“I Found God in Myself and I Loved Her…I Loved Her Fiercely” – Ntozake Shange

By December 30, 2015May 8th, 2024General
I Found God in Myself

I came across this quote recently and it resonated with me.  I felt so blessed that it did! Now that this rings true for me, I see how in the past I had no eyes to see these words. “I Found God in Myself and I loved her…I loved her fiercely.” This quote would have meant nothing to me and I would not have even noticed it. Loving myself was not even in my vocabulary before I got sober and transformed my life.

I now know that my relationship with myself is the most important one I will ever have.  I used to think I needed to find a man and get into a relationship in order to be happy.  All those relationships just made me more unhappy.  Then I would drink and use drugs to self-medicate my misery or to mask the pain and pretend I was having “fun”.  I would stay in those bad relationships endlessly because I felt so worthless and afraid to be alone.  I never found what I was seeking because I was always looking outside myself for something to, “make me happy”.

After getting sober I began working on healing myself and my life.  I discovered yoga and meditation and began practicing several times a week.  Yoga teaches the 8 limbed path to enlightenment, beginning with the Yamas & Niyamas which are ethical ways of living and being in the world.  These practices began to change things in me.  I began to feel better in so many ways.  I began to like myself more and my body and mind began to heal.

The practices helped me connect to a deeper meaning in life.  I began to see myself as a spiritual being having a human experience.  The more I practiced and looked within my own heart, the more I felt the power of my Soul.  As my mind and body changed, I felt a deeper connection to the Earth and to all beings.  My love for myself and for life grew and grew until I felt a happiness that I never thought possible.

I sincerely hope that all of you who are struggling with similar issues will give this path a try.  Do some research about what yoga is.  There is a movie called “Yoga Is” that you can stream on Amazon that explains a lot.  I know many people who have transformed their lives through this practice.  I also went to rehab and sober living, which helped, but the transformation came through yoga and meditation.  I wish you all a future being, “happy, joyous, and free”!


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