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“I Found God in Myself and I Loved Her…I Loved Her Fiercely” – Ntozake Shange

I came across this quote recently and it resonated with me.  I felt so blessed that it did! Now that this rings true for me, I see how in the past I had no eyes to see these words. “I Found God in Myself and I loved her…I loved her fiercely.” This quote would have meant nothing to me and I would not have even noticed it. Loving myself was not even in my vocabulary before I got sober and transformed my life.

I now know that my relationship with myself is the most important one I will ever have.  I used to think I needed to find a man and get into a relationship in order to be happy.  All those relationships just made me more unhappy.  Then I would drink and use drugs to self-medicate my misery or to mask the pain and pretend I was having “fun”.  I would stay in those bad relationships endlessly because I felt so worthless and afraid to be alone.  I never found what I was seeking because I was always looking outside myself for something to, “make me happy”.

After getting sober I began working on healing myself and my life.  I discovered yoga and meditation and began practicing several times a week.  Yoga teaches the 8 limbed path to enlightenment, beginning with the Yamas & Niyamas which are ethical ways of living and being in the world.  These practices began to change things in me.  I began to feel better in so many ways.  I began to like myself more and my body and mind began to heal.

The practices helped me connect to a deeper meaning in life.  I began to see myself as a spiritual being having a human experience.  The more I practiced and looked within my own heart, the more I felt the power of my Soul.  As my mind and body changed, I felt a deeper connection to the Earth and to all beings.  My love for myself and for life grew and grew until I felt a happiness that I never thought possible.

I sincerely hope that all of you who are struggling with similar issues will give this path a try.  Do some research about what yoga is.  There is a movie called “Yoga Is” that you can stream on Amazon that explains a lot.  I know many people who have transformed their lives through this practice.  I also went to rehab and sober living, which helped, but the transformation came through yoga and meditation.  I wish you all a future being, “happy, joyous, and free”!

Namaste

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How I Learned to Train My Mind to be Present and Banish all Negativity

I used to suffer from an extreme sense of impending doom.  I was either worrying about the future or I was filled with self-judgement and shame about the past.  I was never at peace.  I didn’t even know that peace was a possible state of mind.  I learned that through the practice of yoga and meditation, I can train my mind to dwell in the reality of my life, not the story that my mind was repeating to me over and over, ad nauseam.  

Immediately upon getting sober, reality set in, and all of the pain that I had been avoiding through self-medicating hit me like a freight train.  I was plunged into all the feelings I had been trying to keep myself from feeling or even acknowledging.  Intense regret, remorse, self-hatred, shame, and despair took over my thoughts.  All I wanted was relief from these thoughts and feelings but I knew my old ways of coping didn’t work for me anymore. 

I began learning how to train my mind by practicing yoga and meditation several times a week.  I found that during these practices I felt more calm and peaceful than any other time of the day.  I began studying the principals and philosophy of the ancient yogic teachings and adopted them as a new way of living my life. The teachings gave me a new perspective to see life from.  I learned how to dwell in the present moment, not the past or the future.

I also took an online course called “Innner Engineering” from a indian mystic named Sadhguru which really help train my mind and got me started down the path to healing my life. Then I learned to train my mind and redirect my thinking by reading books and listening to audio CD’s while driving in my car.  The one’s that helped me the most are Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” and “The New Earth”, Wayne Dyer’s “The Power of Intention”, Michael Singer’s “The Untethered Soul”, and Anita Moorjani’s “Dying to be Me”.

These teachers showed me the way to freedom from the constant barrage of negative thinking that had been my life long habit.  Through these teachings and through the practice of yoga and meditation, I now live in a completely different world from the one I used to live in.  I am able to take life on life’s terms and enjoy it.  I love my life now! Even though I don’t have everything I want, I am grateful for my most precious gift…Peace of mind!

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Eckhart Tolle:

“Are you worried? Do you have many ‘what if’ thoughts? You are identified with your mind, which is projecting itself into an imaginary future situation and creating fear.  There is no way you can cope with such a situation, because it doesn’t exist. It’s a mental phantom.”

Remember…you are creating your future with your thoughts today, so make them good thoughts!!

Peace & Many Blessings,

Kay

Are you or a loved one looking into recovery? Click here to visit our site for more information. 
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What If You Could Heal Your Life With Food?

 I grew up on Hamburger Helper, instant mashed potatoes and canned green beans. My favorite beverage was Diet Coke. My mother was a victim of the convenience food epidemic and our kitchen was loaded with processed foods.  It wasn’t until high school that I discovered food that doesn’t necessarily come in a box or a can. I was also raised eating tons of meat, dairy and sugar.  McDonalds was my comfort food.  Almost every day, up until I was 48 years old, I would crave a Hamburger Happy Meal for lunch! I believed, because I didn’t know any better, that it wasn’t a “meal” unless it included meat and dairy. I ate this way most of my life and didn’t even question it until I was at a point where my health and life had crumbled around me and I couldn’t go on anymore. 

After years of suffering through a completely dysfunctional existence, I finally decided to check into rehab and get sober. I had no idea how much that decision was going to change everything about my life.  My depression fluctuated from mild to severe with occasional suicidal ideation since I was 17.  I also suffered from low self-esteem, guilt, shame, co-dependency and love addiction. My health was deteriorating and I severe back pain, joint pain, and sciatica down both legs. I had been self-medicating for three decades using alcohol, marijuana and cigarettes.

After going to a 30-day treatment program and getting sober, I started practicing yoga and meditation and studying how food played a role in my mental and physical health. I found top biochemists, nutritionists, and naturopathic medicine doctors that taught me how to use food as medicine and to eat to be healthy, not to satisfy cravings. I had stopped eating processed foods and started eating a healthy whole foods diet.  Within months, all of my body pain left me and so did the depression.

New studies by neuroscientists now show that when it comes to your mental health, your behavior, and even your mood, it may not be the brain calling the shots; it may be your gut that’s in charge. Now there is hard evidence linking conditions such as debilitating stress, anxiety and depression to the gut’s microbial residents, known as the microbiome. Scientists are now finding that the bacteria in the intestines have a major impact on our state of mind.  Your gut bacteria produce neurotransmitters that communicate with the brain by sending information that affects your wellbeing.  Therefore, your mental health is very much dependent on the healthy microbes in your gut.

Researchers have shown that there is a dynamic interaction between your gut, your brain, and your immune system and that in order to maintain overall health of your whole being, you must have healthy gut bacteria.  In order to ensure your gut is healthy, avoiding processed foods and foods high in sugar and fructose is essential.  Sugars and especially processed sweeteners such as high fructose corn syrup feed the harmful bacteria and throw off the balance of the gut’s microflora.  This can weaken the immune system and cause a variety of health problems, both physical and mental.

Some of the warning signs that your gut flora is off manifest as subtle forms of depression such as irritability, hostility, extreme fatigue, inability to concentrate, withdrawing from loved ones, perfectionism, guilty feelings, and self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, food, and other addictions.

Researchers have discovered that dietary changes can be used as the sole treatment for these mood disorders. One study found that women who regularly consumed foods containing probiotics (such as the bacteria in yogurt) or fermented foods, showed improved brain function and relief of symptoms compared to those who did not consume the probiotics.  The study showed that this significantly affected the parts of the brain that control the processing of emotion and sensation.

The healthy bacteria in your gut are vulnerable to your diet and lifestyle and can be harmed by the foods you choose to eat and use of household chemicals. Some of these that are the most harmful are conventionally raised meats and other animal products that come from animals that have been fed genetically modified grains and have been injected with antibiotics (which includes all factory farmed meats and dairy). Processed foods, sugars, processed sweeteners and food grown with pesticides also harms the health of your gut bacteria. Hand sanitizers and antibacterial soaps should also be avoided.

One of the most natural ways to begin to heal mentally and physically is to eat a healthy diet that supports healthy gut bacteria.  At Villa Kali Ma we provide our clients with a healthy diet of delicious and nutritious organic foods to support the healing of the whole person: body, mind, and spirit. We teach our clients how to live a balanced life in harmony with how nature intended.  Women learn how to shop, plan and cook healthy meals that support their mental and physical wellbeing. I know that this works because I suffered for three decades and healed in just a few months by the same methods we teach here at Villa Kali Ma.  This is not difficult to do because the food is delicious and you will feel so much better physically and mentally that you won’t want to go back to your old habits.

Peace, love, and many blessings,

Kay

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