How do you feel about your own personality? Do you like you? Could You Be Loved?
I’m not talking about the totality of you, just your personality. The one you seem to be to others. Who others take you to be at any given moment. Do you like her?
If you’re like me, you may feel ambivalent, even embarrassed, about your personality. You may have some “notes” for her.
Your list of improvements might be quite long. Ways she could be better, things you think she could or should be doing differently. To draw less attention to herself, or perhaps more. Whatever it is, you’re not fully satisfied.
Not Allowed to Like Ourselves
Many of us don’t allow ourselves to like who we are. I would venture to say that as women (and this is frequently true of other marginalized points of view), liking our own personality is a bit of a no-no. We’re supposed to always see and quickly point out before anyone else has to say it, where we need to get better.
It’s not very common that someone says, Gosh, you know what, I sure do like me, just as I am.
It’s ok that we practice humility. We do need to keep an eye on negative ego and shadows. We’re not crazy for being aware that anyone, at any time, can do things that aren’t good for life, that we would rather not do. It’s ok to remember we have to stay conscious, in a world that constantly begs us to go unconscious.
The difference between Ego and Personality
But the personality is not the same thing as the negative ego, painbody, or shadow. The personality is something much more organic, inherent, natural, and wonderful.
It’s the positive version of our “small self”. Our little, down-here-on-the-surface-of-the-earth, boots-on-the-ground identity.
Our personalities showed the moment we first took breath. It’s who we were naturally, as children. Back then our true natures burned bright, could not be hidden or withheld.
It’s that personality, not our false self, that I’m asking you about. Do you like her?
Secret Love
Perhaps when I remind you of your most original self, you can admit that in a secret, private way, you love your little self.
This is true of me, though it feels forbidden to say so out loud in most company. When I catch a glimpse of her, when I remember her, when I stop the learned practice of constant self-criticism, then what pops through is a strong, small flare of self-love.
This is the love that Source has for each of us, as imperfect as we are. It sometimes shows up in our experience. It is natural and good, even if it is a secret love.
One Precious You
We each are fully original, unrepeatable, never before seen and never to be seen again once we drop the body. We are precious. There is only ever going to be this one of us, in this form. Even if you believe in multiple incarnations, you will not be the same identity again.
Why do we have to resist her, push her around? Why not support her? What would happen?
The personality shouldn’t and can’t take over the entirety of our lifestream, but if we suppress it, do violence to it, it will suffer and ultimately, represent a source of problems for us.
When on the other hand, we really support our personality to be her full self, enjoying and celebrating her as the divine daughter of life that she actually is, that is when the personality will be able to really harmonize into the higher harmonics of our greater spirit.
A Journal Invitation to You: Could You Be Loved?
Do you find your own true personality hard to love and accept? If so, why do you think that is? What is it that makes you want to reject or hide away this part of you, suppress or minimize her?
Could you imagine an opposite approach, of truly supporting this part of you to be big and strong in the world? What would that look like? If fear comes up, what precisely do you fear would happen, if you let yourself grow this side of you?
What would change in your life, if you loved you, the human, heartbreaking, flawed, interesting, adorable, problematic, difficult, beautiful, extraordinary you?
Bob Marley sings, “Could you be loved?” Well, what do you say? Could you?
Don’t let them fool you, or even try to school you
Love would never leave us alone.