Some days we’re cranky and negative and we are not having it. We’re not in the mood for gratitude, appreciation of our lives, or for putting a happy face on our situation.
On such days we can lose energy all day trying to change our feelings into something more pleasant. Not wanting to feel grumpy or irritable, we try to get happy.
But when a negative mood is not easily shifted, that might be for a good reason. Sometimes it helps, in the larger goal of getting back to Yes-type feelings and energies, to spend a little time appreciating and honoring our No energies.
The Sacred No
What is negativity, actually? Is it just us being difficult? Is a no always coming from our pathology, our addiction, our ego, our shadow? Or could it be a valid no, a no to something that we’ve unconsciously pushed upon ourselves, that isn’t actually right for us?
I believe there is a Sacred No. The Sacred No is the No that comes from our true Self, the one who knows best what is or is not aligned with our true nature and its emergent, moment-by-moment needs.
Negativity is often, in its origin, actually a boundary. When I’m saying no to something, by feeling resistant, that means something about the thing itself or how I’m relating to myself about the thing is actually out of alignment with Source.
Consent Is Important
Rather than forcing yourself to override your resistance, inner conflict, or negative thoughts and feelings, what if you tried the path of listening first? Overriding our No when we don’t know what it’s even about yet, is a form of inner boundary-crossing, violating our own consent.
I believe strongly that consent matters in a lot of contexts, even within our own Selves and psychic processes. When we have internal permission from all Parts of ourselves, then we can really line up all of our resources and take effective action.
When powerful psychic Parts are not on board and are sending out a No energy, our first task is to find out why we do not have consent from these Parts, considering that they may have very good reasons for not wanting to comply.
In the long run, sometimes the fastest, smoothest, most energetically sustainable path to a full Sacred Yes is to hang out with our No until it feels fully heard, understood, accepted, and valued.
Journal Exercise: Follow Your No to Your Sacred Yes
To work with this idea, start with letting yourself complain, aka say no a little, in the following way.
Part One: The No
In list form, write down all the things that you/your energy seems to be saying no to today.
No to waking up too early feeling achy in my body
No to cell phones invading and taking over human life
No to feeling tired all the time like I never have enough energy
No to not having any food in the house
No to my desk being messy ….
Really let yourself be negative for a bit.
Look out for the Part that will want to talk you out of your No, that may have a judgment or an opinion about that, such as that your No is childish.
That may be so. It could be your Inner Child who is saying No. But we still need to care for her – that which is still a child within us needs a lot of tenderness, sensitivity, and protection.
Part Two: The Yes!
The secret of working with the sacred No is to understand that it’s the same exact information as a Yes, just expressed differently. We can use each No as a doorway into a resonant Yes, by simply turning the same information on its head.
Go through each of your Nos and find the implied Yes.
No to cell phones…YES to time in nature, reading interesting old vintage books, and making things with my own two hands!
No, to feeling tired all the time…YES to running on the beach and swimming in the ocean and going on long hikes and coming home pleasantly exhausted and happy!
Part Three: More and More Yes
Now extend into any other areas that maybe you didn’t yet think of, but you’re feeling a Yes to the idea of.
YES to feeling seen, loved, and celebrated for my unique Self!
YES to my backyard veggie beds being fruitful and abundant!
YES to joy and laughter all day every day!
May this be helpful on your journey, friend. Thanks for reading!