a sense of shame. For those who develop a problematic relationship with alcohol or other substances, these experiences of guilt and shame are universal.

The ability to find forgiveness for self is in so many ways the key to the healing process. In life, as with the process of recovery, true freedom comes once you find it within yourself to let go— to offer yourself the cleansing relief that comes with moving on and like the quote above, having the courage to love yourself enough to be finished with it.

The Road to Self-Forgiveness

Learning how to accept ownership over mistakes, let go, move on, and forgive yourself is important for mental health and well-being, although often it is much easier said than done. Self-forgiveness requires empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding, and ultimately, requires you to make the choice to be honest with yourself throughout the process.

1. Setting Aside Time to Process

One of the biggest traps that we fall into as humans is believing that if we are not actively thinking about something that it is not a problem for us. Rather than dealing with our emotions, we tend to disregard them, “stuff them down”, or avoid them entirely.

When you are trying to create a new life for yourself free from the influence of substances, nothing can quite stunt your progress as this tendency. We need time to sit with ourselves and to acknowledge and process all the emotions that arise in us. Allow yourself permission to recognize and accept the feelings that are triggered in you as you think about where your life has taken you so far.

2. Acknowledging What Happened

Facing the realities of what you have done in the past or what has happened is an important step towards self-forgiveness. It is often our initial temptation to make excuses or to try to rationalize or justify our actions in order to make them seem acceptable.

However, by taking responsibility and owning up to the fact that you have engaged in actions that have hurt others, you can begin to free yourself – and them – from some of the burdens. It is also helpful to adopt the narrative that “I did the best I could with the tools and knowledge I had at the time”. In this way, we can balance the forces of accountability and compassion and develop a realistic perspective of what happened.

3. Considering What You Have Learned From the Experience

It can be a helpful exercise to consider each mistake of the past as a learning experience that helps you to discover more about the person you want to be in the future. This is the primary function of guilt as an emotion.

When we feel guilty, this is a message from our subconscious mind letting us know that our actions are not in line with our beliefs and ultimately helps us to make a different choice in the future. Progress looks like moving away from shame-based beliefs about the self:

    • “I am a bad person” and moving towards a more hopeful narrative.
    • “I made a bad choice, but I have the power to make better choices in the future.”
    • Or even just “I’ve experienced an incredibly painful lesson in who I don’t want to be.”

4. Having a Conversation With Your Inner Critic

Moving towards self-forgiveness means developing an active practice of self-compassion. In addition to learning to be kind to ourselves, this means taking a closer look at the internal dialogues that we allow to take place in our minds. An actionable step you can take is to write out a conversation between you and your inner critic as a way to recognize the thoughts that are getting in the way of forgiveness. This can help you identify thought patterns that are sabotaging your ability to forgive yourself.

You may also need to examine the expectations and standards you hold for yourself. The expert on self-compassion, Kristin Neff recommends considering your situation as if your best friend were the one in crisis. What would you say? How would you comfort them? Ultimately, how is that conversation compared to the one you had earlier with your inner critic? Why is it so difficult to extend the same message of love and forgiveness to ourselves?

5. Making a Plan for Moving Forward

Making amends is an important part of forgiveness, even when the person you are forgiving is yourself. The best way to move past your guilt is to take action to make up for your mistakes. While we may never “earn” forgiveness or fully make up for it, apologizing or even being willing to have the conversation with others about their experience is an important step. This aspect of self-forgiveness is about responding to what happened in a way that you can be proud of, no matter whether others ultimately accept your apology.

6. Quit Playing the Tape

While in many ways, it is human nature to spend time and energy replaying our mistakes, at some point, it becomes no longer healthy for us to continue in that way. Falling into the trap of rumination, self-hatred, or even pity can be incredibly damaging to your recovery process.

When you catch yourself playing the “I’m broken” or “I’m a horrible human” tape, stop yourself and focus on one positive action step. Interrupting the thought pattern can help you replace the negative experience and even reduce stress and anxiety.

7. Focusing on Today and the Hope of Tomorrow

Self-forgiveness is incredibly important to the healing process as it allows you to let go of the anger, guilt, shame, sadness you may be holding on to and move on. Working through this process gives you a plan for the future, rather than allowing self-defeating thoughts to continue plaguing you.

As you learn to identify what you are feeling, tame your inner critic, and work towards a different outcome, you will begin to see how freeing forgiveness can be. The power of forgiveness is in being able to offer yourself that gift, to accept it, and to step into the hope that tomorrow will be different.

Healing at Villa Kali Ma

When it comes to processing through your past, this is the work of therapy—to learn to offer yourself forgiveness, to sit with your pain and emotion, and move through it. At Villa Kali Ma, we know the importance of the relationship you develop with yourself on the recovery journey, as well as the challenges of meeting your inner critic face-to-face.

In addition to working with you through the process of self-forgiveness, we teach you the skills of mindfulness, of how to stay present in your experience, and how to offer yourself self-compassion along the way. If you or an important woman in your life is struggling with addiction to alcohol or other substances, contact us today to learn more about our program and how we can help!

Categories
Mental Health

The Trap of Isolation

For some of us, the pain of loneliness and the trap of isolation begins gradually. Friends move away, begin having families, or throw themselves into their new business venture or into advancing their career. For others, the pain is felt abruptly: leaving for college, moving, or starting a new job, or losing a partner to death or divorce.

Any of these events may cause you to re-evaluate the state of your relationships and the state of your standing Friday night plans in front of the television. In the last year especially, experiencing any of the above has likely only been heightened by the disconnected and polarized post-COVID world we now live in.

As the pandemic and the themes of social isolation have become a regular part of our daily vocabulary, it is only highlighted our need to reach out and feel connected to those around us. Still, while it may feel like this is a unique problem in the light of the recent events of today, the truth is that loneliness has been an emerging problem over the last decade.

Where Loneliness and Isolation Takes Root

Even those who are surrounded by others throughout the day have the potential to face a deep and pervasive sense of loneliness. You may even be married or in a long-term relationship and still not be able to escape that gnawing feeling inside.

Whether this is from a lack of true authenticity in your relationships -which may stem from hiding your struggle with alcohol, or the deep sense of shame you carry- or even the absence of another physical presence at home, we can feel isolated all the same.

The seeds of loneliness, when allowed room to grow, can have serious consequences for our physical and mental health. In addition to physical ailments like diabetes, hypertension, obesity, cardiovascular and autoimmune diseases, loneliness also contributes to depression, alcohol abuse, sleep problems, and even personality disorders.

Is Society to Blame for Our Isolation?

In general, shifts in our culture have also seemed to pave the way for this trend towards isolation. In public, rare is it that we will engage in conversation with others. In the waiting room, in line, at restaurants, etc., opportunities for connection have been replaced with an opportunity to send some emails, catch up on the latest podcast, listen to music, or otherwise occupy our minds with mindless activity.

In effect, we learn to rely on our smartphones out of a misguided attempt to protect ourselves from the unknowns of what a social encounter might bring. This being an election year, it is also fair to say that political polarization may be another reason that you may feel isolated and disconnected from others, even online. Especially online. When we curate our social networks and leave little room for interacting with others who hold -or might hold- opposing beliefs, we limit our opportunities for meaningful connection.

How Loneliness Entraps Us

Loneliness thrives within a self-defeating psychology that once it has taken root can make it difficult to escape its clutches. Complicating matters more, lonely people are likely to fall into some predictable traps that only serve to maintain rather than help them overcome their loneliness.

1. We Get Stuck in Negative Thinking

Our perceptions become altered so that we view our existing relationships more negatively and pessimistically. We make assumptions about others (that they do not like us or will reject us) and rely on these excuses to explain our lack of initiative or follow through when it comes to making plans.

2. We Believe Our Own Lies

As a result of our negative thinking, our own reactions and avoidance pushes others away even further. In our blindness to our role in creating the distance, we see others’ withdrawal as confirmation of our fears, and become even more convinced they no longer care about us. Often, complicating the pattern even more, to deal with the pain that stems from our faulty beliefs, we may turn to alcohol or prescription pills to cope.

3. Our Lies Become Truth

The more socially isolated we become, the less use we have for social and relationship skills, which will eventually wither away over time. If things go badly when we try to connect with others, rather than viewing the attempt as an opportunity to rebuild those skill sets, we see it as further confirmation of our undesirability.

Played out in this typical pattern, our loneliness becomes very visible to others who are likely to label us as less interesting and may not make efforts to connect, especially once we become equally entrapped in the cycle of addiction.

How to Break Free From Loneliness

The tricky part about breaking the cycle of loneliness and isolation is that it requires vulnerability, or a leap of faith in one way or another. We need to initially retrain our brains to see ourselves as desirable and worthy of connection, and then take action steps based on those newfound beliefs.

1. Remember Your Worth

The biggest hurdle to overcome in breaking the cycle of loneliness is your fear of rejection. This is the voice of shame in your life telling you that you are not good enough, that you are broken, or that if others only knew the truth about you, they wouldn’t stick around. While many of us may feel justified in those beliefs based on past experiences, we must have the courage to put ourselves out there again.

2. Take Initiative

For you, this may look like opening up to those who are already in your life but kept at a distance. It may look like sharing small pieces of yourself with others and giving them the benefit of the doubt that they will show up for you. It may also look like just getting out of the house: volunteering, taking up a new outdoor hobby, or scheduling a video chat to catch up with friends you have not seen in a while.

3. Approach Yourself and Others With Optimism

Get to know the cycle of self-doubt that starts to creep in when you socialize or make plans and learn to soothe it. Speak to that part of you with love and kindness, “Thank you for trying to protect me, but you’re not needed at this moment”. Take that leap of faith, and trust that when you can rein in your greatest enemy (your thoughts) you will be able to see yourself more clearly.

A loving, safe, and supportive recovery community helps heal all wounds. If you find yourself isolating from others and self-medicating your pain with prescription pills, drugs or alcohol, we want to invite you to discover true holistic healing in a treatment environment that speaks to every part of you, and helps you become the best version of yourself. Reach out to us today to learn more about our healing programs here at Villa Kali Ma!

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