10 Tips for A Sober Summer

Write out an unambiguous, strong statement of your intentions for this summer. Something like this:

I, [your name], intend to have a 100% sober summer, this summer of 2024. I do not consent or agree to any form of relapse, slip, or other form of self-harm or self-sabotage.

I am committed to sobriety because…[your reasons].

A strong intention with a strong why goes a long way. This is the royal decree that you, as the queen of your spirit and body, set for yourself.

Make no mistake, the part within which has tried to harm you in the past (the addiction, the self-sabotage, whatever it is), will interpret any fuzziness, vagueness, or lack of clarity as permission to return. Make it clear that you are 100% all in for sobriety, and that you are not in any way interested in revisiting your painful, miserable past for one last hurrah.

Take a little time to imagine what your ideal version of this summer would even be if you could have what you wanted. What would fill you up, nourish your soul, light your fire?

What do you need? What do you long for? What could life bring you, that would make up for the imagined missed fun of drinking and using? What would make a sober summer feel less like a goody-two-shoes thing, but a magnificent reward, a deeply connective chapter of your life?

Free write on the topic of your ideal sober summer.

If I could have a beautiful sober summer that magically matches my soul’s deepest longings, my unmet needs, the things I secretly wish for, this is what would happen…

Imagine you were going to build a house on a piece of property, yourself. What would you do? You would probably research, talk to other people who have done it, arrange for help from people who know what they’re doing, and make a serious, thorough plan.

Do the same for your sober summer. Research and plan it out, as realistically as you can, thinking of all the things that can go wrong and all the things that could be awesome.

Using your “ideal summer” free write from question 2, ask yourself what you can do, practically, to give yourself at least some of those feelings and experiences.

Maybe you can’t have all of it, but there is always something we can do to get into the energy of it. Use your ideal summer blueprint as inspiration, and see what you can practically and realistically implement.

Shoot for the moon, be willing to land among the stars if you don’t get to the moon, and also do the prep work to make sure your rocket doesn’t explode.

Be ready to work to fight for your sober summer. This may mean different kinds of effort: the work of setting boundaries, managing expectations with family, and communicating.

Prepare yourself and commit yourself to double down on attending meetings, working with a sponsor, going to therapy, and continuing to learn. As they say in 12 Steps, it works… if you work it.

Those of us with addiction patterning sometimes avoid hard work, not because we’re lazy but because we’re scared – of disappointment, failure, feelings – whatever it is that has taught us to fear our effort.

But when we invest energy in ourselves, that effort is rewarded a thousandfold by the benevolent forces of healing that are on our side.

The more we commit to the work of recovery, the more rewards come flowing to us in expected and unexpected ways. The self-worth that blooms internally when we fight for ourselves has to be experienced to be believed.

Become a hub of positivity, knowing that what you do for yourself and others is amplified and helps many more people than you could know, through the subtle energetic fabric that connects us all.

Create and share experiences you wish someone could give to you. If you wish someone would throw you a sober party where you play board games and make handmade pumpkin ravioli – girl, throw that party.

When we first get sober, the addict within tells us there will never be any social connection, love, or belonging ever again.

It’s not true. We can have plenty of friends, the types of friends who love us as we are, get what we’re about, and treat us with kindness and regard.

These people exist, but we may have to search a little to find them. One way to find them is to start going to different environments. Go to sober events. Try things you wouldn’t normally try. Be on the lookout for your people. See who shows up for you, when you show up for you. Have patience, it can take a while. But keep looking!

If this is an old hat for you, use this summer to reconnect and nourish the heart connections you have.

Let Mother Nature heal you. Spend some time gardening, hiking, walking, camping, biking, surfing – whatever you can do to get out into her embrace. Nature knows how to heal a sick spirit, and how to make you remember that you belong to life. Nature is a way to connect with the source.

The body needs to move. When we exercise, the body gets happy. When the body gets happy, so do we. Exercise! Play with new ways of moving. Learn to tango, go to a rock climbing gym, kayak, or do yoga teacher training. Ask your body what it wants to do, and listen to the answer.

Undertake a creative project for your summer. Print out your favorite photographs from this year and make a collage. Collect recipes from your family and make them into a recipe book to share with them. Take a pottery class. Using your creativity, especially in a short-term, project-oriented way, gives us structure, purpose, and something to do with our hands.

The truth is healing and sets us free. Find ways to strengthen it this summer, asking yourself, “What is my truth?”.

In your journal, in Twelve Step meetings, with your therapist, with your recovery peers, or among safe friends, practice sharing your truth. Start small, and build up to as much honesty as you need to feel its soul medicine. Authenticity cures the alienation of conditional belonging and banishes addiction to the hinterland.