What are positive recovery words?
Positive recovery words are affirmations about ourselves and our recovery. Affirmations are formulated as present-tense statements, worded as if they are true already and taking place in the now moment. Affirmations use phrasing like “I am” and “I have”, (rather than “I will” or “I want to….”).
An example of a very famous affirmation is “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” An example of an affirmation geared toward women in recovery is “I am a good person and I deserve my happy, sober life of joy and connection”.
Do positive affirmations work?
Positive affirmations can be very effective at changing a person’s life because of the chain of connections between thought, feeling, and behavior. The same therapeutic principle is used in cognitive behavioral therapy, one of the evidence-based practices that works well with addiction and many other kinds of mental illness.
Positive affirmations work because of the ways that specific thoughts, interpretations of the given facts, and underlying conceptual frameworks shape our experience. Positive affirmations help us take charge of our mindsets so that we have more conscious choices regarding which thoughts we allow to linger in our minds. Working with positive affirmations gives us a greater measure of control over how we feel, which gives us hope, possibility, and power.
Having choices when it comes to thoughts and feelings leads to more self-control. Most negative, destructive behavior arises from a desperate attempt to escape our painful thoughts and feelings. If we don’t feel so bad inside, or know we can shift thoughts and feelings without acting out, we have no reason to behave badly.
What is the power of positivity?
Authentic positivity has a regulating effect on the body, causing it to settle into a pleasantly alert, but relaxed state which is most beneficial for physical and mental ease. When under the influence of a generally positive mindset, we do not suffer psychologically, except as a passing response to a specific, short-term event.
Furthermore, when we are able to access our natural positivity, we are in the state of mind that is most effective, creative, connected, and intelligent. We are able to act effectively in the world and connect and relate to others through the heart, from the top of our intelligence.
Negativity, on the other hand, has dis-regulating effects on the body, creating physically uncomfortable states, which are felt by us as painful emotions. Negative thoughts have deteriorating effects on physiology, and cause us to operate from a more shut-down, less relational, less creative, and less intelligent state of being.
What are positive recovery words for those in addiction?
People with addiction who have made a commitment to recover benefit from using affirmations that specifically address the pain and suffering associated with addiction.
Positive recovery words for addiction speak to the challenges related to restoring the ability to behave in sane, constructive ways, and how to heal from the shame associated with addiction.
Alcoholics Anonymous, the original 12-step program that has helped millions (and counting!) of women to recover, offers many sayings that can be used as affirmations in recovery.
“Progress, not perfection” and “Just for today” are examples of helpful wordings that can give focus to the path of recovery.
Here are some examples of positive recovery words:
I value myself and I love myself unconditionally.
Every day, love finds a way to help me.
I let go in perfect trust.
As I reach towards goodness, goodness reaches towards me.
What are three affirmations that you could use? Write three sentences that speak directly to your heart, and that say what you need to hear today.
Why are recovery affirmations important in recovery?
No one becomes an addict on purpose. Instead, we wake up one day to realize we have been sucked into a black hole, a condition that mercilessly erodes our self-esteem and faith in ourselves.
When we get into recovery, we face the challenge of changing the habit of daily use of substances. But stopping the use of the substance is only part of the journey.
The real, deeper work is an inside job, in which we must renovate the entire structure of our personality so that we can exist in a state of basic positivity again.
To do this, we need to do a lot of repair on our thoughts, not only to weed out thoughts that serve addiction but also to address the underlying pain that brought us to addiction in the first place.
Recovery affirmations are essential for consciously reprogramming ourselves to think better thoughts. We can no longer afford to harbor thoughts that sabotage and cut us down. We need thoughts that create happy bodies and good feeling states, which allow us to live a human life of creativity, connection, intelligence, and purpose.
What are self-care activities to pair with positive affirmations?
Positive affirmations work best when paired with self-care actions, such as regular exercise, good diet, creative practices, involvement in a supportive community, and emotional release tools like journaling.
Positive affirmations set things right in the mind, while physical exercise, yoga, diet, outdoor time, massage, and sleep set things right in the body. Connection with positive people and therapeutic support set things right emotionally.
How do you choose the right recovery affirmation?
Positive affirmations can be used towards any goal, to boost certain kinds of feelings and to reduce others. In order for this to be true, we have to work with statements that feel uplifting and which resonate with us as reasonably true, or within reach. It won’t work to repeat a statement that we do not believe could ever become true, such as “I can fly!”, but we can stretch ourselves with words that feel like they’re in the realm of possibility, such as “I love myself and I celebrate my courage to choose to recover”.
Some people prefer to write their own affirmations, to find wording that feels really true personally. Others may find peace and comfort in tried and true statements used by many women before us.
We know we are using the right positive recovery words for us personally when we can feel that the words have a positive effect on us when we say them. We’ll feel gently soothed, energized, enlivened, calmed, or centered when we say the statements out loud. The right words will feel right.
Why do words matter in addiction recovery?
Words have harmed us in the past, and words can heal us now. The power of words can not be overstated.
In addiction recovery, the words we say out loud about ourselves and our recovery, as well as the words we say only to ourselves in our minds, make all the difference to our success or failure.
In recovery, a big piece of getting better is simply sharing the truth of what’s really going on inside our heads, because as they say in AA, “secrets keep us sick”. We can avoid a relapse by saying out loud that a voice in our head is telling us to skip our evening meeting, for example.
When it comes to the words we consciously choose, those words have the most power and impact. No matter where we’re at on any given day, we can course-correct with a few good recovery words.
How can we use addiction recovery words instead of words that create stigma?
A big part of addiction recovery is realizing that we are not identical with the addict self, that no matter how much control the Addict Self takes over our lives, still it’s not us and we are not it.
The addiction is its own thing, and it’s not a good thing, and the more we see it and call it out, the more we restore our own innocence. We must take responsibility for ourselves, but it’s impossible to do that before seeing that we have fallen prey to something that isn’t our true self.
Although society at large still tends to apply stigma rather than compassion to suffering, that is a reflection of the amount of fear and ignorance that is still at play. The truth is that there is no shame, no value difference, nor any judgment on anyone who falls into the trap of addiction, except in the minds of the ignorant, arrogant, or fearful.
And shame is a killer, so we have to find ways to de-stigmatize ourselves and our sisters with addiction and other kinds of suffering, too. Part of using recovery words is changing perception as we go along. The small shift from “I want to” to “the addict within is telling me to” for example, makes all the difference in the world.
What is stigma?
The word stigma refers to a socially constructed idea of disgrace associated with someone or something. Stigma is a social phenomenon that creates a lot of pain and usually clouds the issue with fear-based misunderstandings, including a fear of contamination by association.
Stigma implies that a person or thing is bad, wrong, or shameful in some way, and often suggests the person is to blame, deserves punishment and exclusion, and needs to be shunned and shut out.
We can see by looking at our society that stigma is applied to painfully marginalize many social subgroups.
Where does stigma come from?
Stigma is socially created, and heavily influenced by religion, culture, social and political concepts, media, and other pillars of society.
Stigma originates from the problematic, anti-human belief that some human beings do not deserve love, inclusion, belonging, and kindness, due to their circumstances, who they are, or their choices.
Stigma is almost always unfairly assigned, in the “punching down” style of picking on people with less power, and tends to flow towards those who have been most hurt already. Stigma is connected to cultural narcissism, ideas of superiority, and devaluation of others who are not deemed socially useful or valuable.
Over the centuries, what specifically is stigmatized has shifted and changed, but it is always about creating a vulnerable and marginalized group that is punished socially.
In our current age, stigma is largely attached to poverty and lower socioeconomic status, including homelessness. It is still applied in great measure to women, people of color, and people with mental illness, addiction, and trauma.
How does stigma affect women with SUD?
Addiction is widely misunderstood and heavily stigmatized. The most basic stigma is the idea that the addicted woman is to blame for “choosing” to be an addict, or that she is amoral, or weak. In truth, all addiction masks terrible pain. Under any pattern of addictive behavior lies a giant well of shame. Self-hatred for not being capable of behaving better, and for not succeeding at life in all the ways we’re told are necessary to deserve love and respect. The problem begins largely in these artificial conditions of belonging.
Addiction does create heartache in loved ones and families and causes a lot of destruction. On the tricky path of addiction recovery, we women have to find a way to fully acknowledge the truth of what we have done while in the throes of the illness, and at the same time not give up on ourselves or let ourselves believe that that means we are beyond the reach of love and worthiness.
All in all, there is no benefit to propagating stigma related to substance addiction, as it only obscures the real issue at hand, including the role of trauma in leading to the addiction epidemic. For women in recovery, the element of social stigma is an added challenge to learn to overcome.
Villa Kali Ma supports positive recovery words for women
At Villa Kali Ma we pay close attention to the ways that words can help women recover. We support the use of positive recovery words, all day every day. Positive affirmations work by gradually, consciously re-wiring deep beliefs and practicing thoughts that create mental health. To find words that help you feel better and get better for good, consider coming to heal with us in one of our many programs for women!
